Finding You
by Hikaru-wa-shiawase-ni-eien-ni
Summary: Head detective Quinn Fabray is a child prodigy who went into a field no one expected of a prodigy: police work. She finished college at the age of 14 and went on to graduate from the police academy at 18 and now she is the head detective at 24 years old. Rachel is the young detective fresh out of the academy who becomes her partner. Sparks ensue as they try to get along. AU
1. Biggest Annoyance

The inspiration for this story just randomly hit me for some reason and I had to write it out because it seems like such a good idea.

Chapter One

Biggest Annoyance

Quinn Fabray was set to meet her newest partner in the next ten minutes since her last partner had requested to be transferred to a different position within the Lima Ohio Police Station because not only could she not handle the cold blonde anymore the last case had hit her hard. The victim had been a young girl named Cecile Loraine and she had seen so little life and what she had seen had only been the bad side of it. She was only four years old but she had been molested and abused so severely she died at the young age of four and it just broke her heart. Though Quinn was known for being cold and unfeeling by the majority of her colleagues but for her two best friends it had hit her hard too. She had been even quieter than usual and extremely stiff and even harder to approach which was saying something considering she was always difficult to interact with only because no one knew what she was thinking and everyone was scared of the seemingly unfeeling blonde. There was just something about her that left people feeling unnerved and … disconcerted.

Quinn Fabray was exceptionally beautiful and everyone in the department knew it. She was tall, 5' 6", had surprisingly stylishly messy short blonde hair that reached just above her chin, gorgeous hazel eyes, though hard to read, chiseled cheek bones, plump lips, and a small nose sculpted to perfection. She was a beautiful woman who didn't seem to have a single flaw about her. That wasn't all there was to her though. She was smart, a prodigy after all, quiet but had a presence that demanded respect, confidence, a body that most women would kill for, no pun intended, but most of all she was always calm and collected no matter what the situation and that made her efficient. There had never been a situation that she had never come out on top of, there had never been any case she couldn't solve and she had an amazing track record at the station: 302 solved cases total in the last six years.

She was broken out of her thoughts by the voice of a perky blonde and her usually stoic but hot tempered companion and partner. "Hi Q!" and she was enveloped in a nearly bone crushing hug that she, almost to the other officers, who didn't know any better, surprise, hugged the effervescent blonde back with just as much force as opposed to the half hearted hug they had been expecting from her.

Brittany Pierce was a striking blonde who stood at 5' 8" with piercing blue eyes shining with innocence, sculpted cheek bones, long blonde hair, and a thin upper lip and a plumper bottom lip. She had a bright smile on her face and a cheerful attitude that instantly drew others to her. She was always a shiny ray of sunshine even if when some of the most gruesome cases seemed to drain the happiness out of those around her. She was like a beacon of hope in a dark, lightless world. She was also a great comic relief when she talked about her cat, Lord Tubbington the supposed smoking cat on ecstasy. She was always telling crazy stories about how he stole ecstasy from drugged up neighbors so Brittany could arrest them when they weren't high and how he would also take their alcohol so she could arrest them before they could drive drunk. One of Brittany's hobbies was dancing and she danced well. Brittany never ceased to make Quinn feel better even when she was at her lowest.

"Hey, Q, how are you you holding up after that last one? It was pretty gruesome and hard to stomach for, all of us." Santana said with a sympathetic look.

Santana was the toughest person out of everyone working in this police station. She had grown up in Lima Heights Adjacent despite the fact that her father was a doctor. 'You stay where family is' was her motto and the rest of her family's as well. She was a Latina beauty with long slightly wavy black hair, smoldering dark brown eyes, bodacious pouty lips, and defined cheekbones. She stood at 5' 5" and was known for being a fierce fire breathing Latina when she was crossed or challenged by others. She had a reputation for being fearsome and ruthless to anyone she disliked. She was also known for being a viciously protective of Brittany and Quinn, Brittany because she was her lover and Quinn because they were best friends. Santana had a witty tongue that never ceased to come up with slightly insulting but mostly humorous jokes about others working in the police station with them. Her favorite person to poke fun at (or make fun of depending on who you asked) was Kurt Hummel because he was the only (openly) gay male officer in the entire station and he had a hobby that just made it easy for her: make up. Everyone knew it was just nature to her so not very many minded it much especially since she came up with such tasteful jokes with her amazing dead pan skills.

Quinn looked into her eyes briefly before she looked away. "It's because of little girls like her I catch the bad guys. You know that S." Santana nodded. "I know you're worried about me but don't be because I'm fine." But she wasn't and Santana and Brittany both knew that but they knew not to say anything. Brittany hugged her again before stepping back and linking pinkies with Santana, something they had always done since they were children. It was no secret in the department that both of them were dating and that they lived together but their chief, Sue Sylvester, didn't care as long as they got the job done and they just so happened to be two of her best police officers as well since they were the dream team and that was just an added bonus. She found out a few years ago that separating those two only made their department look bad so she never cared to see that mistake repeated again.

Sue Sylvester was the chief of this police station and though she often said mean and rude things to others she was a compassionate woman in her own _very_ special way. She was a difficult woman to be around only if one didn't know how to handle her right and ignore most of her biting comments. She had interesting nicknames for everyone in the station and for the most part they were backwards compliments. She was an extremely witty woman who watched over the station with an iron fist to keep everyone in order, especially Puck who was known for breaking some of the rules in order to get his man, and in relative peace. She was the tallest woman out of all of the women working at the station at the height of 6'. She had an extremely quirky kind of personality that was hard, for most everyone she knew, to understand but she liked it that way because then no one would have her pinned, would know how to act around her.

Kurt Hummel was known for being good with cosmetics and it was just a hobby though because his true passion was bringing justice into this world. There was nothing else quite like it and it was invigorating and exciting to find a lead, get clues, until they caught the right person and that person was brought to justice in the legal courts where they would stay for as long as their sentence lasted. Kurt was a field agent who usually handled larceny and drug busts because of his rather uncanny skills in gathering information. It was almost like he had informants everywhere but whatever his methods were it got the job done and so no one really bothered to ask questions. He was a rather tall man who was a little over 5' 10" in height and he had an extremely high pitched speaking voice. He was handsome with a wispy figure compared to Puck, Will, and Mike. He wasn't a small man to say the least but he wasn't built like them and he had coiffed light brown hair that he personally did every morning into perfection and he never allowed even a single strand of hair to fly out of place no matter where he was. He was best friends with Mercedes Jones, who was in charge of records in the department. They were both quite the gossips and they seemed to know about everything that happened at the station even if it was something that had absolutely nothing to do with them. They somehow got wind of the news first before anyone else even had a chance to find out something had happened. Again it came with him having informants everywhere seemingly no matter what department it happened in.

There was Noah Puckerman who was the biggest player. Everyone called him Puck though. He was bi and he chased after men and women alike as long as they piqued his interest in some way, mainly it started off with how confident they were in themselves and if they had a nice body too on top of all of that. He was tall, standing at 6', with a muscular build, tan, and he had a Mohawk, which completely threw criminals off all of the time. He was the jokester amongst us and despite his sometimes insensitive seeming ways he had a heart behind his 'badass' that he didn't show often. He had a love for music that he liked to keep secret unless he was trying to woo someone. He liked to chase cocky people because he felt like they were more of a challenge to him and more worthy of his effort. He had a reputation for being lady and man killer but when he started a relationship he was serious and in it for the long run. If it wasn't serious it was only a matter of time before he moved onto his next fuck buddy. He was an overall nice guy he just happened to flirt with anything that moves in the room including friends and colleagues. The only exception to that was he never hit on family, which was a relief to everyone because that would just be awkward for everyone.

And there was Will Schuester who was a father figure to almost everyone in the station because he was a mentor to almost everyone in the station because he was one of the oldest members in the force and he was put in charge of trainees coming into the station. He had been a teacher before he decided on a career change and became an officer trainer because teaching Spanish just hadn't been his thing. He didn't speak very well and he also didn't understand the culture much either, so he found something else that captured his interests as someone who liked to teach better than Spanish did and he came to be the official officer trainer at this station. He was a fair man who was passionate about the subject he was teaching the newbies, the trainees, who would come to understand what every lesson meant in the field. He was a tall man who stood at the height of 6' and he had curly hair and a kind smile on his face and he was very built, bigger than Puck. He was a serious kind of man but despite his seriousness he always had something to smile about. He was always dissolving the fights that broke out between high strung officers who lost their cool because of the stress of their cases and the fact that the crimes they had to solve were sometimes so hard to deal with because of who they were saving and because sometimes there ones they couldn't save. The one saving grace was having someone so strong and kind easing the pain of all of these horrors. While Will provided a strong shoulder to cry on and kind words that made everyone feel safer and helped ease the tension of stressful situations.

Mercedes Jones was a fierce woman with a big heart and an even bigger mouth. She was a woman of average height and was 5' 4" in height. As compassionate as she was she was always gossiping none-stop with Kurt but it never got in the way of her work, and nobody knew how that was. She was known for being one of the best shooters in the entire department, second only to Quinn and was sometimes tied with Santana. She was known for her speed and accurate shooting when it came to maiming suspects who were running away with all they had to avoid being caught by one of the best police task forces in the entire county. She was a big and beautiful black woman with a big voice. She loved to sing Karaoke with her partner in crime, no pun intended, Kurt Hummel, who sang with an amazing falsetto. She sang with a very powerful voice and could belt out high notes unlike anyone else in this circle of friends and colleagues.

Tina Cohen-Chang was an extremely shy Asian-American woman. She was a woman of average height despite her Asian heritage at 5' 3". She had beautiful silky, straight black hair, slightly tan skin, almond shaped eyes with dark brown irises that shone with an innocent air surrounding her pure hearted nature. She had a very sweet disposition and she didn't speak very much but she did have fun during Karaoke nights with her colleagues. She was known for being the quietest member of the police task force and she was in charge of filing all of the paperwork for cases. She was an extremely organized person and that made her a quintessential part of the group because she made sure everything was in order with all of the files and paperwork were in order for whatever purpose they were needed for.

Mike Chang, who was of no relation to Tina, was also another tall male standing at 5' 11, he was very wiry looking but beneath his clothes was an extremely built man and he was known for his love of dancing. He often attended dance classes with Brittany when they had free nights and sometimes they would go to each other's houses to show off new dance moves they made up. After a few years of working together and never quite meeting each other they finally met through their mutual friend Brittany. Brittany sang with Tina on occasion and Brittany danced with Mike as often as their schedule allowed and when they met sparks seemed to fly and their red string of destiny was fulfilled. They had explained that there was in Asian culture a myth, folklore, about a red string that was connected to two people's pinky fingers and through that, through destiny, they would meet to become destined lovers someday no matter how long it took. It was a romantic story that the girls and Kurt liked to hear while the guys weren't sure what to make of it while Puck was the only one who was openly skeptical about it.

Sam Evans was a newer member of the police task force. He had joined only six months ago and he was slowly gaining recognition for being good at apprehending the criminals with his lean but muscular body. He was one of the fastest men in the task force and he earned the nickname Lightning Pole because of how tall and fast he was. He wasn't the tallest man in the force but he tied for second between Will and Puck. He was partners with Puck and they were one of the best teams in the entire station. They made it in the top 5 with their arrest track record and they were opposites in so many ways but they got along and bickered like an old married couple about half of the time but they were good at what they did all the same. Everyone was curious about their friendship because Puck was different around Sam … softer. He didn't flirt with Sam nearly as much as he did with anyone else

The last member of our circle of friends was Finn Hudson who was the tallest member of the task force standing at 6' 3" and he was known for his rather lackadaisical attitude and for being a bit on the slow side. He definitely wasn't the brightest apple in the bunch but he was an honest and hard worker. He didn't get along with Santana at all and he often got into fights with her because of her various nicknames for him; Pillsbury doughboy, Finnept, Finnocence, Frankenteen, the Giant Baby, and various other ones that were a bit inappropriate to mention. They got along as much as a cat got along with a mouse, Santana being the cat and Finn being the mouse. Santana was ruthless when it came to torturing him and though she always said she had her reasons she never expanded further on them. Finn was known for turning red in the face before he stomped off and kicked a chair or something else that wouldn't break and then Will would have to go and chase after him so he didn't do anything more destructive than that and then he would go and tell Santana to be nicer to Finn and sometimes she would acquiesce but other times she would just roll her eyes and walk away with Brittany following after her.

Quinn broke away from her thoughts when she heard a tentative voice address her. "Hello? Are you … um Quinn Fabray by chance?" She asked hesitantly. Quinn looked up into her brown eyes and she could see that she was an extremely gorgeous woman with a body to kill for if her short sleeved blouse with suspenders holding her skin tight pants up were any good indications of such a thing. She had wavy dark brown hair that was pulled up into a ponytail and she was undeniably sexy but she didn't seem to be aware of what beauty she had. Quinn felt her mouth open slightly in surprise. She had sun kissed skin, most likely tan naturally since she didn't appear to be the kind of person who cared about her appearance much and she was short, so short. She had to have been at least four inches shorter than Quinn, about 5' 2" in height. She had light make up on and not much else to cover her gorgeous face. I was in a trance or something but she broke it by speaking again. "Excuse me?"

Quinn shook her head slightly before she nodded her head in answer. "Yes, my name is Quinn Fabray … what of it? What business do you have with me?" Quinn asked briskly.

"Well I am required to meet with you for I have been told that I am to be your partner from now on while I work at this specific police station Miss Quinn Fabray. It is nice to meet your acquaintance and I hope that we will work well together hereafter." She spoke a lot for saying something that could have been so much simpler. For some reason Quinn found her extremely annoying … the biggest annoyance she had ever come into contact with in my entire life really. Quinn took her outstretched hand in her own and shook briefly but firmly before letting go swiftly.

"You too, I'm sure. Just don't slow me down or get in my way of investigating and I'm sure you and I will work out just fine um … you never told me your name." Quinn said apathetically.

"Oh, you have my sincerest apologies Fabray. My name is Rachel Barbra Berry, please take care of me and guide me to the fullest of your abilities henceforth Fabray. I hope we will become good partners in the next few months." She said smoothly, deliberately ignoring my indifferent attitude toward her speech.

Quinn wasn't sure how she could tell but she could just tell that there was something about her that she didn't like … something that annoyed her inexplicitly and it bothered her so much to the point that she was even colder to her than she normally was to others with the exception of Santana and Brittany. Quinn knew that there was going to be a long day ahead of her today as she got her things situated at her new desk in front of her.

Santana and Brittany came over to my desk where Quinn sat with uncertain feelings and Santana whispered to me, "So, that's your new partner huh?" Quinn just nodded curtly. "She seems to be confident in herself and her abilities from what I can see. She sure can talk. She approached Brit first to ask if she was Quinn probably because the chief only told her that she was a tall blonde female. That's so like the chief to pull a stunt like that to make the new girl feel like a fool. How are you going to work with this midget here?" She asked with a raised brow in Santana fashion.

Quinn shrugged uninterestedly, "I don't know. I'll just have to see where this goes I guess San. She's … not that bad I think … just very good at making long winded speeches. Time will tell how well we work together. So what are you and Brit up to right now?" Quinn could just tell that there was something different about her that was bothering her but she didn't know what it was exactly but she didn't really care too much about it and she would just work with her for as long as they were partners and that was that, end of story. She wondered how long she would last because her last partner was with her for no more than three months before she requested to be transferred to a different precinct far, far away from one Quinn Fabray, from her. Like she had thought time would tell everything.

Please review and tell me if this is interesting or just plain old boring! If it's not interesting then I'll just stop this story here but if enough people review then I will deem it worthy to continue!^^

姫宮光る


	2. Can't Ignore

Chapter 2

Can't Ignore

As soon as Chief Sylvester was finished debriefing us about the next case, which was a big one because there were already five bodies claimed by this psychotic serial killer, Quinn Fabray immediately moved to her desk to look over the case file again. It had been a week since Rachel was assigned as her new partner and in that time she had done nothing but annoy Quinn with her superfluous speeches and tempt her with her extreme intelligence considering the fact that Quinn loved women who were intelligent … and her amazing body was just the cherry on top for her.

She let the thoughts of her hot, model worthy partner float away as she focused on the case file again with a studious intent. She naturally had it memorized already but she kept going back to see if she had missed anything in it because why else wouldn't it all fit together and make sense to her? There had never been a case she couldn't solve and this was bothering her greatly since it had already been a few hours and nothing seemed to pop out at her. Nothing seemed to really fit since each kill the ages of the victims were all varying, they all looked different, and their sex was mixed and the only thing tying them together was the way they were being murdered: asphyxiation and then their bodies were cut in half. It was gruesome but definitely a trade mark, a pattern this person was giving as a single clue. There was no clear MO and not just that but there seemed to be something off with all of the cases but Quinn just couldn't put her finger on it and it was frustrating her to no end.

"Is something wrong Quinn?" Quinn heard and she knew almost immediately who it was. She would recognize this voice anywhere due to the fact that she had become so acquainted with its owner so well the last seven days due to her chief's wish for her to have a partner who had just come from the academy. It might not have necessarily been her wish but she had still done it so Quinn now had to deal with a very vocal diva who frustrated her in ways she could not understand for the life of her and it wasn't just that either … she was actually good, _good_ at what she did. She hadn't made any rookie mistakes yet nor had she shown anything but competence when it came to doing all of the police tasks she had been given so far. It was like she was perfect … she didn't seem to have any flaws when it came to work while in real life she annoyed the living hell out of Santana, Finn Hudson was a little too interested in her, Puck hit on her on a daily basis, Kurt was becoming her best diva friend and Mercedes her rival more than diva friend. It was just mind boggling for Quinn to see someone garnering so much attention so easily. Sam Evans was good and not even he seemed to have garnered the same attention as she did almost effortlessly.

Quinn shook herself from her thoughts and looked up to respond to her, "I'm fine Berry … this case is just … utterly frustrating. It all seems so strange and … it's like … the killer is randomly picking victims from this one …" and then it hit her that this case reminded her of something that she hadn't been able to think of earlier for some reason. "I know what the missing piece is." And with that said Quinn walked over to the clear board and grabbed a random marker from the box of markers sitting on a nearby desk and started writing all of the seemingly unconnected pieces together and Quinn marked off important information together on the board. Quinn didn't have an ID but what she had was a profile, a description for this person who had been the cause of the string of murders that all connected to one thing, one person: one serial killer. Quinn knew it was completely rude of her to walk off in the middle of a conversation but she was so used to just running off in excitement at having figured out important details like that and she needed to tell the chief immediately ever time. The chief had a soft spot for her often referring to her as 'a young Sue Sylvester' and in some ways they were similar.

Upon knocking on the door Quinn heard Sue's voice, "what is it Q? Do you have something for me?" She asked in a surprisingly soft voice. Quinn was taken aback momentarily before she answered.

"Yes. I figured out the profile of the serial killer and I wanted you to be the first to look at it chief, that is if you are free to do so right now." Quinn said confidently, sure of herself and her abilities when it came to coming up with profiles about the criminals she was only too eager to arrest and put into custody.

Sue nodded her head and followed Quinn to the board filled with all of her notes describing the criminal's profile and how it all linked and connected to the murders of the five people who seemed to be unconnected in every way possible. There was a diagram now with arrows pointing to the victims and they were all connected to words she put up in a separate column to indicate the profile of the serial killer which was a much more concise list than what was given in the report from what the chief could see. She read over its entirety before she spoke up with slight awe in her voice, "impressive … very impressive Q. It's just what I would expect from you. You even have a potential for where this killer might live within a 10 mile radius which is exceptional even for you. Keep up the good work Q. Oh you're the lead on this case so go take … what's her name again? Anyhow take Streisand with you to interview people in that area to see if they know anything about the killer." She said with a dismissive wave before going back to her office to look over something else that might have been another case.

Quinn had dreaded the thought of having to go out with Rachel because not only was it going to be difficult being trapped in a car with her she would have to endure her most likely going through annoyingly long speeches and perhaps her singing along to the radio as well. The singing part was okay because she had a very nice voice and it wasn't like she was flaunting her skills when it came to singing, she was just enjoying her favorite songs and singing along, but the speaking part … dear God why did she have to say everything in long winded speeches the way she did? Why couldn't she just be someone who spoke monosyllabic sentences … or at the very least just speak like any other person in the world did? It just felt like she was doing everything in her power to annoy the normally stoic blonde into showing emotions and being more … well human in showing emotions like annoyance and anything else she could possibly make her feel.

Quinn walked calmly to her desk and grabbed a few folders before walking over to where Rachel was sitting contently at her desk, looking through the case file most likely, and humming to herself softly. "Berry, let's go. Chief wants us to go interview people in the area that I pinpointed as what might be his home's location. What we're looking for is a schizophrenic who doesn't know he is. We're going to look for someone who is skittish and jittery because he is seeing things that no one else can and therefore is unable to concentrate on conversations well because he will be speaking to his hallucinations." She looked dumbfounded for a moment before she nodded her head and stood up to follow Quinn to their car.

Once they were in the car she spoke up, "how did you come to the conclusion that our un-sub is in fact a schizophrenic Quinn? I mean there was nothing in the case file that said anything about that and it seems to fit it very well though despite the fact that nothing about schizophrenia was mentioned in the case file. It makes perfect sense but at the same time it mustn't have been an easy conclusion to come by so how did you manage to figure it out just like that?" She sounded like she was in awe of me and I couldn't blame her. Prodigies weren't born every day and at that most likely 99% of them went into fields like music, science, mathematics, maybe even acting but certainly not going into the police task force like Quinn did. Quinn was a rarity amongst prodigies.

"I'm sure you know that I'm the head detective and … I'm very young to be one being that I'm only 24 years old and most head detectives don't earn their title as such until they are in their mid thirties to early forties. I'm a child prodigy so because of that reason I entered the task force at 18 years old and so it's been six years since I was first accepted into this particular police task force. I'm basically the reason why this one is one of the best in all of the state of Ohio and why I'm in such high demand in other police stations. I've had offers from the Atlantic Coast of the US to the Pacific Coast and though some of the offers are extremely high positions I've turned them all down because this is my team, this is my second family. I would never abandon them for something even if it might be better for me because it's like Santana says to me all of the time 'you stay where the family is.' The Lima Ohio Police Station is where my family is so I'm staying here with them no matter what offers I receive from others seeking me out to work with them. I … I haven't told any of them about the fact that I get offers from all over the US to work for them. The most persistent offers are from DC but I keep telling them no because I couldn't possibly … I can't possibly leave my family to fend for themselves without me." Quinn was never this way in front of another person so she wasn't quite sure why she was able to say all of this to someone who was barely more than an acquaintance to her. It surprised her as much as it surprised her partner considering she had only ever seen Quinn's cold side before this. It was like Quinn couldn't help herself and revealed all of this to Rachel without even realizing that she had been doing such a thing.

Rachel Berry was never one to become speechless, tongue tied like this. She was sure that this was the first time someone had left her tongue tied in her entire life and considering the fact that she was 23 years old, and that was a long time to go without ever finding a situation to become speechless over. "I … wow. You actually left me speechless and I don't … I don't think that's ever happened to me before. You … you're normally very apathetic and mute when it comes to expressing your feelings and your thoughts. I know that it's not that you cannot express yourself or articulate your feelings, you just _choose_ not to articulate your feelings for your own personal reasons and I respect that. I'm sure that you do show this side of yourself to your two best friends at the very least and perhaps your family because I can tell that they are the most important people to you and so I can see that though you don't say much what you do say they understand perfectly without you further explaining yourself. In the last week you've barely spoken to me unless it was work related and that was the extent of it but whenever Santana or Brittany or both came around you would have a softer look on your face when you spoke to them. The first time I saw it … it made me miss my fathers. I love them dearly and that look was reminiscent of feelings of happiness I only feel around them because I love them so. I've never seen you look like that other than when you're talking to them. You have various other faces that are softer looks for the other officers but not like that specific look for your best, dearest friends." She spoke certainly and it was something that Quinn did not like to hear. It showed that in the last week this woman had figured out more of her than any of her previous partners had ever come to know in the months that they worked with her … it was like she somehow saw through her in every way and Quinn Fabray did not like it. She enjoyed her track record for being cold and hard to read because that way no one would be able to hurt her ever again.

And it was silent in the car after what Rachel had said only for a few moments before Quinn whispered with much difficulty, "and you noticed all of this in the time span of a single week? You noticed all of these things I …" but she stopped because she couldn't go on, she couldn't reveal so much about herself just like that to someone she couldn't even stand being around because of the feelings she felt surfacing in her that she promised to never feel ever again. Feelings like these were better left to be forgotten because it would only lead to heartache and sorrow, nothing that she wanted to feel ever again.

Rachel waited for a moment longer but when it was apparent Quinn wasn't going to speak and further elaborate she spoke up, "you what Quinn?" Quinn spared her a single glance, as she was driving, before she shook her head in answer. "Okay … well yes I've always been an observant person so I did take notice of all of these things about you in the last week we have known each other and I've noticed a few other things as well but I thought it better that I not talk about them considering the fact that you seem a little threatened by me seeing all of these things in so little time. I can tell that you like to keep yourself in your own corner of mystery because you seem to be quite the introvert despite the field of profession you've chosen to go into. Police work is not for introverts and yet you've somehow managed to work passed it … well work with this kind of personality trait. You're also very guarded when it comes to who you will trust and how much trust you give each person you interact with. You may be a genius with an eidetic memory and photographic memory as well from what I've seen but I have an eidetic tonal memory and so I can remember everything you've ever said as well as anyone else around me. You don't have to divulge everything to me but as your partner I would like to know you a bit more … I would like to at least know how you work and what makes you tick in order for us to be better partners, in order for us to work well with each other since we need to in this line of work." Rachel spoke with tenderness that Quinn was so unused to she felt uncomfortable.

Quinn bit her lip as she thought about what Rachel had just said, _it seems that she's someone I cannot simply bypass as I had originally hoped to do … she's someone I can't ignore._ She took a moment to think about what she should say before speaking softly, a show of understanding and acknowledgment, "I can see that you're not like the others … and there have been many. I acknowledge and accept that you're nothing like the other girls who gave up and resigned only to transfer to different positions within our police station or moved to entirely different counties or states in order to run away from me. I … just when I started trusting them and thinking to myself that they were a good partner they would suddenly announce that they were leaving to do other things because they couldn't stand being around me anymore because I was … too cold to them. I … it hurt even if I want to say that it didn't affect me at all because I'm better than that … I'm stronger than that … but the truth is I'm not … I'm just as weak and fragile and vulnerable as any other person in this world. I'm not the cold hearted bitch they all seem to think I am and I can bleed too." She had no idea why she was revealing so much to her … but there was just something about Rachel Berry that made her inviting … enticing … easy to talk to. She was nothing like Quinn in that respect because no one could tell what she was truly thinking and so no one really ever confided in her. She was really getting under Quinn's skin in more ways than one. "I … I honestly don't know why I'm even telling you any of these things … I've never … I've never told anyone these things before … not even my best friends and yet … here I am telling someone who is practically a stranger to me. I … I didn't even know that I was capable of speaking so frankly, so … honestly with another person before now."

Rachel chuckled at that. "I've heard that I have this kind of effect on people … I think it has something to do with the fact that I wanted to be a therapist at one point but … something happened and I decided to go for bringing justice into this world instead. I felt that it might suit me better too and so here I am, 23 years old and working with a prodigy, a genius, by the name of Quinn Fabray." Rachel said with a smile on her face. She most certainly was pleased with herself for being able to help Quinn voice something that had been bothering her, plaguing her really, for so long but she never disclosed to anyone because she perhaps felt ashamed or that she was doing something wrong and therefore deserved to have partner after partner leave her like that.

Rachel was broken out of her thoughts by Quinn's voice, "well here's the first house we're visiting because it's one of the first houses in the 10 mile radius I discovered earlier. Let's go." And they both got out of the car to start the grueling process of questioning people about what they might potentially know.

They had been out in the field for nearly four hours and they only had a small handful of suspects that fit the profile description that Quinn had made as well as a sketch from a witness had described for their sketch artist. All in all it was a good start and along the way they saw that some of the other field officers had been told to go out to do the same thing so they weren't completely empty handed and they weren't the only ones looking so there was a good chance that the others had a few leads too.

When they got back to the station they saw that only Santana and Brittany were at their desk writing something and they seemed lost in their thoughts. Quinn decided to leave them be and look through her notes again to organize them better and also to eliminate the few suspects who didn't seem like likely to match up to her profile by at least 70%. She went back to the sketch and looked at it carefully, memorizing every detail down to the freckles covering his cheeks. She wanted to make sure that if she ever saw someone who looked even remotely similar to this sketch she would be able to spot it immediately without fail because it was pertinent to catch this serial killer before too many bodies piled up.

Quinn was so lost in thought that she didn't even notice when someone came to stand next to her and she was a little startled to see that Santana and Brittany had come to stand next to her and they were waiting for her to notice them. Quinn looked up with a slightly startled look on her face despite the fact that she was so shocked that her heartbeat had actually picked up in speed due to their sudden appearance (to her). "You two certainly know how to sneak up on people." Quinn spoke with slight annoyance in her voice but it was directed with her for being so immersed that she didn't even notice her two best friends and Santana and Brittany could sense this and shook their heads at her.

"Don't be so harsh on yourself Q. You don't have eyes on the back of your head and you don't have a sixth sense either so don't beat yourself up over not hearing us. Anyways the reason Brit and I came over here was to tell you that we wanted to compare notes with you to see if there are any commonalities over what we wrote individually. That way we can see if we have any good leads as opposed to just having leads on the case … well suspects alone that fit the description. So you in Q?" She asked (but it sounded more like a demand coming from the Latina).

Quinn nodded before including Rachel in the equation, "Rachel, would you be willing to allow Santana and Brittany to look at your notes so that they can compare notes to narrow down the suspect list from what we already have now? The others should be back any minute now so we can compare with them when they come in if you are okay with it."

Rachel nodded her head before speaking up because she was such a verbose diva and she couldn't help herself, "certainly, you may look at my notes. I would be more than glad to look over your notes as well to see what leads you have come up with and most naturally I will allow the others to look at my notes when they come back from observing the neighborhoods." She always spoke such long sentences that could have been simplified simply with a yes or no answer no matter what the topic of the conversation was and it was annoying for Santana and Quinn both and for the most part Brittany was immune to it. She didn't understand most of what she said anyways to begin with so why would it bother her?

"So … that's a yes right?" Brittany asked with a confused look on her face from having to digest so much that she didn't actually understand. Rachel looked a bit incredulous but nodded her head in affirmation. Rachel wasn't sure why Brittany looked so confused but she attributed to the fact that she had spoken a long sentence and so Brittany hadn't been able to catch every word she had said. Just as Rachel was about to hand her notes to Santana Sam and Puck arrived back at the station and headed their way with an urgency that just rolled off of them in waves.

They approached the foursome and Sam was the first to speak, "while we were out looking for clues this shady guy came up from behind us and tried to attack us and he fit the profile Quinn wrote up perfectly but we couldn't see his face because it was dark but we're sure it was him. He was muttering to himself and it seemed as if he was talking to other people that we couldn't see. It was all very strange and he fit your profile down to a T." Sam spoke urgently.

Puck spoke up next, "we were walking back to our car when we noticed him. He was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk, muttering something we couldn't hear, when all of a sudden he ran up to me with a rope in his hands and he almost got to me because he was so fast but luckily Sam tackled him to the ground. He got away because he punched Sam right in the nose and we think he broke his nose." Now that they were all looking at him closely they could see some remnants of blood on Sam's upper lips and the skin above that and his nose looked a bit off too as well as extremely bruised. Puck looked worried about Sam and extremely out of character the way he kept looking over at Sam and then looking away only to look back again with the same worried and agitated look on his face. He seemed to have a lot of pent up energy and he couldn't stop moving in some way or another.

"Puck … calm down," Sam put a warm hand on Puck's shoulder. "It wasn't your fault and I'm fine." Puck looked like he was ready to cry from how upset he was.

"No, Sam, you're not. Your nose is broken and it is my fault because I should have known better. I should have realized that he was going to try and attack me and stop it from happening in the first place. Once we're done here I'm taking you to the hospital." Puck said his voice gruff at first before he softened up toward the end. It seemed like he really did care about Sam a great deal because of how emotional he had become.

Sam's grip on his shoulder tightened when he spoke next, "I really am fine and if you insist I will go to the hospital with you only to prove that I'm perfectly fine. I'm just bruised up, I'm sure of it Puck." Sam said serenely. His calm demeanor seemed to have a calming effect on Puck who stopped fidgeting almost immediately and a tranquil look passed over his face after Sam spoke. He nodded his head to show that he was feeling better and smiled at Sam; it was a smile no one at the station had ever seen on his face.

"Okay. Let's go file the incident report for this and give it to Tina." Puck said taking hold of one of Sam's cuffs from his dress shirt and leading him over to their desks.

Santana was the first to break the silence that had befallen the foursome, "well if that wasn't odd I'm not fucking Brit every day." And immediately Quinn's cheeks reddened in embarrassment and Rachel looked like she had just heard the most scandalous news in the world with how high her eyebrows had risen, they were nearly at her hair line.

"But we do fuck every day San. You're so silly." Brittany spoke like it was the most natural conversation to have in front of someone they barely and their best friend. She also added to the embarrassment that Quinn and Rachel felt by kissing Santana soundly on the lips and when they pulled away a resounding pop could be heard. To say that the two witnesses were frozen in complete and utter shock was a huge understatement because they were well passed frozen in shock, they seemed to be frozen completely and the air around them seemed cooler than the rest of the station.

At that moment someone else came in to the picture, "no PDA in this office Brittana, remember? What if someone from internal affairs had seen you? It would have been my neck on the line if they see something as obvious as that blatant display of affection between _partners_, got it Brittana?" Brittana was the nickname Sue had come up with for them ever since it became apparent to her that they were a couple and it was only known and understood by everyone in the inner circle meaning Mike, Tina, Sam, Puck, Kurt, Mercedes, Finn, Will, Quinn, of course Santana and Brittany, and Sue herself. And since Rachel was new she hadn't ever heard the reference before but she was smart enough to figure out what it meant on her own.

"Yeah, chief. Sorry we slipped. It was kind of a spur of the moment kind of thing but we'll be sure to be more careful from now on for sure. Don't worry about us chief." Santana spoke reassuringly and she looked chastised because she knew what risks Sue was taking by allowing them to stay partners like she was. She could lose her position as chief and they themselves could be fired by some higher ups because of the fact that there was inner office romance going on between them. "Let's get back to actually doing some work Brit. Here's our notes Q and … dwarf. Sorry I really can't remember your name so I'm calling you dwarf until I learn it. What is it again?" Santana didn't sound sorry in the least but she at least apologized for the nickname which she rarely ever did and maybe she did feel a little bad about it.

Rachel looked slightly taken aback but she responded nonetheless, "its Rachel, Rachel Berry Santana. Please try to refrain from continuing on with your nickname for me since it is rather unpleasant and I would rather not hear such a derogatory reference to my height since I am not of dwarven height in stature mainly because the height limitation is 4' 10" and under and I am not nearly that short. I am a proud 5' 2" and therefore I do not meet the requirements for such a nickname nor for such a label Santana. I do not think it an appropriate way of addressing me at all so am inclined to request you to refer to me by either my first or last name." Rachel was slightly indignant but not to the point that it was unreasonable considering Santana had called her a dwarf.

"Okay look, I know you're new around here and you don't know me that well but I wasn't calling you a dwarf out of meanness or anything of the like. I really couldn't remember what your name was and I'm not your partner so it's not my business to remember your name. All I know about you is that you're extremely new and that's about it. I don't know anything else about you so don't you go all 'please refrain from calling me dwarf' because I didn't mean to insult you either. You're shorter than me and I was trying to joke around with you, comprende?" Santana only ever reverted back to her Latina routes when she felt insulted and she most certainly looked like she was thoroughly insulted.

"S, cool it. She didn't mean it offensively just like you didn't mean what you said to be rude so you don't need to be so defensive. Rachel, I know you don't know what Santana's like so I'm pretty sure you couldn't tell that she was joking so please don't take her seriously in the future." Quinn interjected. She took a moment to take a deep breath in, "is everyone cool now?" She asked with authority in her voice.

They both nodded and Santana looked like a petulant child but she didn't say anything further to agitate the situation. Quinn knew that this was going to be a very eventful next few weeks with Rachel adjusting to everyone, especially Santana since they seemed to be butting heads most, and the newness of Rachel. It was going to a long day even though it was almost over as it was.

Here's the second chapter! Please leave your thoughts in reviews!^^

姫宮光るより


	3. Butting Heads

Chapter 3

Butting Heads

It turned out that Sam indeed did have a broken nose but it was only slightly broken … as in there was only a small break or something like that. He was lucky that the break wasn't bad so it would be healing nicely, evenly, so he wasn't going to have a crooked nose for the rest of his life. Santana and Rachel were wary around each other because they didn't want to have another fight for the sake of Quinn, being that she was best friends with Santana and partners with Rachel. Overall the police station had drama lurking around it and chaos surrounding it because of the fact that the serial killer hadn't been caught yet and it had been three days since the case was assigned. Another body had been found in that time since it was left carelessly in a park suggesting that the killer hadn't planned for this particular attack and messed up.

Quinn was extremely stressed out because they had gone to the neighborhood Sam had been attacked in and found no traces of him whatsoever. It was utterly frustrating and Quinn couldn't seem to find any way of locating the elusive killer other than the profile she wrote and that in itself was odd. There was something strange about this … could she have been wrong? Was she missing something else completely and unaware of it somehow? She sat lost in thought when something occurred to her. The first five bodies had been hidden which suggested organized kills, premeditated murders essentially. This last one hadn't been hidden but the MO had been the same, the murder had been the same. That suggested that not just one but _TWO_ people who had to have been killing these people. One person seemed to be of lower intelligence than the other and was following blindly while this other person was executing the orders. This was a two person team they were looking for and not just one person who possibly had schizophrenia.

Quinn immediately went to the board to write her thoughts down when she saw something that stopped her cold. Someone else had already written down that it had to be a duo committing the murders and not a single person. Who had figured it out before her? She looked at the writing more closely and knew immediately who had beaten her to this revelation: Rachel Barbra Berry. She knew what every single person working this police station and what their handwriting looked like because she had an eidetic and photographic memory. She was the prodigy so having someone figure something like that out before was shameful for Quinn. She could not believe that something like that happened to her. She had to find Rachel immediately. She needed to know how Rachel figured it out before she had. It never happened to her before and so now she was feeling threatened by this beautiful, intelligent woman.

_Have I become complacent? Maybe I've become overconfident in my abilities and I'm not trying as hard as I used to and that's what happened here? Whatever the reason I need to find her to ask her how she came to that conclusion … before I did but I won't mention that part to her. This is so utterly frustrating!_ She looked around the station but she could not be found anywhere that Quinn looked within the station. She looked at her watch and noticed something that made her feel extremely idiotic. It was already noon so why would Rachel still be here? She then looked into her memory and recounted the fact that she saw Santana and Brittany eating lunch together at their desk and that Puck and Sam weren't around and neither was Tina and Mike. She felt like she was losing her grip on what was once her grounded place amongst everyone because this kind of thing had never happened to her before.

Quinn went back to sit at her desk and she felt so defeated that it almost showed on her face and in the way her shoulders dipped down slightly. For most people it wasn't noticeable but for Rachel, who came back only minutes after Quinn had sat down at her desk, she recognized it immediately. She could just see it in the way Quinn stared at nothing in particular and the way her eyes, though hard to read as always, showed something in them that they had never showed before: tension. They were a stormy blue-green now instead of their usual hazel state and that was unsettling for Rachel to see. She had never seen Quinn in this state before in the last ten days she had been partners with her. It was most likely an emotion that even Santana and Brittany hadn't seen from her often as well. Rachel couldn't be sure but she suspected it to be so. It was only a conjecture after all.

She decided that she would speak to Quinn to make sure she was okay, "Quinn, are you feeling all right? You don't look well." Rachel even more worried when Quinn didn't respond for several quiet moments. "Quinn?" Quinn seemed to have broken out of her thoughts when she visibly shook her head and rubbed her face with her hands. It was almost as if she was shaking herself out of her thoughts. She looked up at Rachel with such a cold look Rachel wondered if it was just her way of hiding her emotions or if it was directed at her for whatever reason.

"I'm sorry, can you please repeat that? I was … lost in my thoughts." Rachel wasn't sure why but something about the way she was speaking to her made her feel uncomfortable. There was something about how she was looking at her and what she was saying that bothered Rachel greatly. Rachel was greatly taken aback by the expression on Quinn's face. It was as if Quinn hated her, despised her … loathed her greatly. That was the feeling that Rachel got from her and it was a bit disheartening for Rachel because she had thought that Quinn was opening up to her finally. She had thought that they were going to be good partners for each other just three days ago when Quinn opened up to her about her life at the station.

The emotion that Rachel was feeling right now was akin to someone pulling a rug out from underneath her feet and it was uncomfortable, disconcerting in many ways. "I … I asked if you were feeling all right because you don't seem well. You looked … well very tense and upset just a moment ago before I … interrupted your thoughts." Rachel was unsure about how to approach the very cold and aloof blonde now that she was looking at her the way she was now. Quinn had never been this way around Rachel before so it left her flustered because she wasn't sure what she wanted anymore. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to interact with the blonde now that she was acting the way she was: colder than ever and distant, so very distant.

Quinn just looked at her for a moment before she looked right into her eyes and she saw something that had never been there before: fear. Quinn was afraid of something but she wasn't voicing it and it made Rachel worry even more. The fear was hidden well but it was still visible for Rachel to see plainly, clearly. It was hard to decipher at first but she could see it as clear as the sun shining bright on this summer day. It was there and she had no idea, no clue, as to why it was and she planned on finding out.

Quinn interrupted her inner monologue by finally speaking, "I'm just … thinking about the case and about how there haven't been any clues as to where the lead suspect is in our case, that's all Berry." She paused and seemed to soften up slightly, "is there anything else you needed?"

Rachel was taken slightly aback by the softness in her tone. It was not something she had ever seen in Quinn before and it made her wonder what the reason for it might be. "I … well have you eaten yet? I brought some food back with me since I was planning on eating here and it doesn't appear as if you've left to get yourself something to eat yet. … Would you … would you like to share with me? I have enough to feed both of us if you wish to share with me rather than going out to buy something to eat, Quinn." Quinn looked surprised at the offer and her expression became even softer but subtly so in a way that if anyone else looked they might not have been able to read her expression. In fact they might have mistaken it for something else, something it was most definitely not at all. Rachel saw it for what it was though and it unnerved Quinn that she was able to read her so well.

Rachel wasn't sure what it was about Quinn that attracted her so much but there was just something about Quinn that kept her coming back for more, even if more meant that she was coming back to a cold and nearly unapproachable tall blonde. "I … I would like that Rachel. Thank you for your generosity … Rachel." Quinn said with a small smile. Rachel recalled, with some awe, that it was only the second time Quinn had referred to her by her first name since they first became partners. The first time she had been defending her and now … Rachel didn't know what it was but she felt an emotion she had never felt seeing that small smile on her face. It was the first time she had ever seen a smile on the blonde's face directed at her. She had seen that smile before but it was only ever directed at Santana and Brittany and it was rare even then. It was unusual to see such a soft smile on her face and it was a strange but welcomed sight for Rachel.

"It honestly it isn't any trouble and … you're my partner after all and I like you. I mean I know it's only been ten days but I can see myself being not just your partner but your friend as well Quinn." And she really believed so. The blonde felt something she had never felt before and she couldn't decipher what feeling it was but she distinctively didn't like it. There was just something that was growing inside of her, a feeling that continued to fester uncontrollably. Was it the fear of her becoming better than her in this station and then becoming unnecessary? She wasn't sure what it was but it was becoming unbearable. The blonde wasn't sure about how to start her line of questions about how Rachel came to the revelation that she did but she knew she needed to ask.

She figured out a way to not be completely strange and … well crazy while asking what she needed to know. "Berry, I noticed your writing on the board and saw that you added some notes to the profile, mainly that it is a two person team as opposed to one person. How did you come to that conclusion if you don't mind my asking?" Quinn asked carefully. She didn't want to let on that she felt threatened because that would just reveal another part of her personality that she kept hidden. She didn't want anyone knowing she was this insecure about her position at the Lima Police Station. She felt the need to stay on top so she could stay useful to the team, so she could be useful and necessary.

Rachel looked at Quinn, really looked at Quinn, and she must have seen something in her eyes because when she answered she answered in a way that suggested that she knew that Quinn was asking for a reason other than just pure curiosity. "Of course I don't mind Quinn … we are partners after all and partners should share this kind of information with each other." She hinted heavily by saying things this way but Quinn just pushed it to the back of her mind … for now. "Well anyways, I was looking at similar cases in the record room and I stumbled across a case with such a similar MO that I read the entire case through, came back to the board you had written on and looked back at the case and I saw everything that you had written down. It all made sense to me then and I wrote down the other missing pieces down so that everyone else could see it. I don't want you to feel ashamed that you didn't figure this out on your own because this case was one before you came to work in the police station so you should not feel anything like that." Rachel could see in Quinn's eyes that she was surprised that she had caught on so quickly to Quinn's insecurities.

Quinn was almost tempted to ask how Rachel knew but she refrained from asking and thanked her softly, "thank you Rachel … for everything." This was the third time she had referred to Rachel by her first name and this time there was a certain soft quality to her voice. Rachel felt something strange in her chest. It was like her heart was happy and beating faster out of happiness. It was strange because she had never felt this way before. She wondered what it could be that was making her feel this way. It was like her heart was fluttering … perhaps it was because of how sincere Quinn was and because Quinn seemed to be warming up to her so well despite her normally introverted ways.

"There is absolutely nothing you need to thank me for Quinn. Now let's eat because I'm rather hungry if I do say so myself. I have a vegan dish here with me from my favorite vegan restaurant. Is that okay with you Quinn?" Quinn looked slightly surprised, which meant she was extremely surprised, but she nodded her head nonetheless.

"I've never eaten anything vegan before in my life but I … I'm willing to try something new that you seem to like so much." Quinn was smiling her small smile again and Rachel felt that same fluttering in her heart but she had no idea what it was or why it kept happening around one Lucy Quinn Fabray. Rachel watched as Quinn took her first bite from their shared container and she seemed to enjoy it greatly if her appreciative groan was any indication. "This is … wow, this is amazing Berry. I've never had anything like it before in my life. I am _so_ glad you were kind enough to share this with me because I think I've found something new that I will definitely incorporate into my home cooking from now on. This is really amazing." Quinn was smiling the widest smile Rachel had ever seen on her face and she felt something even stronger than a flutter … it was like an avalanche of emotion flooding her and filling her heart up entirely. She would have to investigate this further somehow.

"You need to shut up now midget! I know that you're new and all but you are pissing the fuck out of me and you need to leave now before I smash your face in so that your oversized nose doesn't bother me anymore!" Santana all but shouted.

"I've never met such a ridiculous, hot tempered, stubborn human being in my life! I mean I've had my fair share of stubborn people and I am stubborn myself but never quite to this extent!" Rachel was speaking louder than her normal speaking voice but she wasn't quite shouting either.

"Do you know where I grew up? I grew in Lima Heights Adjacent so we know how to take care of business there dwarf." Santana was becoming angrier and angrier as she spoke to the point that she was nearly ready to revert to her roots and her native language. "You should know better than to insult people when you talk to them short-stack." The nicknames seemed to flow from the Latina easily as insulting name after insulting name was being spoken. "It's not every day I get such a golden opportunity to let others know that what happens in the Heights stays in the Heights. You never insult me or Brittany and we're fine but since you chose to do something so idiotic I guess I'll be teaching you a lesson now Berry." Santana cracked her neck and her knuckles as she approached the tan diva. She stopped only when there was a single centimeter separating them. Rachel stood her ground as the Latina looked down at the shorter tan woman.

Rachel stared right into the fiery eyes of one very pissed off Santana Lopez as she spoke boldly, "I did absolutely nothing wrong and you know it. I personally think that all you want to do is pick a fight with me because of your petty reasons and your dislike for me. All I did was ask you why you were flirting with your … _partner_ instead of working on the case like everyone else in this station. You have absolutely no right to treat this as something I did to affront you purposefully and you know it. Now stop with all of the BS and grow up Santana Lopez. I would also appreciate it if you stopped calling me all of those derogatory names and leave me alone because I have done you no wrong. Now I would appreciate it if you take a few steps back and leave me alone."

"Escucha soy de Lima Heights Adjacent yo teco orgurro! Na quesa que pasa en Lima Heights Adjacent? Cosas mal!"* This time was so close there was no space between them as she yelled in absolute fury. Santana was shaking in anger and ready to pounce when someone finally intervened and stepped between the two angry women, facing the hotheaded Latina head on.

"You need to move away from her before you do something you regret San. I know you're angry but remember what the chief told you last time. You can't show such blatant affection to Brittany and you can't be mad at Rachel for trying to keep you out of trouble. In fact you owe her an apology and you need to thank her for what she did. She was only looking out for you sincerely, not trying to pick a fight with you. She had every right to be indignant and defensive because you came at her verbally so she only dished it back San. So just let it go, okay? I don't like seeing you two butting heads like this because you're both very important to me as both my best friend and my partner." When Santana did nothing but continue to glare passed Quinn to Rachel Quinn changed tactics. "For me San? Will you let it go for me? She's my partner and you're my best friend … can you at least try to get along with her for my sake San, if not for anything else?" Santana looked away from Rachel and looked at Quinn who was practically pleading to her to look at her with her words alone.

What Santana saw caused her to soften almost immediately and she did the impossible, she apologized. "I'm sorry Berry. I … know you and Quinn are right to tell me off for openly showing my feelings here because the entire department could get in trouble for it. You … thank you for what you did for me today." Santana paused and her sincerity ran out as she spoke, "but you better not tell a single soul that I told you this, got it Berry?" Rachel looked a bit shell shocked that the Latina actually apologized to her and thanked her because she had been so insistent on being a stubborn bull over it. The threat at the end was just what she expected from her however.

Rachel was normally a very forgiving person but she wasn't sure if she could just put it behind her this time because Santana had been particularly bullheaded over this issue. As stubborn as the diva was when she was wrong she was wrong and she said as much. Santana had outright refused to admit that she was in the wrong and it was something that Rachel could not stand in other people. It was something she could not accept readily no matter who it was her senior in work or not. It was absolutely frustrating because then who could prove another wrong if they refused to admit something as simple as being in the wrong about something? She just stood silently, neither acknowledging nor denying that she had heard Santana.

Santana looked back at Rachel because she had been silent. She wasn't looking into her eyes when she apologized and thanked her so Rachel wondered how sincere she could possibly be under those circumstances. Quinn noticed this as well and she turned from her current position to face Rachel instead so she could see what she was thinking, see the expression on her face. What she saw made her heart ache for a reason she could not figure out. Rachel looked entirely upset and Quinn wanted to make it better, wanted to make her feel better. She didn't like seeing Rachel so upset if she could help it in some way.

She whispered softly into Rachel's ear, "what's wrong? Santana apologized and even thanked you. She never apologizes to others and so even getting an apology out of her is very rare. Why are you still so upset Rachel?" This fourth pronouncement of her name had her heart fluttering softly in its cage and she felt better without understanding the why and how of it. She wanted to hold on to her anger but she had no reason to when Quinn was being so gentle and kind to her.

She looked away at the face that she found most beautiful out of all of the people she had ever met in her life. Quinn wasn't just the prettiest, most beautiful woman she'd ever met but she was one of the most intelligent as well … perhaps even the most intelligent because of the fact that she was a prodigy with photographic and eidetic memory too. She was truly and easily the most intelligent individual Rachel had ever met and it surprised her how many qualities she found in Quinn that matched up with her checklist. She then remembered that she was supposed to give Quinn an answer because she had asked her a question … yes, a question. "I … it's just that I can't tell if Santana is sincere in the least because she wasn't looking at me when she apologized to me Quinn." She took a moment to take a deep breath and let it out slowly to calm herself down from her adrenaline. "I … I'm used to people looking at me when they're apologizing to me sincerely. I don't like it when someone doesn't follow in that category. It seems rather insincere to me when someone apologizes without looking me in the eyes."

Quinn chuckled in response and Rachel nearly took offense but she realized that Quinn wasn't the kind of person did offensive things to others. She merely found something amusing about the situation. "Santana never looks someone in the eyes when she apologizes sincerely because she feels ashamed for not just admitting to whatever in the first place. She can't seem to find it in herself to look directly at the person because of her guilt and shame over what transpired. I found out about this little personality flaw of hers years ago when we were much younger so I'm used to it. You should accept her apology because she's being as sincere as she can be and that is truly difficult for her. She's not used to being sincere in this way because she grew up in such a bad part of town. Where she lived it was difficult to grow up with morals alone because she grew up in such a poor and bad area. She may have been raised in wealth because of her doctor father but she still faced a lot of things discrimination and opposition as she grew up. She was treated terribly by others for knowing where she lived despite her family's wealth. It's not easy for her to warm up to others so easily and it's even more difficult when someone doesn't understand where she came from. She's not trying to be a bad person or mean in any way … it's just what she grew up with and knows. Everyone had that kind of in your face attitude in the Heights Adjacent so that's the only way she knows how to express her anger. If she had grown up in a different environment I'm sure she would have approached you in an entirely different way. Her own grandmother disowned her for being with another woman when she finally came out to her in high school. Her parents were okay with it but … her grandmother didn't take to it and she hasn't spoken to her since. Her grandmother told her to leave her house when she told her so now Santana holds people she doesn't know at arm's length. You just need to figure out who she is on your own and she'll respect you and come to trust you eventually. I know you can do it." Rachel had no idea how Quinn so easily calmed her down and managed to relate things to her in a way that made sense to her and appealed to her compassionate nature.

Rachel nodded her head and finally made eye contact with the Latina. "I accept your apology and apologize for the way I addressed you earlier." Santana gave her a raised eyebrow look when she failed to mention the last part of her clearly expressed worry. Rachel realized that she had left a single part out and rolled her eyes at her, "I won't tell anyone that you apologized and thanked me … I honestly think you let them know better than I did to be honest. There are quite a few officers watching our interaction with focused eyes despite the fact that none of them are standing around us in a circle. You were quite vocal about your protest and I'm sure some of them noticed that you looked apologetic only a few moments ago despite the fact that you had been so adamant about not having done anything wrong. And who knows … some of them might even be able to read lips well and read your lips clearly." Though Rachel accepted the apology that didn't mean she couldn't hold it over her head a little bit for all of the trouble the Latina caused.

Santana didn't look pleased but she accepted the dig without a single word in retaliation because she knew she deserved it. "Whatever, just don't go around actively saying something to the others about me apologizing and mushy stuff like that all right? I'd rather not let them know that I actually have a soft spot for Quinn as much as I've shown just now. They all know not to mess with Brit and Quinn if they don't want me on their case but they don't know the extent of how protective I am toward Quinn. They just know that we're best friends in this station … they don't know how much I truly care for Q though … they don't know that I'd die for her. They don't know that I'd kill anyone who hurt her, they only know that for Brittany and that's it. None of them know how important Quinn is to me because I didn't want them to let it on just in case someone goes rogue or is a dirty cop and they can use it against me. I especially don't want anyone to know because not everyone here is trustworthy." She paused before she said something that surprised Rachel greatly, "I only trust our inner circle and I don't trust anyone out of it. Our circle meaning Quinn, Britt, Sam, Puck, Mike, Tina, Kurt, Mercedes, Will, Sue, and now you. As much as I dislike how you talk and make fun of your short height … I know you can be trusted. I don't trust anyone else outside of this circle here.

Rachel hadn't expected to hear from Santana herself that she trusted anyone outside of Quinn and Brittany let alone her. It was one thing for her to say that she trusted these people she had been working with for half a year and longer but another thing entirely to say she trusted her because she'd only known her for ten days. Nine days technically since she wasn't introduced to everyone until her second day because the first day she was situated in the station and was shown where everything was. She never thought she would hear that kind of thing from the Latina since they had been butting heads with each other since they first met essentially. In fact it was expected for her to feel so profoundly shocked by such an admission on Santana's part. It was akin to having a rug slide out from underneath one self and not being able to grab onto anything as a life jacket. Although Rachel was deeply surprised she was also extremely flattered by such a thought, as flooring as it was. The Latina trusted her despite the fact that she disliked her to a certain degree. That was one of the most obsequious things she had ever heard in her life and she wasn't sure how to handle that thought. She knew that despite Santana's dislike for her she would have her back because she trusted her and she felt triumphant over knowing that. It seemed even Quinn was surprised by hearing that her hotheaded friend trusted the brunette diva already. She hadn't expected her friend to trust her so easily this soon considering her nature. Then again it was easy to tell what kind of person Rachel was since she was who she was without apology and very openly.

"Well that was unexpected," Quinn muttered under her breath and Rachel, due to her proximity to her, heard her clearly and muttered her agreement.

"You're telling me," Rachel murmured under her breath. Neither of them had expected it to come from the Latina considering how much she teased her.

Brittany suddenly came into the picture and took hold of Santana's arm and pulled her away from the partners and whispered something in her ear which got her to giggle. Santana Lopez actually giggled and Rachel couldn't think of anything else that might be stranger than hearing such a sound. Considering she only ever saw Santana's bad side whenever Santana interacted with her, her finding it strange wasn't exactly unwarranted. It was in fact something she considered a sight rarer than a smiling Quinn and that was rare enough as it was. She had only seen little more than a handful of small smiles from Quinn and even less of her true, radiant smiles. This was in fact the first time she had ever heard the Latina giggle. Sure, she had heard her chuckle a time or two but she was usually scowling in some fashion one way or another when she was around her and she smiled or smirked most of the time. Her smiles didn't always indicate happiness and amusement sometimes it meant that she was thoroughly enjoying torturing … ahem, teasing someone about something. Rachel could just tell that it would be an interesting few months here and that she was going to find it a bit difficult to settle down with all of these things to take care of. There was one last thing she hadn't been expecting.

Several minutes after things had finally settled down one Finn Hudson was asking to speak with her privately. He hadn't said those exact words but she would think of it that way.

"Okay I know this seems kind of sudden but … um … well … would you like to go out to dinner with me sometime … or something like that? I noticed you a while ago but I wasn't able to work up the courage to ask until now … so um … will you?" Finn asked nervously.

Rachel was rather shell shocked by this bomb because she hadn't been expecting anything of this magnitude from the awkward giant. First of all this was his first time speaking to her since she was introduced to him and then he only muttered out a barely audible hello to her. This most certainly wasn't the case now but he still had difficulty articulating his thoughts into words.

"Um … I … uh," Rachel didn't know what to say. "It is rather sudden I must say but … I'm not opposed to the idea as long as you have something more definite in mind." She truly wasn't opposed to it but something felt strange and heavy in her chest as she spoke the words of acceptance to him, albeit reluctantly so.

"Oh? Really? That's great! I'll have something planned for the weekend if you're free then Rachel!" He couldn't hide his puppy like excitement and she wasn't sure why she didn't feel anything when she found it adorable. Perhaps it was because she just didn't know him yet.

"Just tell me what the plans are and we can meet up wherever it is you'd like to eat with me." Her chest constricted with protest as she said the words and she wondered why her heart was acting so strangely.

"Great! I'll tell you all of the details tomorrow! I know we're going to have tons of fun!" He said excitedly. "I'll see you around Rachel!" He said with a slight wave. She waved back but her chest felt strange for some reason. Unknown to Rachel Quinn had seen and heard the whole exchange and was wholly unhappy about it. Quinn wasn't sure why she was unhappy about it but she was entirely so and she didn't like it one bit. Was it jealousy brewing in her heart or was it the hatred she harbored for Finn that caused her to feel so unhappy about him courting her partner like that? She wasn't sure what the answer was but she quickly tried to hide it behind her cold mask when Rachel came back.

"Well that was certainly strange." Rachel said as she sat down at her desk.

"What was?" Quinn asked coldly, mask firmly in place.

"Well … Finn asked me out to dinner … what happened, Quinn?" Rachel asked with concern. "You were fine just a moment ago. What happened while I was speaking to Finn? Did something happen to upset you?" Quinn was silent before she shook her head and left it at that. Rachel was curious about why Quinn seemed so upset but she didn't want her to become upset with her if she pushed her for answers. Her day just kept becoming stranger and stranger it seemed. She wondered what would happen next. She wondered if there were still more … _interesting_ things to come before the day was done because there were still several hours left before the work day was over. They still needed to solve this case too for that matter so she went back to work on it.

So here's the next chapter at just over 6,000 words and I hope it was just as enjoyable and interesting as the last chapter! Reviews are nice and motivational things!^^

*This was from Season 2 Episode 22 when Santana loses it. I can't be quoted because I wrote from what I heard and it might not be 100% accurate. Sorry for those read this already because I forgot to add this bit last night.

姫宮光る


	4. The Chase

Chapter 4

The Chase

She was breathing heavily as she ran after her partner. She really needed to get back into shape like when she was in high school. It wasn't as if she was a terrible runner now but she was nowhere near her level when she had been a cheerleader at William McKinley High School, she had even been captain despite her young age. Where was her Cheerios spirit now? Certainly not with her now as she ran and breathed the cold night air in harshly. She ran as fast as she could after her partner as they both ran after their suspect. They were running through neighborhoods and people's backyards as their prime suspect ran for his life, for all he was worth. He was showing the international sign of guilt the moment they spotted him lurking in someone's front yard. They had been looking around the neighborhood for signs of him when he just ran for it and then the chase began. And that was how she came to where she was now.

Rachel was much faster than she had anticipated her being, especially considering her short stature. She, apparently, had a quick reaction time and started after him before Quinn even registered that he was running from them. It was only a split second later that she started running after Rachel as fast as she could. Rachel, in that split second reaction, was already a yard ahead of her or so when she started reacting and running after them both. She hadn't been anticipating such a move so suddenly but Rachel appeared to be ready for anything as she ran at top speed after their suspect with speed that even Sue Sylvester would be impressed with considering her height. She was apparently someone who kept herself in very good shape from what Quinn could see and she found herself thinking of Rachel with newfound respect.

If not for the fact that they were running in a neighborhood they would have pulled their guns out to maim him. But because they were in a neighborhood it wasn't safe for them to even take them out of their holster just in case they went off and a civilian was hurt. It may have been dark but they didn't know if there were children camping outside of their homes or if there was someone working on something at night despite the low visibility. They couldn't risk hurting someone because that would be a casualty when there shouldn't have been any risk of one and it was against protocol to do something so dangerously risky. Neither could afford the risk of hurting a civilian on the off chance that they were outside in their backyard for whatever reason.

Quinn was desperate to catch him because this was the man potentially responsible for so many deaths and she could not let him get away. There was no reason she could think of as to why he would run if not this one thing, this one obvious thing; he was guilty. They had to catch him and make sure that nothing further happened, no more bodies came up. He was the reason she came into this field, became an officer of the law. She became a police officer because she wanted to do something, to make a difference in this world. She wanted to do good by catching those who were doing wrong; she wanted to make the world a better place for those living in it. It was her passion to find the wrong doers and put them somewhere most of them would never come out of again for what they had done. She wanted to bring justice to the innocents that criminals hurt by doing evil things to their loved ones. She shook her head and concentrated on her breathing and running.

She knew that when she got home today she would definitely start running on her treadmill again because this was a ridiculous chase. They had been running for at least ten minutes to try and keep up with this guy and they were still trailing behind him by several feet under a yard because he had several feet as a head start before them. He had been about a yard away when he started running as fast as he could away from them. He was a thin man and he was fast, his height only helping him in escaping.

There was a burning in her lungs and thighs, her heart was beating quickly, her breath was coming out in quick, short puffs of air as she ran after this man with no name. She was just a few feet behind Rachel now as she urged herself on. She tried to control her breathing even more so now so she wasn't panting as harshly and out of control. She didn't want her defect to become a problem during this crucial time, during the chase after someone who had a guilty conscience. She was just a few steps behind her now. She was gaining on both of them as the chase continued on. Quinn tried to channel her younger, cheerleading self, and pulled ahead of Rachel in a matter of moments and she lunged at their suspect, landing on top of him in a heap. She managed to jam cuffs on him before he could get out from underneath her slight frame. He struggled despite the fact that she had him pinned underneath her.

Rachel came up just behind her panting only slightly from the 18 minute run, "You're coming with us to the station for an interrogation." And with that she knelt down to help Quinn with the struggling man. He was moving around desperately to get try and loosen their strong grip on him so he could continue running until he was free of them but they held on tightly. They weren't letting him away after he had them chasing after him for nearly 20 minutes because he gave himself away by running in the first place. "Let's go Fabray." And with that they walked back the way came and it was a long walk back to where they started.

When they got back to the station he was moving desperately, almost hysterically. He hadn't been calm in the car but he hadn't been this frantic either. It was like he had just had the realization of where they were taking him because he was absolutely frantic with his need to get out of their custody. They held onto him tightly to make sure he couldn't run away from them as they walked him to an interrogation room. They were sure they had garnered some attention because of his frenzied behavior as they brought him into the station and finally sat him down in an interrogation room with a burly police officer stationed in front of it. "Make sure he doesn't run away Karofsky. We're counting on you to watch him and make sure he doesn't leave the station while we go file a report." Rachel had said with authority in her voice as they left Interrogation Room A behind.

The moment Rachel sat down at her desk Kurt Hummel seemed to materialize from out of nowhere next to her. "Well that was quite an entrance you made there if I do say so myself Rachel Barbra Berry." He took a moment to appraise her before he spoke again, "you sure do know how to make quite an entrance, looking all bad-ass while handling a hysterical suspect on one arm and having _the_ blonde bombshell Quinn Fabray on the other. I think you just made the best entrance in all of this police station's history just like that. You should have seen how everyone was looking at the both of you while you dragged that hysterical man in. I didn't know handling suspects and criminals could be sexy but you just proved me wrong." And Kurt was entirely right because justice just became sexy with the way Quinn and Rachel had dragged the frantic man in, looking like they were just walking down a runway the way they had been walking. He struggled and they barely batted an eyelash in response to his frenzied movements.

"Daaaaaaamn girls!" Another voice coming from a desk spoke this time. "You two looked more like models walking a catwalk than cops apprehending a suspect and bringing him into the station for questioning you know? You two sure know how to make heads turn!" Mercedes voice was heard easily in the bustling station because that woman knew how to throw her voice around.

Quinn's face was impassive and so Rachel felt it was up to her to speak for the both of them. "We were just bringing in an apprehended suspect Mercedes, nothing more nothing less." Rachel felt completely flattered though to hear such compliments coming from the other two divas in the station. It wasn't everyday one was told that they made an entrance and appeared to be cool and model-like in the way one walked into a police station … especially not with a bombshell like Quinn Fabray. "I do appreciate the sentiment however Kurt and Mercedes. Maybe in a past life Quinn and I were models and it reflects somehow in this life?" Rachel wasn't sure where she stood with reincarnation theories but she was absolutely fascinated by the subject and how the theories came about from millennia ago. She was particularly fascinated by the Chinese mythologies behind it and the folklore she'd read about them. She was particularly fascinated by the red string of destiny that Mike and Tina had told her about. Having a destined lover sounded so romantic and Rachel loved romance, if her secret collection of romance novels at home was any indication.

Quinn actually snorted, managing to do so gracefully somehow, and commented on it, a rare thing for her to do, "I think someone has been spending too much time around Mike and Tina. They are the only ones who talk about that after all … it is part of their culture and all I suppose." Quinn added the last part as a spoken thought.

Rachel wasn't sure what she thought about how Quinn said that she was spending too much time around Mike and Tina. She decided to not take offense to it though. "They have such interesting things to talk about Quinn. How can I not listen?" Quinn, for her part, just rolled her eyes and walked to her desk without another word.

Rachel and Quinn were both utterly frustrated. This guy wasn't talking even though it had been over an hour since they first started questioning him and kept looking forward at the table even as they questioned him. "Tell us why you ran from us like that now, _please_!" Rachel nearly yelled. They were both getting impatient with this silent man. He had run from them in the first place and they were both almost absolutely certain that he was who they were looking for because his face matched with the sketch well.

He finally looked up from the table and he said slowly and softly, so softly Rachel and Quinn had to strain to hear his words, "I'm not who you're looking for." He said no more after that. There was an almost deathly silence that followed what he had said because they were both stunned that when he chose to speak that was all he said.

"If you're not who we're looking for then why did you run from us. You had us chasing after you like the death hounds of hell were on your heels. If you aren't guilty of what we think you are then why did you run away like a culpable man? Running away from the police is the universal sign of guilt after all. At least tell us why you ran if you're not who we're looking for." When Quinn was met with silence she brought out her HBIC Fabray persona. "I know you know who did it." She hissed out in a voice that had shivers running down the once stoic man's body. He visibly flinched when she came to stand next to him to speak in a soft, deadly voice, "I know it wasn't you because of the panic you showed when you saw us. You knew we were on your trail … or rather the trail of the person you're protecting." She hissed, sending more shivers down his spine from how dangerous and absolutely lethal her voice now sounded. "You're only hurting yourself and your loved one more by doing this. You're allowing _innocent_ lives to be taken away before their time is up. You're just as bad as a _murderer_ even if you're protecting your family." Quinn had sensed that this man was telling the truth when he said he wasn't who they were looking for but she also knew from what information they had on him that he only had one family member: his sister. There wasn't anything in her file that reported her as a schizophrenic but Quinn suspected that she was.

The suspect, Harry Malone, gulped passed a hard lump in his throat at the mention and emphasis on the words _innocent_ and _murderer_. He stiffened at the mention of his sister, his body language giving him away more than his words. "I … I-I don't know what you're talking about." He stuttered out nervously. He was so obvious it was almost painful to watch. It broke Rachel's heart a little because she understood the need to protect one's family fiercely no matter the consequences. She wanted to show empathy but she knew she couldn't so she sympathized instead to gain this man's trust.

"Look Harry," she said softly, "I understand your need to protect your sister. She's your only family … but you can't let this continue on, you can't keep helping her and protecting her like this. She's hurting other people because of her untreated schizophrenia from what we've gathered. Allowing her to continue on this destructive path is only going to hurt her further. We can _help_ her if you _help_ us by cooperating so she can get the help she needs. She's mentally ill, she needs help. Don't you want to help your sister in any way you can? She's your only family and the only way she can get help is if she comes in. The legal system can send her to a mental hospital so they can help her." Rachel paused to let all of this set in, for him to take it all in. "We aren't trying to hurt her. She needs help that she isn't getting right now. Please, please tell us where she is so we can find her. I promise that we will plead for her case, that we will find her the help she needs … all we need now is your help and cooperation." Rachel implored gently. It seemed to work and he nodded his head slowly silent tears flowing down his cheeks slowly.

He finally looked up from the table and looked right into Rachel's eyes and she was struck by how sad and broken he looked. There was resignation in his eyes and she looked back with a sympathetic gaze. Quinn had since backed off to stand beside him instead of leaning in to hiss into his ear with that dangerous voice that frankly frightened him. He nodded. When he spoke his voice was soft and trembled with the weight of his words, "o-okay … I … I-I'll … I'll tell you … just … please make sure that she … she isn't put in jail … she … she doesn't belong there. I tried to help her and for years … for years she was okay. For years she hadn't shown any symptoms because she was taking her meds … but … for some reason she just stopped or forgot or something. It was six weeks ago when I first noticed that something was off with her … it was … she was talking to herself, having full conversations with herself. At first I would only hear her say something once in a while and I thought she was just saying something to herself until it became full conversations. I don't think anything started happening until maybe two or three weeks ago though … the killing I mean to say. I was looking for her when you saw me because … I wanted to stop her this time before something happened. I don't know where she is right now but I … I'll tell you where the other bodies are. I've been looking for them and leaving trails for other people to notice them." He was silent for a moment before he spoke up again, "am I going to go to jail?" He asked with a quiet voice, vulnerable.

Quinn and Rachel exchanged glances and they spoke a silent language with their eyes alone. Quinn answered when they finished their few seconds communication, "we'll plead your case because you were cooperative and also because you tried to stop your sister. For that we can at least guarantee that you won't be in for obstruction of justice or accessory to murder. I'm afraid that's about all we can do for you. Your sister … she will most likely be sent to a mental institute to help stabilize her and get her on her meds again. She wasn't in the right state of mind when she committed these murders and she will be tried as such. Unfortunately she will have to go to trial no matter what but hopefully they will understand your situation and let you off easily. You … I understand that protecting one's family is something that takes a lot of courage." Quinn had no inflection when she spoke but there were emotions swirling in her eyes when she spoke that Rachel could see. "Good luck to you Mr. Malone."

The moment they were on the other side of the door Rachel advanced. "Why did you have to speak to him so harshly Quinn? It was absolutely unnecessary and a bit cruel of you to do that. I'll admit if he had been a criminal it might have been more appropriate and acceptable but he's … he's just a civilian! He's a poor man who was just trying to protect his only family. Your behavior at the end of it was much more appropriate and gentle at least. I understand that I'm new but you scared the poor man so much I think he might have been ready to pee himself in fright of you. I've never seen this side of you before Quinn. You've been unreadable and unapproachable but never … so frightening." Rachel was quietly admonishing her in a way that made Quinn's temper flare the slightest but she didn't visibly show it.

"Sometimes you have to throw cold, hard facts at them to get them to talk. Sometimes the only way to make someone talk is by telling them what they're doing, how they're hurting others. In some cases it might sound cruel but what they're doing is worse by withholding information. They're silence gives another family a body to bury Berry. Remember that." Quinn then pushed passed her without another word, her face hard and impossible to read.

Rachel stood completely thrown and dumbfounded by what had just transpired between them. Quinn … she had never spoken to her like that before, so frankly and briskly. Rachel didn't know what to make of it because she had thought that the blonde was kind if not a bit guarded. She had no idea what to make of this … chat, talk, word, interlude? She just knew that there had never been a situation like this between them before and she didn't like it.

They were the last ones in the station now that Santana, Brittany, Mike, Tina, Kurt, and Mercedes had left. They had been there the longest other than the two now alone in the police station. Rachel couldn't take the silence anymore and asked the question that had been plaguing her mind since their … 'talk,' she would go with, earlier. "Quinn … why do you … why are you … what I mean to say is … you didn't seem like yourself earlier when we spoke. You're normally much gentler and kinder when you talk to me. You don't have that cold, hard edge like when you talk to other people … mainly Finn, Puck, though sometimes you do show a certain fondness for him, Sam, Mercedes, Kurt, Mike, Tina, and Finn. Sue is your boss and you don't give her the cold shoulder but at the same time she doesn't receive the warmth that Brittany and Santana do. Will is like a father figure to everyone here from what I've seen of everyone so there is a distinct difference in the way you treat him but you don't give him quite the same warm as Brittany and Santana. You hold everyone at a distance that you aren't willing to bridge and the station's psychologist agreed with me when I spoke to her last about you. I only asked her if she felt that you were guarded in passing," Rachel added quickly at the look of shock that passed over the normally stoic blonde's face.

There was absolute silence for a time as Quinn just stared at a spot on her desk and her face was pensive. There were both silent for several moments before Quinn finally bridged the silence and spoke up. "So what you're trying to figure out is … why I was so cold to you earlier and why I am so distant from others around me other than Brittany and Santana? That's what you want to know?" Rachel nodded her head in the affirmative once and silence followed that sentence. Quinn looked impassive as she sat opposite her partner. Rachel couldn't read a single emotion on her face because it was so smooth and emotionless, a perfect mask that Quinn had perfected easily having grown up in the environment she had. For a few moments longer the silence persisted and Rachel become more and more uncomfortable in the silence she felt she created. "Why are you trying so hard to analyze me? Why are you so interested in figuring me out?" Quinn's voice held no intonation whatsoever, not a single inflection for Rachel to go off with. Quinn was leaving Rachel in the dark in more ways than one.

"I'm not … trying to figure you out per se … I'm just … I'm completely mystified by you. You're an enigma and I can almost never read your emotions. The only time I've really, _truly_ communicated with you was earlier in the interrogation room. That was the only time I was truly able to understand you and that is because you put the fortress with terrifying mythical creatures guarding it, a moat, dangerous creatures of the sea, and a barrier over that guarding your emotions. In order for partners to work well together they have to be able to understand each other and read each other's every thought, emotion, and mood. I … I'm going to be frank with you; I can see why your past partners left you. You were too hard for them to figure out and it makes people uncomfortable when they can't understand why someone does what they do. If they never see emotions from another person they grow uneasy and they can't find it in themselves to be around someone so completely unapproachable, cold." Even throughout Rachel's speech not a single emotion flitted across the apathetic blonde's face.

There was another uncomfortable silence between them yet again as Rachel tried to read something, anything, on the blonde's face that might give away what she was thinking. Rachel absolutely hated silence more than anything else and right now the silence was killing her. "Stop analyzing me," Rachel let out a small gasp at the unexpected voice. She had thought that the blonde wasn't going to respond entirely and so the sharp, hard voice commanding her surprised her greatly. "I'm not your patient, I'm not a mentally ill, and I don't have any problems that you need to try to fix … so … _stop_ analyzing _me_." Though the blonde had emphasized certain words in the sentence her tone didn't inflect anything nor did her face give anything away. "I'll tell you this much though since it might quell some of your … more pressing questions and help you realize that I really don't want you to try to probe me … I don't trust anyone unconditionally. The only people who are close to me and almost have unconditional trust from me is Santana and Brittany." She paused before she stood from her seat, "I'll be going now. Have a good night Berry."

Rachel was left in a stunned heap, unsure what to make of this talk they had. Quinn didn't trust her … didn't really trust anybody for that matter. Did that mean that she didn't even trust her family? She hadn't mentioned them in the circle of people she trusted so that had to mean something. Rachel didn't really think she was trying to pry … but perhaps that was how she was coming off to the blonde. She would have to apologize when they saw each other tomorrow. Quinn had implied that she did have problems earlier and Rachel had picked up on that immediately. With her eidetic tonal memory Rachel couldn't help but remember every word she had heard pass by Quinn's lips. It was a burden on Rachel, not being able to forget a word anyone had ever spoken to her. Some things people could forget she could not un-hear certain things in her life which she wish she could bleach from her memory … a particular night when she came home to her fathers for one. That was a night that she was unfortunately scarred with for eternity.

Why did it seem like just when they started to gain some grounds in terms of getting to know each other Quinn pulled away, as if burned by the mere presence of another? Quinn had opened up to her just a five days ago … but it seemed like for every step forward she took with Quinn … she ended up taking five back in understanding the complex blonde. The one thing she knew for certain about the blonde's disposition was that she was an analytical person. She was constantly analyzing every situation, every spoken word. Sometimes she would spend so much time analyzing her face actually showed that she was thinking instead of the smooth, aloof mask she put on whenever someone else entered the equation. There were times when it almost seemed like she was going to open up but then she would pull away again, defenses becoming ten times stronger. What was it that had Quinn so scared? Why did Quinn seem so hell bent on not having anyone figuring her out? She had all of her friends and coworkers figured out like the profiler she was. Yet in the same turn she wouldn't let anyone else analyze her, get to know her … just become someone she trusted.

Rachel packed up her things and left the empty station for her quaint apartment. When she started her car her own voice could be heard singing her go to song: _Don't Rain On My Parade_. Her soft but strong melodious voice soothed her as she drove back to her apartment. By the time she got back to her apartment the songs Cry, Defying_ Gravity_, _Don't Cry For Me Argentina_, _Here's To Us_, and _Roots Before Branches_ played out. She had everything on her CD in alphabetical order other than _Don't Rain On My Parade_. That song would always be her number one so it was reserved as the first song on any CD she made for herself. And after that first song she had everything in alphabetical order because her slight OCD wouldn't let her do things any other way.

She walked into her apartment and was greeted by her best friend and boyfriend and a sight that shocked her to her very core. "Rachel! I … I didn't know you would be home so early … this isn't … this isn't what it looks like!" But it was far too late. Rachel had run out of the apartment at the sight that beheld her when she came home. She was so disgusted, so absolutely torn and disgusted. She couldn't believe that he would do that to her. The image of him with his head thrown back in pleasure while some guy sucked him off was burned into her mind. She knew that it had to be because she wouldn't have sex with him. She refused to have sex with anyone of her past boyfriends because she wanted to wait for the right person. She did on occasion do something else for him however: blow jobs. She never allowed it to go further than that though and the only reason she was comfortable with that was because she had no gag reflex … that coupled with the fact that she had amazing breath control made for a happy Jesse St. James.

Her boyfriend hadn't been honest with her even though they had been together since high school. She had heard rumors in high school that he had been with other guys before her but … he had denied that he was attracted to men. Now she knew differently. He had lied to her for so many years and now she couldn't help the feeling of crushing heart ache she was feeling. She drove aimlessly until she found herself back at the station. She didn't want to go to her father's house because she didn't want them to know. They had told her time and again that she shouldn't trust him because they knew there was something he was hiding from her. They couldn't tell her what though because they themselves didn't know what it was exactly but there was something about him that they just couldn't trust. Now she realized that it must have been their gay-dar going off because they were both gay men. They must not have realized that he was gay, or bi, on a subconscious level but must not have connected the dots together.

She had just been sitting in her car when she heard a knock that startled her out of her thoughts. She gasped out loudly, nearly screaming, and turned to the passenger side of her car. She struggled to see who it was in the limited light but she knew who it was after a moment. "Quinn?" She whispered. She pulled her passenger side window down. "What are you doing here Quinn?" Rachel asked hesitantly, uncertain and so very sad.

Quinn just looked at her for a moment before she answered with something Rachel didn't recognize in her voice, "why are you crying in your car all alone?" Rachel looked away from the hazel eyes questioning her. She was just silent for a moment before she spoke up again. "I … I'm … s-s … I'm … sorry about earlier. I came back because I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, almost as if apologizing pained her. "You don't have to te—"

"—my boyfriend cheated on me … with another man." She uttered out the first part of her sentence quickly and the last part was muttered softly, a defeated admittance for the brunette. "I … I don't want to go back to my apartment because he'll still be there. I know he won't come looking for me here since he'll probably think I've gone to my father's house. This will be the last place he'll think of to look for me. Well he doesn't know where to look for me since we're new to this part of the city. I … I don't want to see him ever again … I should have known that he was too good to be true … he was the perfect best friend. He … would always compliment me about how I looked when I dressed up and things like that. He's good at cooking, he knows how to clean around the house, he knows how to dress well … he really was just too good to be true." Rachel looked down at her hands; lost in the feelings of sorrow she was drowning in, feeling stupid for not realizing sooner that something was wrong with her relationship with her boyfriend. He had never initiated kisses with her, he always avoided touching her intimately even if it was just holding hands, he never reacted when she dressed in front of him … there were just too signs she didn't take the time see.

There was silence between them for a time, a comfortable one for once, before Quinn's soft, smoky voice spoke up, "it's not your fault. I can see on your face that you're blaming yourself for never picking up on the little things that should have shouted something at you, screamed that he wasn't into you. There is something that happens to be a fact of life: there are _always_ little things that people don't pick up on the little signs in life, that all lead to big lies when loved ones are involved, when they're involved. I … I know what a shock it can be when you realize that they've lied to you for so long about something you questioned occasionally because you sensed it. It just so happens that sometimes they don't mean to lie and just don't know how to tell you something so difficult … so heavy and draining, and so they lie to you to protect you. He probably didn't know how to bring it up and he might not have come to the realization until after a long while after you started dating. I'm not trying to say he should have hidden it behind your back at all, not at all. I'm not trying to excuse him for his infidelity … I'm just trying to explain to you that this might be why he didn't tell you immediately. He must have been insecure and unsure." What Quinn was saying made so much sense to Rachel and she almost felt sorry for Jesse but … after what she saw and would never be able to forget she knew she wouldn't be able to forgive … yet.

Rachel nodded her head in understanding and acceptance. "I … what you say makes sense to me and … I think I understand what you're saying. He … well he first started dating me my senior year of high school and there were a lot of rumors going around that he was gay then. He had dated a few other girls before he dated me so I thought nothing of it but they were persistent so one day I asked him if there was any truth to it and he told me that there wasn't. He told me that there was nothing I should be worried about and I believed him. I brought him home with me before so my fathers could get to know him and there was something about him that they didn't like … well didn't trust I should say. There was something about him that confused them. I guess it was their gay-dar since they are gay men after all. There was something in their subconscious that told them not to trust him but they didn't realize it on a conscious level because if they did they would have told me. So now I'm going to stay here and sleep in my car since I don't want to go back to my fathers right now." She put her head against the steering wheel of the car but her head jerked up abruptly and she turned so quickly she nearly gave herself whiplash at what the blonde standing outside of her car said.

"You can stay with me if you want to Rachel." She also noted that Quinn had used her first name as opposed to the formal 'Berry' as was the norm for the police. It wasn't protocol to call each other by last name but it was something that most of the police did as principle. "I mean … if you don't have anywhere to stay then you can stay with me. It's not a big deal since you're my partner and you need a place to stay." It was singlehandedly the kindest thing Quinn had ever done for Rachel and Rachel could sense that though her apology was difficult she really did sincerely mean it.

She wanted to say so much but there was only one thing she truly needed to say. "Thank you." And that was all she needed to say because Quinn understood.

Quinn tipped her head in acknowledgement before she spoke again. "Do you want to ride in my car or do you want to drive in yours separately?" She tilted her head to the side in question and Rachel found that to be the most adorable thing she had ever seen Quinn do. It was somehow endearing to see her tilt her head like a little confused puppy.

"I think I'll drive my car if you don't mind Quinn. Thank you for the offer though." Rachel said with a smile. Quinn shrugged and walked over to her car and they were on their way to Quinn's house.

They had no idea what was waiting for them when they had to spend the night together. There was one thing for certain though, they would both be unsure around each other and things would most likely be awkward between them. Things would definitely stay interesting between them though, Rachel was sure of it.

So here's the fourth chapter and my sincerest apologies for the wait. I've been working on another fanfic lately so I have to split time between writing these two stories. I'll at least update once every two weeks instead of once a week now because I'm working on this other story called Losing Your Memory. Please check it out if you're interested in seeing what's keeping me from writing new chapters weekly.^^

姫宮光る


	5. Down

Chapter 5

Down

It was an awkward situation to say the least. Neither one knew how to interact with the other in such a strange and new environment between them. Quinn lived in a condominium that appeared far too extravagant for a police officer, no matter how high in the ranks they were. Rachel had been in awe of the beautiful, profligate, and spacious condominium that Quinn was residing in and she was still in a bit of awe now as she sat down on one of her decadent living room loveseats. The entrance had been wonderfully made with magnificent designs covering it in splendor. There were intricate designs surrounding the entrance that had Rachel wondering just how Quinn could possibly afford such an extravagant living space meant for someone with great wealth. She was especially curious because she knew that Quinn's salary could not be so great that she was able to afford such decadent housing such as this.

There was an amazing entertainment system in the middle of the living room with a flat screen TV, surround sound speakers, a few game systems, and a generous collection of DVDs, CDs, and games that had Rachel's eyes threatening to leave their socket upon discovery. She had never seen such a beautifully decorated and expensive looking abode before. Her family was by no means poor, her fathers were a doctor and lawyer respectively after all, but for someone to live in a condominium like this with a policewoman's salary? It seemed to be entirely impossible. It was like seeing someone who looked homeless living in a mansion. Despite the extravagant feel to the room there was a homey, lived in feel to it. It felt like an actual home to her somehow despite its appearance.

Rachel walked further into the spacious condominium to see a magnificently made kitchen full of beautiful wood for cabinets and countertops a brilliant shade of bright green that really brought out Quinn's eye color. As she looked between the countertop and Quinn's eyes she couldn't help but feel a little mesmerized by how they drew attention to the gorgeous hazel of Quinn's irises. There was no wall serving as a barrier between the kitchen and living room and in the space separating the two rooms there was a medium sized dining table with enough chairs to accommodate eight people total. There was even an island in the middle of the kitchen with stools surrounding it so there were plenty of places for guests to sit and relax and enjoy whatever host Quinn cooked. There was so much to this sizable condominium that Rachel's head was spinning from just seeing all of this beautifully decorated space.

When Rachel finally managed to close her open mouthed awe and manage speech again she spoke to Quinn in a soft tone bordering a whisper, "this is … just absolutely incredible Quinn." Rachel let out in awe. "How can you possibly afford living in such a high end area? I know that your salary as a policewoman is not nearly enough to cover the cost of even a quarter of this room so how are you living in this place Quinn?" Rachel was more than a little shell shocked to see such an extravagant living space for her partner.

Quinn merely shrugged before responding with a nonchalant tone of voice, "I had a scholarship to go to college so whatever money my parents had set aside for me when I was first born went to pay for this. They honestly had been expecting to pay for several hundred thousand dollars for my education so they set aside somewhere around $300, 000 or so for me. So here I am, living in a condominium for rich snobby people." Quinn said it in a tone that left Rachel wondering if she resented herself. There was barely any intonation but there was enough, despite how slight and nearly unnoticeable it was, there to suggest such a thing but no absolute proof of it. Rachel decided to file that bit of information away just in case she needed it for whatever reason in the future. "Well … um, are you hungry or anything? I can cook you something if you want?" Quinn said to break up the awkward silence that had befallen them.

Rachel hesitated for a moment over Quinn's offer before she asked meekly, "do you have any vegan friendly food in your house? I mean it's perfectly fine if you don't because I'm sure I can manage somehow if you don't." Rachel added the last part quickly when Quinn's eyebrow rose in what appeared to be thoughtfulness.

"Well I'm sure I can make some vegan friendly salad since I do eat vegetarian friendly dishes on occasion and I just happen to have some ingredients for that kind of dish now. I'll go make you a salad. Do you like any particular kind of dressing with your salad?" Quinn asked Rachel as she got to her feet elegantly despite her exhausted frame.

Rachel thought it over for a moment before she answered, "I do like Italian dressing quite a bit if you happen to have that?" Rachel asked with a small smile, bordering on hopeful, on her face.

Quinn answered her with a silent nod before walking into the kitchen with a task in mind. She looked through her shiny, steel grey refrigerator for the fresh iceberg lettuce she had bought just the day before as well as some tomatoes, green peppers, onions, and cucumbers. She grabbed a lime after setting all of the other vegetables down from her arms, having had no room for them earlier. She came back into the living room to address Rachel, "are you okay with tomatoes, green peppers, onions, and cucumbers in your salad Rachel?" Her voice wasn't cold but neither was it warm. It made Rachel curious about her yet again but she didn't say anything about the thoughts invading her mind. Rachel nodded wordlessly much like Quinn had only moments earlier and Quinn went back to the kitchen to cut all of the vegetables up when Rachel indicated her approval.

Quinn was a bit of a chef from what Rachel could tell from hearing her cut up the vegetables. She was quick and efficient and once again Rachel's curiosity got the better of her and she went to watch Quinn at work. She saw that Quinn was cutting the cucumbers and they way she did it was so graceful and the presentation was magnificent for them. She could see that they were all wet from having been washed. Quinn had cut off small bits of the cucumber's skin in a pattern that made them look all the more appetizing and she cut a single line in the middle before cutting them into thin slices at a speed that showed that this was something she had done perhaps often and well in her youth. It seemed that Quinn was also a bit of a culinary genius as well and her portfolio just kept becoming more and more amazing. She was a child prodigy who seemed to excel in every aspect from what Rachel could see.

When Quinn was finished cutting the vegetables she threw them into a bowl in a way so that they weren't all in one spot and then moved on to a different vegetable. Rachel couldn't help standing where she was to watch this amazing woman work on what she believed would be a delicious salad. When she had finished cutting up all of the vegetables she cut the lime in half and then into quarters before taking one and squeezing it over large bowl of salad. She then walked over to a cupboard to get a grinder with pepper grounds inside and sprinkled them over the salad. It was simple looking but she was sure it would taste heavenly since Quinn appeared to be a high caliber chef from what Rachel saw of her only moments ago. When the blonde finally noticed the brunette her cheeks turned a little pink from having not realized that she was there until just that moment. "How long have you been standing there for, Rachel?" Rachel found it entirely endearing that the blonde was embarrassed by the fact that she had had an audience watching her make a meal.

"I've only been standing here since you started cutting cucumbers. Don't worry though … I … well I can cook but it appears to me that you must be a culinary genius along with everything else you are already extremely gifted with. Let's see … you are a child prodigy who graduated high school by the age of 14, you are a high caliber chef, you have a photographic and eidetic memory, you can sing … what is there that you can't do Quinn? Not to mention you also have a spotless looking condominium so that also makes you a very clean and neat person. I think I … well I should say I _know_ instead of I _think_ since it is something I know for certain. Anyway I know that you are someone I've come to have the utmost respect for as well as someone I like greatly. You are a bit of an enigma to me but all the same I like you as the person I'm slowly learning more and more about and I think that we are good partners. You aren't the easiest person to get close to but I trust you indefinitely and I respect you for everything you've done for this police station and for the people who have become a second family to you. I admire you for what you told me and for how you refuse to go to other, better offers in other cities and states. You really are … you're as close to perfect as I've ever seen in this world of imperfection, not that I'm trying to tell you you're perfect. Everyone has faults and you're no exception to that rule but you try your hardest and that's what makes you perfect to me." Rachel said passionately. Without even realizing it she had spoken an entire speech about Quinn's goodness and she had to wonder why that was.

Quinn was left speechless because what could she say to that? What could she possibly say in response to such open and honest words? Not very much but she would try to at least say something in reply to her. "You're being far too kind Rachel … I'm not someone to be admired by others. I'm difficult, hard to, to understand, I … I'm often cold, I'm apathetic, I can be so, so mean to others, it's not easy for me to open up to others. I'm hardly someone to look up to or admire Rachel, but thank you for the compliments." Quinn was speaking with an honesty that was rare. She was speaking with a voice that she never spoke with even with her best of friends. She didn't talk to them about her problems because she feared they would see the truth in her words but here she was divulging these secret thoughts to someone she had known for all of two weeks.

Rachel was incredulous that she was saying such things and she was quick to interrupt her self-deprecating speech. "Quinn, Quinn, Quinn … no, just no. You are someone who is quite worth admiration without a single doubt in my mind. You aren't difficult or cold and everyone has it in them to be mean but you're not. Being tough and being mean are two completely different things, Quinn. The Quinn I see and have come to know little by little is worth the approbation of others. You are strong, not to be mistaken for someone infallible, intelligent, a genius really, brave, kind, generous, and so worth the trouble of figuring and getting to know. Yes you are hard to understand but only because there are so many layers to you, so much to learn and get to know. It's just that … well you're like an onion; there are many layers to you but you're worth the effort to peel … at least that's what I think. I hope you know that. If someone doesn't think you're worth the effort to get to know then they forget them and just know that you will find someone who _wants_ to peel all of the layers. We may just be partners and we may have only known you for two weeks but … I know I'm definitely one of the people who want to peel all of those layers to find the real Quinn underneath all of them. You're very pretty Quinn, the prettiest woman I've ever met … but you're a lot more than that, Quinn … you're definitely more than that, so much more."

Quinn had never heard something so sweet coming from anyone in her life. Brittany was sweet but she wasn't quite this articulate about most things in her life and Santana showed her soft side to Brittany more than she did to Quinn, not to say she never showed it to Quinn at all. Santana was typically a tough woman who only showed her soft side to Brittany and Quinn in private but there were rare times she let herself show it under serendipitous circumstances, usually ones that caused Brittany or Quinn terrible sorrow. Santana became the ultimate comfort during those times but shy of those rare exceptions for the bubbly blonde Brittany and the usually stoic Quinn it was as if Santana had the emotional capacity of a brick wall, not unlike Quinn herself. There was only one exception to that though and her name was Rachel Berry. She affected the two best friends in different ways. With Quinn she found herself being inexplicitly drawn to the brunette but often mistakes some of it as annoyance or something negative. Santana however was openly annoyed by the tiny, Jewish woman and often found herself butting heads with the brunette in the short time they had known each other.

She was silent for a few moments too long though because Rachel had cleared her throat and called out to Quinn several times in order to get her attention. "I'm sorry I was just … lost in my thoughts. It's just …" swallowed hard before she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "you really think that highly of me? I … I've never heard anything so … so sweet and kind from anyone before in my life Rachel."

Rachel looked shocked upon hearing such a thing. "I don't see why no one has ever told you such things or similar things before because you're amazing to me. You have never ceased to amaze me since the first day I met you. You're like a dream come true, someone who's so perfect I wonder how you can actually exist … how you can be real." Rachel paused and looked at the interesting tile patterns of the kitchen. "I have to remind myself sometimes that you really are in front of me and that you are real and that I can touch you and you won't disappear into thin air." Rachel's voice was soft at the awed admission. Rachel herself wasn't sure why she was saying half of the things she had been saying, least of all to Quinn's face. She had never let anyone else in the past know if she revered them as much as she was telling Quinn now because she couldn't stand letting others know how much she did see in them. It was like admitting to them that they were better in some way and she didn't like doing that but now … perhaps she had changed her ways in some capacity now that she was older.

Quinn gritted her teeth together for a moment at the sudden reminder of her life while living under her parent's roof but she quickly got herself under control. She took a quiet deep breath before letting it out softly and responding to Rachel in the same breath, "perhaps because I'm not worthy of such praise. I think … well I'm certain that most aren't nearly as kind as you are Rachel. I have never met a kinder person than Brittany and you in my life. You both show your kindness in different ways: Brittany shows it with affection and you show it with words openly. I've never met kinder people in my life than the family I've come to know in the Lima Police Department of the state of Ohio. Everyone is kind in their own way but you and Brittany have both shown me exceptional kindness. Brittany might not always know what to say but she always knows when I need comfort and she's always a single heartbeat away. She hugs me when I need it without having to say a word. And then … there's you," Quinn's voice grew even softer while addressing Rachel. "You're always around when I'm at my most vulnerable somehow and you know just what to say to make me feel better without me ever voicing what was bothering me in the first place. It amazes me how you just showed up out of nowhere and though … I'll admit I didn't like you entirely at first but that's changed since. I admire the way you never back down from anything and you somehow have a kind word for everyone no matter who they are and what they've potentially done." Quinn was silent for a moment before she added in a barely audible whisper, "I could never be that way."

Rachel felt her heart going out to this woman who seemed to have been given the short end of the stick in life. Quinn hardly talked about her own family and often referred to the police department as her family. What must that mean when it came to her blood family? Rachel's curiosity always got the better of her and she found herself asking Quinn about this rather puzzling part of her. "Quinn … I'm not sure if you've noticed this yourself but you haven't mentioned your family once in the last two weeks I have known you and you've only ever referred to your colleagues as your family thus far. I am … curious as to why that is but if you'd prefer not to say anything then you don't need to at all!" Rachel was quick to add the last part lest she upset her host in any way, which she really didn't want to do considering the blonde had already generously offered to allow her to stay there as it was.

Quinn had become a brick wall in the span of several seconds after Rachel mentioned her lack of mentioning her family. Her face was emotionless and yet there was something frightening about that look. Well not frightening so much as disconcerting but in a way it was a bit on the scary side to see that someone had the ability to completely wipe out any and all emotion from their face that quickly. Rachel felt highly unnerved by such an impossibly fast change in the blonde's demeanor. She no longer had a warm disposition to her, instead a cold, apathetic Quinn was standing before her in what she could see was a defense mechanism for the tall blonde.

There was an almost intense silence that followed where they both just stood looking at each other. A few emotions played across Rachel's face but not enough for there to be an entirely intense silence. Quinn finally spoke and she moved so that her back was now turned to the brunette, who for her part felt like she had just broken all progress she had with the now stoic blonde in a single moment. "We should eat," Quinn's soft voice barely filtered over the many thoughts going on in the brunette's mind. She managed to break herself away from her analyzing mind long enough to see that Quinn had set up the island as their dining area, making this a more informal affair from what Rachel gathered in the instant their eyes met. Quinn's entire demeanor spoke to Rachel and told her that Quinn was trying to distance herself from her and that just made Rachel worry all the more. What could have happened with her family that made her so unwilling, downright avoid, the topic of family? She wanted to know more; she wanted to learn what it was that made it so impossible for Quinn to open up about certain topics … well just the topic of family.

Dinner had been a quiet affair despite Rachel's best efforts to dispel the awkward and tense silence between them. She had no one but herself to blame for that though and she knew as much. They had finished eating already and, the food had been as spectacular as she had anticipated, now they were sitting in the living room, Quinn having cleared the dishes and washed them already. The plush loveseat felt wonderful for Rachel's overworked body but what made her more uncomfortable than anything was the fact that Quinn hadn't spoken since she suggested they eat. There had been complete silence from the blonde since. When Rachel had tried to strike conversation the blonde had made noncommittal noises in response to each and every inquiry. The blonde suddenly stood up and without a single word left the room leaving Rachel to sit in the silence she had created.

_Nice going me. I definitely had to open my big mouth and ruin things … __**again**__. Well at least she's not making this entirely unbearable … not! Why did I have to go and open my mouth and ask her about her damn family? There had never been any indication from her that she liked, least of all wanted, to ever talk about her family. This is why I'm not a therapist though I guess._ Her thoughts were broken abruptly by something landing softly against her lap and she had to wonder what it was. She briefly looked down at the offending object to see that it was a brand new, never opened toothbrush and when she looked up Quinn was standing in front of her holding a tube of _Colgate with Fresh Breath Mints!_, out to her in a patient manner. She wasn't smiling but she wasn't looking at her like she was evil either so that was a plus.

"Thank you Quinn …" Rachel wanted to apologize but she wasn't sure how to phrase her apology and so she was stuck. _What do I apologize for? Offending her? Bringing something up she obviously didn't want to talk about?_ Thoughts raced into her mind before she spoke up without giving herself a chance to think any further about it. "I'm sorry for asking about your family!" She burst out in a split second decision. She then gasped at hearing what she hadn't even decided to say and raised her hand up to her mouth in shock at having said what she did out loud. Quinn's face almost remained completely impassive but the quirk of her eyebrows in what Rachel had come to recognize and refer to as the infamous Fabray eyebrow raise. It was as if with that single raised eyebrow was speaking to her without Quinn having said a single thing.

"Follow me, I'll show you to where you will be sleeping tonight." Without another word Quinn walked down the hallway leading to several bedrooms in the condominium. Rachel quickly got up from where she had been sitting on the loveseat to follow after the blonde's retreating form. Rachel was quick to catch up to the blonde and she saw that there were four doors along the long hallway. She wondered what was behind each door and wall hiding what was hidden behind a shield of plaster and paint. Quinn stopped in front of a door that actually looked just as magnificent as the rest of the condominium. It was decorated with a beautifully painted scene illustrating winter, Rachel's personal favorite season. She hadn't taken notice of any of the rooms before this moment but now that she was looking she could see that each door depicted a different season. "There is a bathroom in this room and there are already towels and such inside. There … well there's clothing too but the clothing belongs to both Brittany and Santana so I wouldn't … uh I wouldn't wear anything of theirs." There was a pause as Quinn recovered from her slight embarrassment, for what Rachel wasn't sure. "You can … you can borrow some of my clothes if you'd like … I don't think you'd want to wear anything that belongs to either of them without their permission since you are a rather honest and proper person." She wasn't looking at Rachel while she said this, the nails on her right hand being so much more interesting at the moment. Quinn then looked over at the door furthest down the hall and pointed to it, "that room is my room … so when you're ready you can get my attention and I'll get you some clothes to sleep in." With that said Quinn turned on her heel and walked off to her room.

Rachel was standing before the door nervously. She wasn't quite sure where her nerves were coming from but she knew they were present as she stood in front of the door to one Quinn Fabray's room. She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly before she attempted to knock on the door only to stop. She had been doing this for several moments now and she had no idea what was wrong with her, why she was so nervous. It was strange because she couldn't recall ever being this nervous about anything in her life and she had to ponder why that was. She recalled times when she had been nervous in her life: when she sang for the school talent show for the first time, the first dance class she had ever had, her first dance recital … nothing compared to this moment now standing before Quinn Fabray's bedroom door. She was a bit frustrated with herself for her struggle but she knew no good what come if it right now and so without wasting any more time standing in front of the door decorated with a painted autumn scene she knocked. Almost instantly the door was opened, almost as if the occupant of the bedroom had been anticipating it.

Quinn had a smirk on her face and it was the first bit of emotion she had allowed to pass over her face since Rachel's slip up earlier. "I was wondering when you'd finally knock on the door. I saw your shadow under the door about five minutes ago but you didn't knock and so I stood by the door waiting for you until you knocked. I … I was sure you had been thinking about something and I didn't want to intrude upon your thoughts so I just waited. I personally dislike it greatly if someone interrupts me from my thinking and so … I didn't want to do that to you." Quinn took a moment to pause as she looked at Rachel before she stepped further into the room, "you can come in you know?" Without another word Quinn had walked further into the room and Rachel followed in.

Quinn wordlessly walked over to a dresser, where shorts and a tank top could be seen, and picked up the clothes sitting there and handed them to Rachel. "Thank you … for everything Quinn. I … I really appreciate this so much," Rachel was conveying as much as she could with her eyes and Quinn was looking right back. Their eyes were locked with such intensity, an intensity that Rachel had never felt before in all of her 23, nearly 24, years of life. Rachel was the first to look away, "I'll … I'll go ahead and get changed now. Thank you for everything you've done for me Quinn. This means so much to me," and she murmured the next words, "more than you'll ever know." She left the room without waiting for any response because the blonde had left her feeling confused and a little breathless for some reason she could not understand.

After Rachel had dressed into the snug clothing she lay on the generous full mattress in the room. She took the time to just relax since she hadn't been able to because of the strange air between Quinn and herself since they first met … and also because of her irresponsible questioning earlier. She should not have mentioned Quinn's family when it was so blatantly obvious that Quinn was uncomfortable with any mention of them. She couldn't help her curiosity though. What was it about the word family that had Quinn so spooked, so completely and frustratingly guarded like that? Rachel was still very much curious but she knew her curiosity would have to wait because she didn't like the idea that she had upset Quinn in any way and it was very apparent that she had. She disliked the idea so greatly that she even felt her heart throb a little at the thought that she had upset the blonde so in her own home no less. This was most likely the blonde's sanctuary, her escape from the problems that must plague her everyday life so. Rachel understood what it was like not to have that anymore, considering it had been ripped away from her only scant hours ago.

Rachel checked her phone and saw that it was already nearly ten and she needed to be up by six for work so she closed her eyes and willed her curiosity and thoughts away. One last thought struck her though before sleep claimed her entirely, _why do I care about Quinn so much already when I've only known her for two weeks?_

Quinn was in a similar situation to Rachel. She was lying in her Queen sized bed lost in thought. She had been contemplating the reasons for her not quite overreaction to Rachel's inquiry about her family. Rachel had asked the wrong questions at the wrong time and she couldn't help but wonder why she had such a strong and noticeable reaction to it. She was supposed to be a stoic, aloof Fabray, not an emotional wreck of a Fabray. Fabrays were supposed to keep their feelings locked up inside where no one could see them because that meant that they were strong. Showing emotions that were negative was the same as showing weakness and Fabrays weren't weak … at least they weren't supposed to be. Quinn didn't know what it was about Rachel that made it so that she wasn't the perfect Fabray anymore. She could so easily take all of her emotions and store them away and yet … whenever the tiny Jewish brunette was around she somehow couldn't control herself, her emotions, as well. It was like her walls were crumbling around her when they had never crumbled around anyone before. Sure there were times when she couldn't help but show some emotion because something hurt her terribly but those occasions were scarce. Those rare times were usually when she had some form of contact with her family because it always ended badly in some way.

Quinn sighed. She was sure she wasn't going to sleep again tonight. For as long as half of her life she had been an insomniac. Sometimes she would sleep for a few hours but her sleep schedule was very inconsistent. Some nights she would be awake for 30 or 40 hours and some weeks she was actually able to sleep for a few hours every day but it was always dependent on her defect. She was depressed, terribly so, and no therapist she had seen in the past had ever been able to help her. It was hard to open up to people who had never met before and she had seen many of them when she was in college but … for her to open up at all to someone like Rachel in so little time? It was strange, an entirely foreign concept for her.

She looked at her clock and saw that it was already 11:23 and she buried her face under the cover of her soft, silky blanket, a gift from Tina and Mike, with beautiful flower designs upon the silky ends of it. She buried herself into her pillow and reasoned that she wouldn't be as tired as long as she rested her eyes at least. As she lay where she did she heard a soft noise, one that almost sounded like a knock but it was so soft she couldn't be sure and so she waited. After a few more moments she heard it again and so she was sure that someone was indeed knocking softly at her door. "Come in," she spoke just loud enough for it to be heard passed the door and only a few seconds later Rachel's head could be seen peeking in through the door's slightly ajar frame.

Rachel's soft voice filtered in through the quiet night, a rather ironic thing considering all of the crime that happened in this city, "um … I'm sorry to bother you but I just … I can't seem to sleep properly. I had been sleeping but I kept waking up and I … I'm just … well I'm just not used to sleeping by myself anymore and … I feel so uneasy." Quinn, for some reason unknown to her, felt her heartbeat pick up in speed at the prospect of what Rachel was suggesting. "I mean … well you don't have to but … I was wondering if … if it would be all right for me to sleep in here with you? We can each have our separate sides and everything if that would make you more comfortable … but again you don't, you don't have to let me … you know … sleep with you." Rachel's awkwardness was actually quite endearing and adorable and the blonde let out a soft chuckle.

The blonde's voice was just as soft and there was a fondness in her tone as she spoke, "I don't bite you know? I … well I suppose that if you can't sleep alone you can … you can sleep here if you really need to Rachel. I don't mind. I've always slept by myself but … that's because I don't trust Brittany and Santana to … abstain from certain activities at night if they were to sleep in the same room as me. I trust you not to do anything that would be anything … scandalous like Santana and Brittany would." Rachel turned red at hearing such a blunt thing from the blonde.

"No I would not." Rachel was so embarrassed that she was rooted to the spot in mortification. She wasn't sure if the blonde was being serious or joking around with her because her tone gave nothing away but she was sure it was just a joke. The blonde was being quite the tease, Rachel was coming to realize, in her own special way. Sometimes her teasing wasn't obvious because of her lack of emotion when she spoke most of the time so it was hard to judge.

There was a moment of silence, hazel and chestnut locked, before the blonde broke it, "so … are you coming over or not? I mean I don't mind if you stand over there all night but I thought you wanted to sleep?" There was the tiniest lilt to her voice that suggested she was joking and Rachel felt her embarrassment melt away and turn into happiness. Quinn Fabray, one of the most stoic people she had ever met, was joking around with her! She felt like she was falling down somewhere but she didn't quite know where down was or what lay there in wait. She just knew she had never felt this strongly about anyone so quickly before in her life and the blonde was really burying herself deep within Rachel's heart.

"Oh, um, yes!" And with that Rachel closed the door behind her and ran into the room like the hounds of hell were chasing after her heels and she managed to get to the right side of the bed, unoccupied by the blonde but occupied by a body pillow. She paused at the sight of it and she became slightly flustered, "may I … um may I move your body pillow?" And again Quinn felt herself chuckling a little bit to herself at how adorable she found the brunette.

"Am I really that scary Rachel Barbra Berry?" The blonde asked teasingly yet again. Rachel shook her head but in the darkness of the room and from her position on the bed she couldn't see it. "Rachel?" She asked uncertainly.

"Oh I'm sorry. I nodded but I suppose you couldn't see it from your arrangement on the bed. My apologies. You aren't scary at all Quinn … in fact I think you're warm and pleasant to be around when you let the tall walls you've built down so others can see the real you." There was a small pause before Rachel spoke again, "you really are … someone special Quinn. You make people care, more than they ever realized they could for someone else … at least that's the case with me. I've never cared for someone who is for, all intents and purposes, practically a stranger to me like this. You make me care about why you have these walls built up so high no one can fly over them. You make me care about the woman who seems to struggle so much with opening up. You make me care about you and who you are." Rachel's voice was soft but sure in everything she said to the insecure blonde.

They just lay in silence for a few moments longer, Rachel nodding along the edge of sleep, until Quinn broke the silence with softly uttered words, "good night Rachel … and thank you."

Rachel fell asleep with a smile on her face and slept better than she had ever in her nearly 24 years of life. Quinn even managed to sleep when she had been sure she wouldn't be able to before. Neither of them knew this but during the night the body pillow somehow found its way to the ground and Quinn was lying with Rachel in the safety of her arms.

I know, this took a long time and I'm sorry for that but I had a really long week. First there was the fact that I hurt myself walking my sister's dog and my foot was bloody for a while and then there was the fact that I recently just got a job. My updates my take a little longer than usual because I've got a part time job now but I promise I won't drop any of my stories and I hope this chapter was worth the wait!^^ Just so everyone knows I am my own beta and I usually send these chapters in rather raw so if there are any mistakes I apologize for them.

Please read, review, and enjoy this chapter everyone~!

姫宮光る


	6. Intriguing

Chapter 6

Intriguing

The first to wake up, between the two of them, was Quinn and she found that in the night Rachel had somehow ended up on top of her and was curled up within her arms. She had no idea how Rachel came to the position of being half on top of her or how her arms came to settle around her body, pulling her closer still. It was like her body had adhered to some kind of subconscious wish and now Rachel was lying in her arms as if it was perfectly natural … routine for them. The thought made her stop in her tracks and wonder, ponder this little fact. Was there something more between them … on her part subconsciously? Or what was this? What did it mean for her to wake up with the brunette lying in her arms as if it was a perfectly natural thing? What more she was surprised she had slept at all and that there hadn't been any nightmares from being asleep, as was the norm for her. She took at quick glance at the clock and saw that it was 7:02 AM. She got about seven hours of sleep then since she knew she fell asleep around midnight.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Rachel's sudden movement. Was she waking up? The answer was a negative when she felt Rachel shift only so that she could bury her nose further into Quinn's neck and took a deep breath in the fruity scent of apples and watermelon, a strange but enticing scent. As Quinn lay on the bed thinking she couldn't help but notice how well Rachel's body molded to hers, as if they were made to fit together like a glove. She wondered about all of these feelings … about how easily she opened up to Rachel and how her emotions seemed to show easily around her. It was a strange effect because she had never been so open to another person about such things before. It made her heart ache a little when it came to the thoughts of home and how she couldn't open up to anyone growing up. It was all a process her parents decided to leave her to flounder with alone. Never was there a day she could actually remember feeling any bit of warmth or happiness when it came to thoughts of her parents and now was no exception to that.

Quinn looked at the clock and saw that little more than half an hour had passed since she first glanced at the clock. She let out a deep, tired sigh that left her feeling exhausted and lost. She was a weary soul in a young body but even more than that she was a sad one. She was the saddest person she had ever met and it was wearing her down. It was like the weights of all of the demons haunting her were dragging her entire body down with their weight, with their power. It made her feel more fatigued than anything else in her life.

She knew well enough that she should have done something about it a long time ago, should have put more effort into getting treatment, but she wasn't comfortable going out to talk to therapists. What made things even worse was the fact that they were all woman who seemed nice and just wanted to help. They were earnest and sincere but she just couldn't seem to open up to any of the five different ones she had gone to see before. Rachel had once said she wanted to be a therapist and it made Quinn wonder … _if I had met Rachel as a therapist would I still have been so open … so willing to talk and show my emotions?_ And after several moments of silent contemplation she decided that yes, yes she would have. Under any and all circumstances she had met Rachel she would have opened up to her and she would have told her almost everything. It was just so easy to get lost in those warm, smoldering brown eyes.

She was interrupted from her thoughts about the brunette by the brunette herself stirring. She made a little groaning noise before shifting her position a little so that she was lying entirely on Quinn, her arms finding purchase on Quinn's shoulders. Quinn was sorely tempted to look down but she didn't want to wake the diva if she was still sleeping by moving her head and potentially jostling the tan little diva's head. Quinn, with some difficulty, took her arms from around the peaceful, sleeping brunette. She placed them at her sides so that she wouldn't be tempted to hold her again. She didn't want the brunette to wake up knowing that they had been in a somewhat compromising position. It was definitely not in the blonde's agenda for the day; 1: fall asleep with Rachel beside her, 2: wake up with her arms wrapped securely around Rachel. No, that definitely wasn't in the master plan.

She then realized how tense she was in that moment and willed herself to relax and not worry too much about the implications of being tense in the brunette's arms. She wasn't sure what was worse, waking up to the realization that she was holding the brunette or tensing up over the fact that she was no longer holder her? She looked over to her clock again to see that a mere five minutes had gone by and that thought was slightly frustrating. How much longer was Rachel going to sleep and for that matter how much longer until she woke up realizing she was lying on top of her? She honestly couldn't find it in herself to mind the fact much; in fact if she was being honest with herself she quite liked it. The only relationships she had ever known were very brief ones she had in high school during her junior and senior years with underclassmen who were actually around her age. It was awkward, every single one of them, because none of them had known how to speak to her and approach her because she was such a perfected Ice Queen. She had truly tried to actually make one of the relationships work but they all seemed to only like her pretty face. She was always too smart, too cold, too serious, too mature, too much of everything for every single failed relationship she had. It was hard on her because then all she could ever think about was what she could have possibly done wrong.

Her musing was broken by Rachel's movement once again and she glanced over at the clock to see that it was now just fifteen minutes until eight. It took her a moment to realize that her arms had somehow found themselves encompassing Rachel's lithe body yet again. Just as she was about to remove them Rachel's movement interrupted her as she stretched her body out, meaning that she was awakening. It was a little unnerving to know that any moment now she was going to realize that something was terribly different … or perhaps she was used to waking up in someone's arms. Quinn wasn't sure what Rachel was going to do, how she was going to react, when she finally realized that she was lying in her arms. She hoped she didn't become upset with herself or anything ridiculous like that.

Rachel was moving around again and when she yawned into Quinn's neck she knew that it would only be moments before the tiny diva realized that she wasn't lying in her boyfriend's arms. It was only a matter of seconds now and as if it was on cue she heard the response she had been expecting, in some capacity at least. Rachel jolted with surprise before she reeled back to look at the person who had been holding her throughout the night. Quinn just looked at her startled brown eyes for a moment before she responded sheepishly and shyly. "Um … hi … sorry about uh … this. I woke up and it was just … I didn't want to wake you so I … yeah." Quinn was looking away from Rachel's face because of her embarrassment. Though she couldn't hide from Rachel in her current position underneath her she wanted to at least avoid seeing what surely must have been confusion in Rachel's brown eyes.

Her eyes were squeezed shut as tightly as they possibly could be so she didn't see the smile of amusement on Rachel's face. "Quinn?" Quinn kept her eyes shut tightly but hummed to let Rachel know she was listening to her. "Look at me Quinn, please." Quinn wanted to outright refuse but she knew it would be childish of her to do so, so with a reluctant sigh she opened her piercing hazel eyes and looked into Rachel's warm ones. Quinn was trapped the moment her eyes met Rachel's and she knew that looking away was a lost cause. "I don't mind this honestly," and she pointed between them to indicate what she meant. "I've honestly woken up to situations more awkward than this and trust me Quinn, there were a few." Quinn wasn't sure what to think of the statement because one way or another, it didn't quite make her feel any better. On the one hand she was being told that Rachel had had worse situations before … on another hand Rachel was admitting that she did find this situation awkward on some level.

Quinn was lost in thought when Rachel cleared her throat to garner her attention. "Oh … sorry I … I was just thinking about what you could have possibly meant by 'more awkward situations'." And Quinn even used air quotes to illustrate her point and Rachel took a moment to appreciate the adorable way Quinn had done so. Her eyebrows had furrowed when she used air quotes and Rachel couldn't help but smile at how endearing she found this side of Quinn, openly showing emotions like this. Quinn was only open with her emotions on very rare occasions so seeing her like this made Rachel happy. Quinn felt self-conscious about Rachel looking down at her with a smile on her face … well she felt nervous every time Rachel looked at her period but that was beside the point. "What … why are you … looking at me like that?" Quinn asked in a soft, almost hesitant voice.

Rachel looked slightly confused by the question. She wasn't looking at her in a strange way was she? She decided to ask Quinn for confirmation, "what do you mean?"

And Quinn hesitated. "Like … I mean something to you." And now Rachel was looking at Quinn like she had never been asked a more ridiculous question and that she thought the answer should have been completely obvious to the insecure blonde. She was startled by the sudden vulnerability in Quinn's entire demeanor.

"Quinn … of course you mean something to me!" Rachel said as sincerely as she had ever said anything true. "You mean a great deal to me Quinn. I can see that you're a guarded person but that doesn't matter to me because you're just afraid of being hurt by other people. You're a little mysterious because of the many ways you hide yourself but that's not any reason to make people feel as if they shouldn't care about you. You're more than worth the effort to get to know, to peel the layers of and find the person underneath the mystery and how intriguing you are." Rachel was looking down into the hazel eyes and imploring her to understand what she was conveying with every breath she took. "Every person in the world has immeasurable value no matter what they choose to do. Looking at you though … I know that you're a good person because of the career path you chose. You were a child prodigy and you could have chosen any path you wanted … but you chose Criminal Justice. You chose to right the wrongs that happen far too often in this world and it is entirely admirable. I think it's something so wonderful and brave of you to do." The way Rachel was looking at her right now and it made Quinn lose her breath.

As much as Quinn wanted to look away it was as if it was physically impossible for her to do so. It was like Rachel's eyes had some kind of pull that drew her in and it was drawing Quinn into Rachel's eyes like a helpless bug to a sweet trap set up by a Venus flytrap. Quinn was so caught she didn't know what to do or say because she was so lost in every emotion that Rachel was showing so readily to her. It made her feel strange … it made her feel something she had never felt before in her life. She wasn't sure what the feeling was or how to identify it in anyway but all that she knew was … it scared her a little. It was odd for her to feel so much about someone she had known for barely more than two weeks! It felt like so much longer than that though and she didn't know why she felt like she knew the brunette so well despite the short amount of time they had known each other.

Quinn wanted to say something, anything, in response to the tiny brunette leaning over her with her arms on either side supporting her weight but she didn't think she would say anything intelligible considering her current predicament. She had never been in this kind of situation before, one where she was unable to speak when she wanted to because she was so lost in someone else's gaze. It never occurred to her that it was even possible because it seemed like something that only happened in movies or romance novels, becoming lost in someone else's eyes. All of a sudden she realized that Rachel's face was very close to her own and it seemed that Rachel was just as lost in her own set of hazel orbs. All of their concentration was on each other and then … Rachel's eyes closed and the spell was broken … except for the fact that her face was even closer still.

And then there was a loud voice speaking into the apartment and they were both so startled that Rachel ended up falling right off of the bed, causing a very audible thud to sound through the room and the rest of the condominium. "Oi, are you okay in there Quinn?" Santana's loud voice reverberated throughout the condo and caused Quinn to momentarily curse the Latina before she carefully stepped off of her bed to check on the tiny brunette. She was sure that if she hadn't been in her current situation she would have actually found this to be a bit comical and laugh worthy. Considering her circumstances though, she was just worried about the little diva.

"Are you all right, Rachel?" She asked as she carefully flipped the diva over so that she was in a supine position. She had fallen face first into the, thankfully, carpeted floor. The brunette herself seemed a little out of it most likely because she was still in shock over having fallen on the floor like she had. She looked slightly dazed to Quinn, which was concerning, and she brushed a few stray locks of hair out of her face. "Rachel?" Quinn asked with slight concern showing through in her normally toneless voice.

Rachel blinked a few times to clear herself of her unfocused gaze and in an attempt to recover from the slight ringing in her ears. She was just about to answer when an alarmed Santana burst through Quinn's bedroom door unbidden. Quinn herself couldn't quite fight back the annoyance that transferred very slightly on her features. "What happened … in here?" Santana was quite unsure of the sight she was met with when she opened the door to see a body that was most definitely not the blonde she had been expecting and the blonde herself. "What is _she_ doing here?" Santana didn't mean to come off sounding as rude as she did but she was quite startled and a startled Santana was always a bit rude. "And on the floor no less." Santana added ignoring the withering glare Quinn was sending her way in response to her rudeness and for her just barging in like she owned the damn place.

"First of all I could ask you the same thing: what are you doing here? And second of all, you startled Rachel into falling right off of the bed face first and now she's a bit dazed thanks to you. And lastly … what have I told you about barging into my house like you own the place Santana? It's not as if I've never told you about my rules regarding my living space San. Please, refrain from doing something like that in the future as Rachel will be staying for a little bit. I would like to keep her in one piece when she finds a place of her own eventually." Quinn hadn't even discussed it with Rachel yet but she knew that Rachel didn't really have anywhere else to go as it was anyways.

Rachel lost her dazed confusion at the statement and Rachel and Santana both reeled back in surprise and simultaneously shouted, "what?!" into the room following the rather shocking statement. They were both surprised by the blonde's strong statement; there had been no hesitation in her voice.

"I said," Quinn started patiently, "Rachel is welcome to stay here until she gets herself situated because of a rather … unfortunate event that took place in her apartment. Until Rachel has found another place to live she is welcome to stay here with me for the time being so she doesn't have to live in her own car or on the streets." Santana was beyond confused by this and so she decided to find out what this was all about exactly from her best friend.

"Quinn … can we have a word," her eyes darted between Rachel's form on the floor still and Quinn looking at her with a single raised brow. "In private?" She actually managed to make it a question by this point. Quinn, eyebrow still raised, sighed in acceptance and stood from her kneeling position and held a hand out to Rachel, offering her help. Rachel looked up at the hand and smiled as she took it and was helped to her feet gently.

"Will you be okay by yourself for a few minutes Rachel?" Quinn didn't want to leave Rachel alone in the room after what had almost happened between them before Santana barged into the room … because she needed to know what it meant. Quinn didn't like not knowing because it was the worst feeling in the world. She still, to this very day, didn't know what she meant to her family, to her parents mostly. Her sister didn't love her enough to stick around and be a sister to her when she needed her most … but she did love her if the hand written letters and pictures of her life were any indication.

At Rachel's nod and words Quinn left with slight reluctance. "I'll be okay, now go!" And she playfully pushed Quinn's back to propel her a few steps forward.

"Okay, okay. No need to shove me around Rachel!" Quinn said with a smile on her face, playfully returning the tease.

"So … explain?" Quinn raised an eyebrow at the vague question. Explain what exactly? Explain Rachel on the floor, why she slept in the same bed, why she was here? Quinn wasn't sure which of these questions Santana wanted an answer for exactly.

"Explain what Santana?" Quinn asked tonelessly with her infamous Fabray eyebrow raise firmly intact.

"Don't play games with me Q. What the hell is going on between you and your partner Fabray? I thought you were supposed to be a genius. That's why you left me and Brit in the dust when we were in kindergarten together." Santana added the last part as a spoken thought rather than making a point.

Quinn was even more confused than ever. "Nothing is going on between us. Rachel is in a rather bad predicament right now and she can't go back to her apartment or her parent's house right now so I thought it would be best for her to live with me for the time being rather than living in her car. She doesn't have anywhere else to go and she's my partner so … I don't really want anything bad to happen to her." Quinn was loathed to admit that she actually cared for the tiny powerhouse so she side stepped it in a way that wouldn't be a complete lie to her best friend.

Santana raised an eyebrow at the blonde. "That's not all of it though and you and I both know that. I've known you since we were kindergarteners because my father decided to let me into a public school instead of a hoity toity place like Lima Central Catholic School. He didn't want me being around a bunch of snobby prissy missies so thank god for that! Dios mio can you just imagine how much of a pain I would have grown up to be if he had put me in that school?" Santana rolled her eyes at herself before she got back on track, "anyways back to the subject, what is up with you allowing her to stay here? You barely let Brit sleep over here let alone when I'm involved with it. You absolutely refuse to let the both of us sleep over here unless we're completely smashed and you've known us both for years, so explain." Santana said demandingly. Sometimes Quinn wondered why she was even friends with the high strung Latina. She scoffed at her and rolled her eyes before explaining her actions to her best friend of 19 years.

"Okay … well first of all, I know that Rachel isn't going to sleep with anyone in the guest bed considering it's just the two of us. Second of all she just broke up with her boyfriend … sort of … I think. Anyways she's not going to have any guests coming into this condo for her personal pleasure so I won't have to check my sheets for stains and stink just for having her sleeping here. She's more respectable of other people's things than you and you know that San." Quinn added the last part quickly because Santana had opened her mouth to argue back but Quinn beat her to the punch. "It would also be very cruel of me to not offer to help her in any way whatsoever when I know what happened. And then there's the fact that if something happens to her I'd feel guilty since I know it would have been because I didn't try to help her when I had the chance. It's safer indoors and she would have been so vulnerable had she been left to sleep in her car last night." Quinn gave a moment's pause to allow Santana to take it all in before she continued, "and even if these streets aren't as dangerous as some bigger cities there's no guarantee. We're still looking for a serial killer as it is." This was almost everything but she couldn't admit the other part out loud … it would be too much for her. She didn't even know for certain what it was she was feeling anyways. She was still figuring things out as it was and there was no need to bring Santana into that.

Santana however knew something from what the blonde didn't say. She understood her best friend more than she realized and in that moment she understood something the blonde did not. Quinn was falling in love … or at the very least in like with the tiny diva, the very annoying and slightly pretentious diva with a big voice that matched her big personality. Santana had to admit that as tiny as she was she had a very big and powerful voice and she sounded good, not that she'd ever admit it out loud. The diva was already affecting Quinn more than anyone else had ever in all of her years of dating. Quinn never dated many but she dated for a long time and by college she had given up on dating at 17 because all of the girls at the academy just weren't her type. She also realized by 17 that she had no attraction to males whatsoever and she didn't want to alert her parents to such a thing. She knew with great certainty that they would have burned her like a witch had they ever found out about it. They were very unforgiving individuals with very pompous attitudes and a 'holier than thou' kind of complex. Nothing Quinn did was ever good enough and sometimes they would beat her for it. Her father had been the perpetrator to many beatings and after the most severe ones he would put thousands of dollars into her college savings fund and he once put over $100,000 into a checking account for her because of how many days she had been in the hospital for one of them. $10,000 for each day she had been in the hospital and unable to go to school. Santana had been livid over hearing later on what had truly happened when Quinn finally told her when they were both older.

Santana became angry over the thoughts that had surfaced when she had simply been thinking about how her friend had finally found someone she liked more than she knew. Quinn sensed the shift in thoughts and mood and immediately felt concerned. "Santana? Hey! What's up San?" Quinn asked and she finally resorted to snapping her fingers to get her friend's attention when calling out to her didn't work.

Santana gave a slight shudder and shake at the intrusion and shook her head at the sudden dark turn her thoughts had made. "I'm cool. I'm fine, I'm fine … I was just …" Santana let out a sigh before steeling her gaze and continuing, "your parents … I was thinking about your parents and you know how I feel about them. They … they aren't fit to be called parents and they're cruel bastards who deserve to rot in hell for what they did to you. I was just thinking about you and then it lead to thoughts of them," Santana had a fire in her eyes when she spoke about them but it dwindled down into gentleness. "I hate them for everything they've done to you and you know you should have told someone at the station when you first started working there but … they're family and you couldn't do that to them no matter what they did to you. I know your stand on the situation and you mine." Santana looked away from Quinn, finding the wooden floor far more interesting for the moment.

Quinn took Santana's hand and nodded. "I know and that's why I respect you more for not saying anything." Before either of them could blink Santana was burrowed into Quinn's shoulder and she was holding back tears. "It's okay San. I didn't let them hold me back from being who I am now. The woman I am today has nothing to do with the child they hurt on countless occasions during their drunken rages." Santana felt the first few tears fall and a whimper fell from her lips, "shh, it's okay San. Let it out." And Quinn was rocking Santana in her arms to comfort her normally strong friend. Santana had only ever cried in front of Quinn four times in her life and now was the fifth time. The first time was when she was confessing to her abuela her preference and her abuela rejected her. The second time was after she left the choir room of William McKinley High School after breaking up with Brittany and singing the song _Mine_ to her. The third time had been when she first found out about what Quinn's parents had done to her so many times. The last time she had cried in front of Quinn had been when Brittany was shot in the line of duty and now was the fifth time.

"Quinn … what your parents did was just as bad as my abuela disowning me. No … what they did was worse than that even because they did it out of malice … my abuela just couldn't understand where I was coming from. She didn't know how to accept who I was until she saw how broken I was after I broke up with Brittany for her. And then she got to see me at my happiest when I was with Brittany again. She still doesn't get it but she's not saying anything about it anymore because she knows that Brit makes me happy and that's enough for her. Your parents … they are the scum on this earth and they're entitled preachers. They can get away with a lot of things because they've got money and they know how to use it. I know that's why you became a police officer … well head detective after you were promoted twice. You know that if you catch them first there's a higher chance of getting them where they're supposed to be … where they deserve to be." Santana was silent for a moment, "I … after I found out about what really happened … what was really happening I decided to do the same thing as you. I can't stand the thought of them getting away with everything they did so now I'm doing my best to make sure it doesn't happen to other people, to other kids deserving of much better lives." There was an inexplicable sorrow in Santana's eyes. Quinn had never seen such a look in Santana's eyes before. Perhaps it was purely due to the fact that Santana never showed sorrow no matter who was around and so it was new, foreign, to the blonde.

Quinn gave Santana's body a gentle squeeze, not knowing how else to comfort the riled and sad brunette. To be angry and sad at the same time was a bit strange but understandable considering the cause of Santana's sorrow and ire. "I know that you haven't forgiven them for what they've done and know that I haven't either … it's just … it's best to leave the past in the past. I know it doesn't mean much coming from me because it still haunts me … every night when I do sleep … but I've gotten used to it. It doesn't bother me nearly as much anymore and you should try to forge—" Quinn was interrupted but a furious Latina.

"Quinn! No, don't you dare! Don't you dare tell me to forget that it ever happened! Don't tell me to forget all of the times you cried in my arms and refused to explain what had happened to me! Don't you _dare_ tell me to forgive and forget because I won't, I can't! I will never forget what they've done and how much they've done to you. It is utterly barbaric, the way they treated you, and I'm going to be livid for you because you refuse to do so yourself! I'd rather be fuming and agonized for you but you're already in agony and it never seems to get any better no matter what and I can't help that. You've got shit that you have to find help for but you refuse to do anything about. It worries Brit and me both because all we want is what's best for you. We just want to help you get over what they've done to you but only you can do that. We can't do anything more than try and help you find your way and support you the best we can." Santana wrapped her arms around Quinn and buried her face into Quinn's neck even further. "You've been carrying this burden alone for far too long and you and I both know that. Let someone else in so they can help you. I know you tried for five years but you just couldn't find the right person so you gave up. This is something you shouldn't give up though. You need the help more than you'll admit and you know this better than anyone else. Stop being strong and try to let yourself depend on another person for once Quinn … or else this will come back to haunt you someday."

And Santana didn't say anymore than that. There was nothing else to be said really and she had said everything she wanted to, to her blonde best friend.

Rachel had been sitting on the bed for some time when she heard a loud shout and it only took her a moment to realize that it was Santana's voice. As much as she wanted to listen to her instincts and run to the room that the blonde and Latina were occupying she knew it was none of her business. So she continued to sit where she was and to her slight chagrin she could hear some of what the Latina was saying because of the pure volume of her voice. "Quinn!" A pause here, "no, don't you dare! Don't you dare tell me to forget that it ever happened!" Her voice was so forceful but in a way that showed she cared and that it wasn't out of anger she yelled the words. "Don't tell me to forget all of the times you cried in my arms and refused to explain what had happened to me!" And now Rachel was trying to find a way to occupy herself so she couldn't hear them anymore because it was obviously a private conversation and moment between them. And she knew if she heard it she would never be able to un-hear because of her eidetic tonal memory. With a sigh she thought of a song and started singing it loudly enough so that she wouldn't be able to hear Santana's powerful voice between the walls of the condominium.

After she sang _Get It Right_,_ Keep Holding On_, _Sing!_, _Take A Bow_, and _Teenage Dream_ (imagine The Break-Up ep) she noticed that it was quiet. _Take A Bow_ was an obvious choice for her considering her current situation and how well the song fit into what had occurred only the night before. She still couldn't believe that she had been so blind, so stupid, and so very foolish not to see the blatant signs of his disinterest in her physically. She had thought nothing of it and let things go on for years only to have it blow up in her face now. It should have been so easy for her to see what had been right in front of her this entire time but she ignored all of the ways he seemed too good to be true and just thought that she had gotten lucky with such a catch like him. She should have listened to her fathers' advice and dumped him when she was in high school so things wouldn't have to hurt this badly. In a way though, she supposed she was just glad that it was over because that meant that this end there would be no more lies being told and she was free. Maybe she would find someone else to be the leading man in her life … or woman. She had always thought of herself as bisexual because she believed everyone to be born bisexual and then they were exposed to a heterosexual normative world and accepted it freely as the 'right way' to live. It was a sad and disparaging thought.

She found that despite the fact that she accepted the fact that her relationship was now officially over … she didn't like how it came to be that way. They hadn't grown apart … well more like she hadn't grown out of love for him, and he seemed to care for her a great deal. Then again the only reason he hadn't been pressuring her to have sex with him was probably because he wasn't interested in having sex with her in the first place. She just wanted to put this behind her but she knew it was going to bother her for a while still and it wasn't just going to go away overnight. That thought made her feel the anger that had been buried deep behind the sorrow over the situation and another song came to mind in the haze of livid ire. And that was how _Rolling In The Deep_ came to sound in the room. And that was the song Quinn and Santana walked into when they opened the door slightly to talk to Rachel about the pressing issue of living arrangements.

There's a fire starting in my heart

Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark

Finally, I can see you crystal clear

Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare

See how I'll leave with every piece of you

Don't underestimate the things that I will do

There's a fire starting in my heart

Reaching a fever pitch and its bringing me out the dark

The scars of your love remind me of us

They keep me thinking that we almost had it all

The scars of your love, they leave me breathless

I can't help feeling; we could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside of your hand

And you played it to the beat

Baby, I have no story to be told

But I heard one on you and it's gonna make your head burn

Think of me in the depths of your despair

Making a home down there, as mine sure won't be shared

The scars of your love remind me of us

They keep me thinking that we almost had it all

The scars of your love, they leave me breathless

I can't help feeling we could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside of your hand

And you played it with a beating

Could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside of your hand

But you played it with a beating

Throw your soul through every open door

Count your blessings to find what you look for

Turn my sorrow into treasured gold

Pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow

We could have had it all

We could have had it all

It all, it all, it all

We could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside of your hand

And you played it to the beat

You could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside of your hand

And you played and you played

And you played it and you played it to the beat

Quinn and Santana were both speechless in the wake of such an emotional expression. Her voice was so soft during certain parts but oh so strong in others and she sang the melody perfectly … even better than Adele herself in their opinion. It was the way she was emotionally invested in singing it with the ache and anger she experienced from the betrayal of the man she loved. It was almost painful to hear the diva wail this powerful song with her strong voice like she had.

Quinn was the first to break the silence that had been left in the wake of the songstresses wake, "that was … a flawless rendition Rachel. I can tell that you were very emotionally invested in the song from the way you sang it and your voice almost cracked with emotion once." Rachel's head whipped into their direction and she was blushing, having not realized that she had had company since the beginning of the song. "Oh um … sorry about that, didn't mean to startle you little songstress." Quinn said sheepishly in response to Rachel's obvious surprise. "Anyways I wanted to come back in here to talk about letting you stay here with me since you don't have anywhere else to go. Santana and I have a plan since today is Sunday and we don't have to come in to the station … well we thought it would be okay to stop by your apartment to grab whatever necessities you need. Santana and I can go in so you can stay in the car and you won't have to worry about seeing him. I'll make sure you get your things and Santana can watch him to make sure he doesn't try to leave to see you. She'll make it very clear that he's not your boyfriend anymore and that he is not to approach you while you are still fragile over your break up." Quinn spoke very gently and with sympathy for Rachel and Rachel closed her eyes at hearing the words she had been thinking while she sang.

When Rachel didn't respond Santana spoke up, "hey hobbit," she grunted when she felt Quinn's elbow dig into her tiny stomach. "Ugh … fine Quinn, geez. Berry! Is it okay with you or not?" Santana asked with less sensitivity. Santana did find the situation between the partners intriguing as well so that was just an added bonus.

Rachel looked up with sorrow piercing through her eyes and it left Quinn a little breathless seeing such hurt in someone's eyes. Rachel nodded silently in answer and stood from her seat on Quinn's bed with her eyes on the floor. She took a single step forward before she finally looked up and locked eyes with Quinn, "thank you Quinn, for everything. I … I really appreciate it." And there was nothing more to be said between them. Santana actually felt bad for the pint sized diva but she wasn't about to admit that to anyone. Sure she wasn't mean out of spite but she still didn't like showing vulnerability to anybody who wasn't in her small circle of trust. Santana was willing to help though and she was going to give that ex-boyfriend of Rachel's a piece of her mind. She understood what it was like to struggle with one's sexuality but that was no excuse for what he had done to the little diva and she would tell him exactly that and then some.

Rachel was bracing herself for what was to come, the finality of it all. She was getting dressed into the outfit she had worn the day before and she knew that she normally would have fussed over it but right now it was a reminder of what she had to do. She needed the closure so she was going to allow her friends to help her grab her things and go … but she was still deciding if she wanted to actually talk to Jesse one last time before she never looked back again.

So yes I know this chapter is late but I had a very busy and drama filled week with my mother outdoing herself with how bitchy she was. I really don't see her as anything other than the woman who gave birth to me now and that's a rather sad thought. Also you can see a few references to the Season 4 episode The Break-Up because what I saw of it was brilliant and I especially wanted to cry when I heard Darren Criss Sing _Teenage Dream_ the way he had. For the last arc of the chapter I was actually listening to it nonstop because it was brilliant. This chapter was a little longer than the average just to make up for the lateness of it.

Also as a note I have also been working on a book about my life so hopefully someday in the next few months it will be a published work and if it is so I will tell you all about it!^^ And please read it even if you don't buy it for me. Thank you for your patience!

姫宮光るより


	7. Get Out

Chapter 7

Get Out

Rachel was on auto-pilot the entire time she drove to her apartment with Jesse. She couldn't believe that he did something so low to her … something so vile and … just plain cruel. She had never thought any of those things possible for Jesse because he was a dream come true and then some. He was the perfect complement to her personality. They were the perfect match in almost every way she could think of. They had both dreamed of Broadway when they were in high school but though the dream never faded … they realized that their talent alone wasn't enough. They needed to better than the best of the best and they hadn't been so they found other career choices. Rachel's had originally been to be a therapist because she was passionate about helping people and she knew that sending Sunshine Corazon to a crack house had caused the girl nightmares she couldn't even imagine. It had been an empty warehouse from what she knew but she found out that it hadn't been as empty as she thought it was and someone had tried to grab her to do unspeakable things to her. And so she aspired to be a therapist to fix the hurts of others after she knew and understood what she had done to Sunshine.

She found out her freshman year that Sunshine got caught up in drugs and was killed by an overdose because of what she had done. It could only have been because of her irresponsible actions that that happened to an innocent person. She set out to become a police detective after that because then she would be the one who would help track down the evil in the world and capture them so they could pay their time for the crimes they had committed. This way she could help prevent others from facing the same fate and could help capture the wrong doers of this world to protect the innocents from getting hurt or killed. She did it so that she would be able to save the innocents from the evils done by the people who chose to do wrong and hurt others for it if not kill them. She would do right in memory of Sunshine Corazon and others like her.

She hadn't even realized that she had already parked in front of the apartment complex until she felt a hand on her shoulder, startling her from her thoughts. "Huh? Yes?" She looked up from the spot she had been staring at on the dashboard. She looked up to see hazel eyes looking back at her with worry showing in her eyes but her features remained neutral in spite of it.

"Are you all right Rachel? Are you sure you're feeling up to this? If you aren't its okay for you to just go back and relax and Santana and I can take care of this since I know the way to your apartment now." Rachel felt herself smile in response to Quinn's warmth and words. She knew that the blonde normally didn't show any emotions whatsoever so this was something the blonde, under normal circumstances, wouldn't say to her or even offer. She must really look terrible for Quinn to be so openly concerned. It wasn't in Quinn's nature to share whatever emotion she was feeling because she had grown up in such an unloving environment that she didn't really _know_ how to show emotions like anyone else. Her family had been all about never showing weakness in emotions … well other than anger from drunkenness and belligerent behavior due to such drunkenness. This was the life Quinn had grown up in and so it was only natural that she grew up showing just as much unfeeling and coldness to others.

Rachel pondered it only for a moment in real time before she answered, "I can do this, I can …" she took a moment to take a deep breath and when she let it out her entire demeanor had changed. She was ready now, truly ready, for what was to come with this visit. "I'm going to go in with you and Santana … I need the closure and I need to tell him something." Her face showed determination as she spoke her next few words, "I need to tell him that what he did hurt me but I'm not going to let it bring me down and I won't let him affect me and I'm going to move on and never look back." And with that said she opened the door and got out of Quinn's expensive looking car without another word while Quinn and Santana were left stunned in the car.

And then the Latina fireball got out of the car with quick movements and spoke her mind. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute here. I thought the agreement had been for me to make sure _he_ didn't see _you_ and not for you to go waltzing in with a speech about your break up to him." She wasn't one to mince words and her blunt nature showed strongly in moments like these.

Rachel paused in her movement to look back at the fierce Latina three inches taller than her coming to stand just a few inches away from her current location. Rachel glanced out of the corner of her eyes and saw that Quinn had stayed seated in her position and looked thoughtful in her car. Rachel turned her attention back to the woman standing only a few scant inches away from her and spoke with certainty, "I am going to talk to him and get the closure I need. I'll even do something that's a bit of a ritual between us … I'm going to sing a song to him that explains all of the emotions I'm feeling because of him. I'm going to express myself in the only way I really know how: through singing. It'll … it'll be my farewell to our relationship and what it means … what it meant to me." And with that last word she continued on her way into the apartment and Quinn finally left her car to stand by the confused Latina.

"What was that all about?" Santana asked with a slightly mystified expression on her face. Quinn only shook her head in response before taking her by the hand and leading her after where Rachel's form had disappeared into the apartment complex. "Whatever, not important anyway," she mumbled to no one in particular as she was tugged along behind her pensive blonde friend. Santana wondered what she was thinking about since she rarely ever expressed herself to others and even when she did to her it was hardly anything she really understood. The blonde was mysterious by nature and very closed and guarded so it didn't come as a surprise to her whenever the blonde said or did something she didn't understand. "Well this is certainly going to be interesting," Santana spoke her thought out loud when she heard the unmistakable voice of Rachel speaking with the infamous Jesse.

The closer they got to the door left slightly ajar the more they could actually hear of the conversation. "You should have just told me that you were gay Jesse! I wouldn't have cared that you were … I would have only been hurt by the fact that you chose to hide it and used me as a beard, _your_ gay beard of all things!"

And then an obviously masculine voice spoke up, "I just … I didn't know how to tell you and I'm sorry Rachel! I really am. I didn't mean for you to find out this way and I was … I was going to tell him soon about the fact that I was a closeted gay and I … you just found out before I could say anything to you. I really … I had no intention of you finding out this way." And there was a tense silence between them as Quinn and Santana entered the apartment.

Santana startled the both of them by speaking up, startling Rachel especially with what she said, "look, Jesse St. Garbage, I don't care for cheaters. I know how badly it hurts someone when they've been cheated on out of fear … well in my case it technically was me using someone else as a beard much to my girlfriend's disapproval and disappointment. You shouldn't have done it. She was hurt by you and you should have just told her from the get go that you didn't have those kinds of feelings for her instead of hurting her the way you have by staying in the gay closet as you have." Santana didn't know what she had been expecting but she hadn't been expecting the handsome, 5' 11", curly haired man she saw before her now. It was obvious to her the moment she saw him that he was gay because of her impeccable gay-dar. "I know it's so much easier being in the closet but it's also so very restricting and more harmful than it is good in most cases. Sometimes if you don't have a choice and you live somewhere where there's a lot of homophobia going on it's better to hide but … you didn't need to hide from her of all people. She is not homophobic in the least and she accepts homosexuals because that's who she's grown up to be with her two fathers raising her as they have." Santana took a much unexpected route with her speech. She surprised herself because she had been expecting some kind of explosive in the apartment herself when she stepped in and spoke up. She hadn't been expecting herself to be such a softie and speak so kindly to him. She couldn't stand cheaters and liars in her life but worst of all … she hated cruel people and she could see he had only done it out of fear.

He was looking at the ground. Though Santana's speech had started off harshly and biting it ended on a very soft and understanding note and it made Jesse realize just how much damage he had done to the diva. He loved her yes … but he didn't love her in a romantic way at all. He could only see her as a best friend, one he had grown up with and had almost become family with. He loved Rachel Barbra Berry so very dearly but he could only love her as a sister because of how his mind and body were wired. He was a homosexual man … gayer than he wanted to admit but he knew … it was over and that all he could do now was apologize and try to make up for the hurt he had caused his truest friend.

Quinn had been silent throughout the entire exchange and she finally spoke up. "We should go and pack your things now Rachel … just tell us where your room is and you can have some privacy while you two talk it out." Rachel could tell in the way Quinn looked that there was more on her mind than she was willing to say in front of someone who was barely an acquaintance to her. Rachel nodded her head and led them both to her room and they looked around to see that it was obviously her room alone. They both silently wondered how Rachel never realized with so many signs pointing out that he was obviously not sexually attracted to her … but they kept those thoughts silent.

"I have some boxes and containers you can both put my things in right here." She showed them to the spot next to her dresser and they saw that some things were still packed up but all of her essentials had been unpacked and there were empty boxes and containers there. "I was busy getting adjusted to the work hours when we first moved in so I never got around to unpacking everything." Rachel was a little embarrassed by it but she showed her embarrassment only in her speech and her slightly tinted cheeks. "Please keep everything organized by looking at each box and container for the label telling you what items should be inside. That's all I ask of you." She paused for a moment, staying in her position. "Thank you both … for everything you have done for me just by coming here. I know you didn't have to make the effort to do such things and I really, truly appreciate it."

Two things happened that surprised both Rachel and Santana in the next few moments. Quinn walked up to stand just several inches away from Rachel before she enveloped the other girl in a warm, protective embrace that she hadn't been expecting. And the second thing was Quinn's voice cracking as she spoke, "you … you're someone I care about so … of course I would help you Rachel." Rachel was slightly taken aback by such a gesture because she had only ever seen Brittany, very often, and Santana, seldom, hug Quinn. Quinn had _never_ initiated a hug with either of them that Rachel had ever seen and so it came as a bit of a shock to all of the occupants in the room. Quinn, herself, hadn't been expecting her body to do such a thing without her explicit permission. She would have to analyze her actions further later and figure out the meaning behind them.

"There's just one last thing I want to say … or rather do." Rachel spoke into the silent room, looking at Jesse with sad eyes. "I know … I know that you never meant to hurt me and I can only say this Jesse. Please don't talk to me right now for now. It might be weeks or even months before I forgive you for the betrayal that you caused me but … I promise that I _will_ get over it. I will have you get out of my life for some time before I can trust that I won't feel the hurt, the betrayal, over your actions. When that time comes … you can come back into my life but for now … please give me time and get out … stay out of my life."

Jesse wanted to say so much, wanted to beg, plead, and ask for her to let him explain but he had already heard enough of the sorrow in her voice and gave up on that. Besides that the Latina from earlier had said it all with what she had said to him. So he said a single word, "okay." He nodded his head. "So what is … no, no that's a stupid question," he said with a small smile on his face. "You're going to sing and you're going to leave me feeling just as heartbroken and sad as you by doing so." He said with a mirthless chuckle.

Rachel looked away from him, feeling a throb in her chest at the familiarity between them. She nodded her head and when she felt confident that she wasn't about to cry again she faced him. There was a heart wrenching look on her face as she looked right at him and started singing. Her chosen song … _Cry_.

If anyone asks,

I'll tell them we both just moved on

When people all stare

I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk

The look in her eyes when she sang could never have pierced Jesse's heart more as he saw how much she wanted to cry, how shattered she looked. She was looking at him with so much agony he couldn't help the feeling of throbbing ache pounding away at his chest. He actually brought a hand up to his chest and squeezed it from feeling the discomfort of such a thing.

Whenever I see you,

I'll swallow my pride

And bite my tongue

Pretend I'm okay with it all

Act like there's nothing wrong

Tears had gathered in her eyes and were swelling as she sang with all of the emotional heartache she was feeling poured through her in strong waves. Finally the dams broke and hot tears came crashing down her cheeks as strongly as a tidal wave knocked surfers off their boards. And Jesse's eyes had become red with guilt as he felt tears come to him as well, not quite falling yet but on the verge of such an action.

Is it over yet?

Can I open my eyes?

Is this as hard as it gets?

Is this what it feels like to really cry?

Cry

And more tears poured forth from her and Jesse finally couldn't hold it in anymore. His tears fell in hot streaks of sadness from having hurt his best friend and confidant to anger within himself for doing such a terrible thing to her and causing her to come to this point, to cry.

If anyone asks,

I'll tell them we just grew apart

Yeah what do I care?

If they believe me or not

The tears had stopped by this point and her eyes were closed as she concentrated on not allowing her voice to crack. She wanted this to be a farewell she would not be embarrassed by in the future after all … she wanted it to be dramatic and soulful and full of emotion. She wanted him to see how much he had hurt her by doing what he did and this was her goodbye to him.

Whenever I feel

Your memory is breaking my heart

I'll pretend I'm okay with it all

Act like there's nothing wrong

Her voice was so strong despite the tears that welled within her eyes again.

Is it over yet?

Can I open my eyes?

Is this as hard as it gets?

Is this what it feels like to really cry?

Cry

She forced herself to have composure at this point, drawing forth as much vocal prowess as she could for the emotional climax of the song.

I'm talking in circles

I'm lying, they know it

Why won't this just all go away~?

Jesse, Quinn, and Santana were left speechless by such a powerful note. Surely everyone in the apartment had heart it but none of the neighbors were thumping on her door or banging on the doors or floor to shout for quiet. It was perhaps due to the fact that the sorrow in her voice could not be denied and that such an epically dramatic and powerful voice like hers could never be denied or booed. For whatever reason no one was calling for quiet in the wake of such a loud, powerful, and emotionally sound note that was left silence in the wake of her singing.

Is it over yet?

Can I open my eyes?

Is this as hard as it gets?

Is this what it feels like to really cry?

She sang this part so softly that everyone in the apartment building struggled to hear it but for Jesse, with Quinn and Santana hearing it in a muffled way.

Cry

Cry

She ended the song with a little vibrato in her voice and it was loud enough that Quinn and Santana had been able to hear it clearly. Jesse then stood where he had been standing since Rachel first entered the apartment and watched as they brought all of her things out. As hard as he tried he couldn't stop the tears of guilt from welling up and falling over and over again. That was the last he saw of her for several weeks, months.

There was something in the silent air that caused a kind of quiet feeling of suppressed feelings between them. Quinn wasn't sure if she had imagined what had happened the day before or not and Rachel hadn't once mentioned the fact and so Quinn was left feeling uneasy about it. It was all Quinn had been thinking about since they came home a few hours ago. Rachel had been quiet and her silence was most likely due to the fact that she was still thinking about what had happened between her and her former lover. Quinn was contemplating whether or not she had been the one who had just wistfully imagined Rachel leaning in closer solely because she was extremely attracted to her partner. She was far more than attracted to her now that she thought about it … so many aspects of Rachel called out to her. First there was the fact that she was highly intelligent, a huge turn on, she had a quirky personality that Quinn was growing more and more in like with, she was wildly attractive despite the fact that she barely wore any makeup on her face … her body … God her body. Quinn was glad for the fact that they weren't facing each other because she was sure Rachel would have noticed the red tint her cheeks must have taken on immediately.

Rachel was the one who broke the silence with a very personal question, one Quinn hadn't been anticipating. "What did your parents do to you Quinn?" Quinn was thrown off guard entirely and didn't know what to say in response.

"Pardon me Rachel … but what?" Quinn was so taken aback by the question.

Rachel realized how vague the question was and actually brought her hand up and smacked herself on the forehead. "I'm sorry I … please forget that I asked." Rachel said now a little nervous sounding. Rachel was an open book whereas Quinn was the ultimate poker player.

Quinn wanted to know what she meant and so she asked her again to clarify despite Rachel's apparent escape from the question. "No, please tell me what you mean. I … I don't know where that question came from and I want to know." Quinn wasn't sure where the questioning had come from but she wanted to know what it was Rachel was asking about, where the question had been come from. Rachel was hesitant but looking into the hazel eyes full of mysteries and warmth she had never seen on anyone else's face before … she couldn't look away. She tried to break eye contact but Quinn used her hand to turn her chin up so that their eyes were locked in an intense gaze yet again. Quinn tried again, softly whispering in the air between them, "please?" And that was all it took for Rachel's hesitance to melt away and become replaced with emotions she had never felt in her life before for another person.

"I … it's just that … I overheard part of your conversation with Santana yesterday. She seemed to be very emotional and adamant about being angry for you and I figured out that you must have been talking about your parents. I started singing after I overheard part of it so I wouldn't be eavesdropping anymore than I had already been accidentally but what I did overhear … it concerns me. I just … I don't want to pry into your life, Quinn, but … I'm concerned that you never seem to want to talk about it … I believe you need therapy. From what I overheard I think you have PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from having such a terrible thing happen to you, whatever it is. You said that you have trouble sleeping because of the nightmares and such things that prevent you from sleeping. If the memories of whatever has happened to you affect you even now … it leads me to believe that you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in some shape or form Quinn." Rachel's reasoning was quite accurate and though Quinn would normally have lashed out at her by this point she couldn't bring herself to do something like that to her. It was in her nature to actually do something like that, lash out angrily, ever since the incident that had happened when she was 17.

Quinn's heart started racing and she started sweating as memories swarmed her from what had happened that awful day. She remembered it like it had happened yesterday … the day her father tried to kill her. The memories of how he used his hands, hands that were supposed to love her, to hit her, punch her, and take a hold of her neck in a tight grip; all of those memories enveloped her in the memory of what happened. It had been over her refusal to talk to him. He had become angry at her for refusing to come down the stairs from her room to talk to him and he had come charging up the stairs, stomping his feet, until he started banging on the door until finally it burst open from the force of his blows. The moment he came in, adrenaline rushing through his veins, his fists were clenched in a threatening manner and before Quinn could even react; his hands were around her neck. She was struggling to breathe almost immediately and he had her on the ground as her hands came up uselessly to try and get those powerful hands from around her neck. Before she could do much else she felt herself losing consciousness and it became evident that he intended to kill her for good this time. She could smell that there was no alcohol on his breath and that meant that he had no excuse for what he was doing now, for what he was clearly attempting to do with those strong hands. She lost consciousness before long so she didn't know that her mother had come up and pulled him off of her. She didn't know that her mother had protected and defended her from him afterwards and had threatened to call the police if he laid another hand on her … it was the last time he ever hurt Quinn.

Quinn was broken out of her nightmare by the feel of someone jerking her hands away from her head. She looked up into warm dark chocolate eyes instead of the blue eyes she had been expecting to see. Her face showed her confusion as she looked into caring dark brown eyes instead of the hateful blues she had been expecting to see when she opened her eyes. "You're not … who I was expecting to see when I opened my eyes." Quinn was breathing erratically and she was nervous sounding as she spoke and Rachel could feel the tension in Quinn's entire demeanor.

Rachel shook her head gently and took Quinn's hands into her own tenderly, "no I'm not. I'm not sure who you were expecting to see but I'm not them. It's Rachel." Quinn sank down, face first, into Rachel's lap as she tried to calm herself down from the adrenaline rush of having been in a world full of fear just moments before. "I'm your partner and I would never hurt you." Rachel carefully turned Quinn around so that she was laying with the back of her head on her lap and she brought a hand, still entwined with Quinn's, up so she could rub the back of it over her forehead. "You're sweating so badly Quinn. Everything's okay Quinn, you're safe here with me in your apartment. You're not where it happened." Rachel was reassuring Quinn with some things she had learned in her psychology class before she switched majors.

Quinn was slowly calming down and so Rachel decided to soothe Quinn in the best way she knew how: by singing.

You're not alone

Together we stand

I'll be by your side; you know I'll take your hand

When it gets cold

And it feels like the end

There's no place to go

You know I won't give in

No I won't give in

Keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Just stay strong

'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

There's nothing you could say

Nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

There was a silence that followed Rachel's singing before quietly Quinn spoke up, "I … I really love listening to your voice Rachel. It's so soothing and powerful that I can't help but become relaxed and become completely drawn in by it every time I hear you sing." Quinn's breathing had calmed down significantly and she no longer had a dazed look in her eyes. Her eyes were clear now and Rachel could see that Quinn was relaxed now instead of the uneasiness within her only moments before when she had been stuck in reliving her worst nightmare.

"I'm glad you're feeling better Quinn." Rachel wanted to ask so badly but she knew that it might cause Quinn to go back to her agitated state and relive it yet again and Rachel didn't want to risk it. Rachel leaned down and pressed a kiss against Quinn's forehead and Quinn felt heat rise to her cheeks for a completely different reason than her trigger to an awful memory from her past. "You don't … you truly don't deserve to live with such a terrible weight bearing down on you like that and I wish … I wish I could take it all away. I wish I could ease the ache of something so terrible that it leaves you feeling like this. Is there …" Rachel paused to catch her breath before picking up where she left off, "is there anything I can do to help ease your pain?" Rachel pressed her forehead against Quinn as she looked into her eyes. Quinn was normally very unreceptive to people touching her and often times avoided it but for whatever reason she was okay with Rachel's touch. She didn't shy away as she normally would and she even went as far as welcomed it right now.

Quinn closed her eyes and Rachel thought it was a shame to not see the beautiful hazel orbs but said nothing about it as she awaited a response. Quinn knew what she wanted to ask for but she was hesitant in asking because she was shy very often about asking for what she wanted or needed. Sometimes Santana would become impatient with her for it but Santana always regretted losing her temper and apologized profusely to her after she lost herself in her impatience. Quinn shook her head slowly and turned her head away from Rachel's probing gaze and found herself face to face with Rachel despite her efforts anyway when she tilted her chin over.

"Quinn?" Quinn wanted to be petulant for a moment and close her eyes but she settled for a pout and Rachel giggled at the action. "You are so cute Quinn. You're like an adorable little, petulant child when you pout at me like that. I just …" Rachel looked away for a moment as she spoke her next words, "I want to pinch your cheeks. I just feel the sudden urge to do so sometimes because of how cute you can be when you relax and let go like this." Rachel admitted shyly as she looked into Quinn's eyes yet again. Quinn was then surprised by her sudden urge to just lean forward and connect their lips but instead she turned her head away as her cheeks burned red at the thought. "What's wrong Quinn? Your cheeks are red!" Rachel said loudly with worry laced in her voice. The next thing Quinn knew Rachel's forehead was pressed against hers again, "you're burning up Quinn! Please don't tell me you have a fever!" Rachel exclaimed suddenly.

Quinn shook her head. "No! No, I'm okay I just … I had an embarrassing thought so I … so I … yeah," Quinn said nervously. Rachel turned a skeptical gaze at Quinn but nodded her head regardless in acceptance of her answer.

_I wonder what that was about_, Rachel thought suspiciously.

"I think I should go to bed now Rachel." Quinn tried to get up but found that Rachel's face was too close to hers for her to get up, impeding her departure. Rachel was looking down at her with a suspicious gaze and Quinn expertly avoided her gaze after realizing that Rachel wasn't going to move any moment soon. "Um … Rachel … please excuse me." Quinn said with a nervous flair to her words. It was obvious that Quinn wasn't saying something to Rachel but Rachel wasn't quite sure what it was and was deciding if she wanted to ask or not. She decided that it was better not to pry and that whatever it was, if it was important she would tell her about it.

"Okay but just remember that … you can tell me anything Quinn, _anything_. It doesn't matter if you think it's something that you shouldn't bother me with because nothing you do or say will ever be a bother to me." Rachel was looking into Quinn's eyes again and Quinn suddenly forgot what it was like to actually breathe … forgot that she was supposed to breathe in order to live.

Quinn nodded her head and left it at that and got up from Rachel and they both got ready for bed. They had to wake up early for work tomorrow and so when they actually got into bed it wasn't quite 9:30 yet. They would have to be up by 5 that next morning and so they lay in bed next to each other, as they had the night before and the night before that. They ended up tangled up in each other throughout the night anyways and they both figured in the morning that it was what they're bodies just naturally wanted them to do and there was no use arguing with nature. Quinn again fell into the best sleep she had in a very long time and she was starting to realize that it was all thanks to the brunette who had come into her life so very suddenly. She could get used to sleeping again.

So this is the next chapter and it's a bit shorter than the average and my sincerest apologies for that. Also I apologize for it being later as well. I've been busy with the book and life in general. I went to the amusement park with my older sister on Friday night and it was a blast having people try to scare me at Fright Night! I hope this chapter didn't disappoint and I hope for some nice reviews!^^

姫宮光る


	8. Denial

Chapter 8

Denial

When Quinn and Rachel got into the office that morning Santana was sporting a Cheshire cat grin on her face. It was like she had heard the funniest joke and was still smiling about it … or the proverbial cat that ate the canary look. Either way it set Quinn on edge. Santana only ever looked that way when she knew something that would make her flip around, throw it off kilter. Quinn didn't like what that look meant for her one bit. It was something she had never quite liked when it came to the end result of seeing Santana with that expression on her face. It always ended in Quinn losing something … usually her dignity in many cases. She was very right in this case because as soon as Quinn was within speaking distance of Santana, Santana motioned her over to her.

Quinn approached with a cautious air around her that was only noticeable to those who knew her well. "What is it Santana?" She regretted asking almost as soon as the words came out of her mouth simply because of the way Santana's expression of delight grew.

"Did you guys fuck yet?" Quinn inhaled quickly and immediately started spluttering, incapable of speaking properly in that moment.

"Wai— wha— San— I … what?" Santana's laughter was slightly maniacal in response to Quinn's flustered state.

"Relax Q, I'm just playing. I just knew your reaction would be funny. You know me," there was a twinkling in her eyes that Quinn did not like the looks of. "I'm a practical jokester."

Quinn didn't find her 'joke' funny in the least and told her as much. "Look I know that you're okay with getting girls who are on the rebound but I'm not and … I wouldn't do that to Rachel. She's my partner for one so she's off limits and I have more dignity than to try and hook up with a girl after she's had her heartbroken they way she has." There was a gentle softness and tenderness to her voice and Santana picked up on it immediately.

Santana was smirking as she spoke, unperturbed by Quinn's slightly insulting jab at her. "It's called striking while the iron's hot Q. You know me. I strategize and the best moment to get laid is by finding someone vulnerable from a break up. Besides it's never awkward because it was a one night stand that stopped at just that. Besides the chances of actually meeting a one night stand again in real life are like slim to none from my experience and you know I'm experienced." There was something about Santana's tone that suggested that there was more to what she was saying but she wasn't letting on what it was. The Latina was planning something and Quinn could sense it from her demeanor. Just exactly what it was though the blonde had no clue but she knew whatever it was it had something to do with both Rachel and her. She knew not to be worried about whether it was legal or not. Those days were over for Santana … but in regards to how morally correct it would be … that was a completely different story for sure. Quinn knew there was nothing she could truly do to find out because the Latina was very crafty and knew how to work in secret a little too well. She would just have to wait and see what the Latina had in store and pray that it was something that would not end up causing her to die from humiliation or something just as bad.

When they finally caught the woman behind all of the recent murders she truly was not in her right mind. She was obviously mentally ill and needed professional help. She had been talking to people that no one else could see. She was also a rather tall woman, 5' 11", and so it was no wonder Sam and Puck had mistaken her for a man. She had a deep voice for a woman and she was put into a mental hospital from trial because there was no way to convict a woman for her crimes if she wasn't in a coherent, clear state of mind. It had taken a while to find her because she had hidden her ailment well somehow at first but the longer she was around others the more apparent it became that she wasn't in her right mind. She also because she had a good hiding place hidden away from other people while being somewhere that was in fact a neighborhood.

Quinn had mixed feelings about the trial and the case. One the one hand she was grateful that the right person had been caught but on the other hand … she knew that this woman would be plagued by the sins of what she had done. She would come back to reality after taking medication and she would realize with horror what she had done and it would be heartbreaking tale. This woman's life was never going to be the same ever again and her brother had cried for her dearly at the trials. He wished that he had been able to protect her from everything that had occurred but he couldn't have known what to do. His only family was going to jail now and he could do no more than pray for her to be safe always and for her to forgive herself after she woke up from her disease.

Quinn didn't know what she would do if she was in this woman's shoes. She only knew that she pitied her greatly for unknowingly committing so many crimes like she had only to have people wake her up from it with medication. Quinn would be devastated by such a fact and she knew that she would never be able to forgive herself if it were her who woke up from a fog to discover … to remember such horrid things. What would she do if she were this poor woman? She would most likely try to end her life in all honesty if it had been her. She hoped this woman would be okay and that she would realize that none of it had truly been her fault since she wasn't in her right mind when all of the murders occurred.

She was brought out of her reverie by a warm hand gently touching her shoulder. She looked up, startled, and saw that it was Rachel looking down at her in concern. "Are you okay?" She looked around at her surroundings to see that she had been in her office and she had apparently spaced out. She shook her head slightly and felt a shiver run through her at the sensation of mentally shaking herself out of her thoughts.

"Yeah I'm … I-I'm okay, just … just lost in thought." She was normally much more graceful and articulate with her words but the feeling of Rachel's warm hand resting on her shoulder had her flustered.

Rachel raised her eyebrows in a way that spoke to Quinn. That look said 'are you sure that's all it is?' while all she did was look at Quinn. Finally Rachel broke the silence that had passed between them. "Is that all that's bothering you, Quinn?" Quinn opened her mouth to say something but the words just didn't come and so she ended up closing her mouth after a moment of being unable to speak.

Quinn didn't know quite how to describe what she was feeling at the moment but for Rachel she would try. "It's just that … the case … it doesn't sit well with me." Quinn paused trying to think of a way to say what it was she had been thinking. "I feel as if … well, if I was that woman … I would have wanted to get the death penalty because … I wouldn't want to live through all of the memories of those crimes I committed while I was … not in the right state of mind." Rachel looked down at Quinn incredulously.

"Quinn!" Rachel didn't know what to think after hearing such a bold statement said with such profound seriousness. It scared Rachel a little to hear that kind of thing coming out of Quinn's mouth. The thought that Quinn would rather die than live if she were in that woman's shoes made Rachel feel ill and at unease. "You can't … you just can't say something like that!" Rachel was very upset.

Quinn was quick to jump in and interrupt the speech that was very obviously going to come out of her mouth any moment now. "Rachel, wait! Please let me explain what I mean by that before you say something in return." Rachel took a deep breath and nodded her head for Quinn to continue. "What it is … it's just that … I wouldn't want to live with having the memories of those sins I committed. It would … it would just kill me little by little, piece by piece, to have to remember all of those terrible, horrible things I had done. I wouldn't want to live with those nightmares, those sins plaguing me and weighing me down with the weight of each murder. Can you … can you just imagine what it would be like having to relive those memories in nightmares? It would be a constant ache that I would have to remember day after day even if I didn't want to, even if I wish to forget it all." Quinn paused to let Rachel really take in everything she said, the emotions in her voice and everything else. "Would you want to live with those sins? Would you want to live with those kinds of thoughts and memories haunting you every waking moment and even in sleep?"

Rachel always knew there was something more to this pretty face she was getting to know so well. It had been over three weeks now since they first met and Rachel had known that first moment their eyes met that there was just something so … different about Quinn. She hadn't even known her name 23 days ago but now she knew so many things about her. She knew that as strong of a front Quinn put on she was very sensitive, however well hidden she kept this part of her, and she was insanely intelligent. She was very generous and kind behind her aloof appearance and so very shy and timid despite how fierce she seemed in front of others. Rachel had never felt so strongly about someone before in her life. She cared so deeply for Quinn despite all of the imperfections that Quinn had shown her when they first met. All of Quinn's imperfections just made her all the more perfect when she revealed the pieces of her she kept hidden away from others. Rachel knew she loved Quinn already, that Quinn was someone she considered a dear, cherished friend.

"Okay." Rachel took a deep breath and spoke her side. "As much pain as you might be in, would you be okay with me wishing for death row despite everything … if it had been me?" Quinn's eyes widened in surprise and a shiver ran up her body at the thought. "It may be a punishment to live with the sins and memories weighing me down but if you continue to live you can atone for what you've done. If you live you can give yourself a second chance. We, as humans, make mistakes. We grow though and we learn from them. This woman … as much as she may despise what she has done, abhor it even, she has a brother that she can still live for. She can also make up for what she did by never allowing herself to slip up with her medication ever again and doing whatever she can to make up for what she has done, to find redemption." Quinn had never thought of it that way. She had never even considered that to be an option … living with the sins and guilt but trying to find redemption by living.

Quinn was stunned by what Rachel had said and so she was slightly inarticulate with her next words. "I … I never really … I hadn't thought of that as being … you know … a viable option. I never even … considered that." She said sheepishly. Her cheeks were a soft shade of pink from her feelings of embarrassment over having not thought of something so simple and obvious. "I just … my family taught me a certain way of thinking that I'm still stuck on sometimes even though I try not to. It's still hard for me because … I grew up thinking a certain way and now it's like second nature for me to just fall into one way of thinking even if it isn't necessarily the right answer." Quinn looked at the floor sheepishly for a moment. "I'm trying but sometimes … it's like I can never escape their influence on me and even though it hurts to admit that … it hurts even more to think that I haven't done enough to separate them from my life now."

Rachel wasn't sure what to make of Quinn's statements. She wanted to stop thinking the way her family taught her to think. She knew, to a very limited extent, that Quinn's family didn't have the best relationship with her and something had occurred under their roof that caused her such severe trauma that she certifiably had PTSD. There was no doubt in Rachel's mind that Quinn was suffering from that disorder because of how Quinn had reacted that night little more than a week ago. Rachel wondered what event had caused the blonde so much pain that she was still suffering from it even now. Quinn needed serious help and the department's psychologist was a very kind woman by the name of Emma Pillsbury. She really knew psychology and she could help Quinn but … Rachel didn't quite know how to broach the subject with Quinn.

"Quinn … it's okay. I … from the very limited knowledge I have of your family … I can already say that they weren't good to you. They didn't do what all parents are supposed to do and they hurt you terribly with their way of raising you. I don't know to what extent they may have abused you but from what I have seen they treated you horribly and may have even abused you if last week's incident is good indication." Rachel paused here, unable to continue. She wanted to ask Quinn to see Emma desperately but she wasn't sure if the blonde would be okay with her asking about it. They had never discussed Quinn seeking help before and so it was all new territory for them.

"I … I don't want to talk about this anymore Rachel … please." Quinn was looking at Rachel with desperation and anxiety in her eyes.

Rachel nodded her head in acquiesce. "Okay. I understand Quinn … but please promise me something?"

Quinn looked hesitant but she nodded her head all the same, "what is it I'm promising?"

A deeply inhaled breath was heard before Rachel spoke, "promise me that you'll find help in some shape or form. Promise me that you'll find someone who can help you heal all of your emotional scars because I want you to be okay after whatever it is that has happened to you. I want you to be able to say that you are okay and mean it and eventually happy and content with your life, Quinn." Quinn looked so small and young in that moment. There was weariness in her that Rachel hadn't noticed until just now. It was all so very sad and heartrending for Rachel to see in someone she cared about so much.

Rachel placed her hand over Quinn's soft and cold hand to encourage her. "I … I," Quinn was floundering, struggling, and searching for the words, that wouldn't come to her easily. She wanted to say no … she wanted to scream and shout about how she didn't need help … but a part of her knew that it was her family roots and that it wasn't right for her to do so. A part of her knew that Rachel was only concerned and wanted to help her and only that. She didn't have any ulterior motives for what she was asking and she definitely didn't have a hidden vendetta. So before she could talk herself out of it she made a promise she knew she had to keep, "okay." And that was all she needed to say. The smile that lit up Rachel's face was worth all of the struggling Quinn went through to say that single word. She knew she really liked Rachel and she couldn't help it when her heart beat just a little bit faster. Her breath caught in her throat when Rachel squeezed her hand and brought her hand up to her lips.

"Thank you." Quinn knew she was lost to her feelings when a whimper fought to be heard. Quinn was caught and she knew it.

"Speak."

Quinn had called Santana the night before and invited her out for Coffee and Santana knew without a doubt in her mind that Quinn wanted to talk about the tiny diva that got on her nerves. Santana didn't even need Quinn to say anything for her to figure out why it was she wanted to talk to her. Their code word for 'talk' was 'coffee' after all. Even Kurt had figured it out at some point and he wasn't even part of their inner circle of three.

Quinn swallowed passed the lump in her throat as she spoke hesitantly. "How do I … well … I want to ask Rachel to sleep in my guest room instead of with me." And that threw the Latina for a loop. She had thought that Quinn was going to tell her that she liked Rachel. She had been expecting that bomb to drop instead of this nuclear attack. Her mind just blew up because she had no idea that this was what Quinn was going to ask about.

Quinn noticed the way it shocked the Latina momentarily before she masked her expression and she wondered why it was Santana had done that. She knew that meant that the Latina hadn't been suspecting it but it was so because she had been expecting something else. "Why?" she asked coolly, keeping herself calm and unflustered as she asked. That made Quinn's eyebrow rise in her infamous Fabray eyebrow raise. Everyone at the office knew about it and joked about how it meant that Quinn was about to give someone a firm butt (ass for certain people) kicking.

Quinn only reflected her extreme discomfort in her steely gaze. The colder she looked the more uncomfortable she was in most cases. Santana knew this well and her eyebrow rose in intrigue. "I just … I'm used to sleeping by myself so I … I'm uncomfortable with sleeping in the same bed as Rachel," _because we cuddle and she wears practically nothing to sleep._ The underlying and unspoken words were thoughts in Quinn's mind because she couldn't bring herself to tell Santana the whole truth behind it.

"You're lying to me." Santana said and when Quinn was about to say otherwise Santana cut her off, "half truths are half lies and you know it. So spit. What's the real reason Fabray?" Santana's tone had some mirth in it so Quinn didn't feel nearly as guilty for not telling her the true reason in its entirety to the Latina. "You know that you can never lie to me so spill." Santana was being demanding but it was only so she could get the answers she wanted from Quinn and so Quinn took no offense.

"Look … I'm a whole heck of a lot confused about my feelings right now so please just … don't push me for answers right now. I can't really say anything because I'm not in any position to talk about my feelings right now." There was a pause … "she asked me to find professional help for … what my father did. She doesn't know what he did but she … she wants to help me and she wants me to find help to get over what he did." There was silence between them when Quinn made a move to get up. Santana caught her by her arm though. She shook her head. "I just don't know what to do okay? I don't like all of these feelings that she makes me feel so … that's what it's going to have to be like. I can't have her around me when I don't even know what I'm feeling half the time anymore."

Santana's expression softened over the blonde's outburst. "Don't push yourself Quinn." Santana's grip slackened before she let go entirely only to take a hold of her hand instead. "You _do_ know what it is you're feeling … you just don't want to risk getting hurt because she had a boyfriend she was obviously in love with. They dated for what … five years maybe six. You know that you like her but you don't want her figuring it out do you?" Santana was going for the kill. She knew she needed to say what had to be said for Quinn because it was the only way to get her to admit what she didn't want to say openly. Quinn hesitated before she gave an almost imperceptible nod. It was barely an inclination of her head but it was an admission nonetheless.

"Yes," she whispered so softly Santana barely heard her, but the admission was enough to move Santana into giving Quinn the advice she wanted but not without ample warning to her.

Santana looked right into Quinn's panicked eyes, "listen to what your heart is telling you. Don't fight yourself over this, Q. I know that the mind is a scary place because you know I've been there with Brittany … with all of the shit that went down in high school and my gay panic. You know about all of that and how much it hurt both of us … Brittany more than me. We got over everything because our love was more than worth everything that happened … but imagine what it would have been like if things didn't happen that way. I think we both would have been broken permanently if we didn't come together and talk about what was happening then." Santana let her words sink in for a moment. "I know it sounds cheesy, cliché, and so typical of someone in love but … the best thing is to not question what you're feeling over what you think. I know it's so hard because it's like a war going on inside of you, a battle of wills, but you're going to break your own damn heart if you let your mind psyche you out and make the decisions for you. I know you're not afraid of what you're feeling for her because you've known for years that you like girls and you even dated one for a while. What's getting to you though is the fact that she's your partner and you've barely known her for that long." Quinn looked away from Santana's gaze for a moment before her eyes came flitting back in an answer louder than any words she could have spoken. "She's hot and she's everything you've ever dreamed of in another person. She's your list without trying hard to be _it_ for you and that scares you. She's shown you something that you've never found in anyone else: an intelligence that matches your own."

Quinn gave Santana a look that spoke volumes of her unrest and uneasy feelings. "I'd ask you how you know all of this but I already know the answer to that and it would be cliché of me to make you say it. We've known each other since we were in diapers together." Quinn muttered her next words as a spoken thought, "I _still_ don't know how our mothers were such good friends considering they are _complete_ opposites in every way."

Santana had to agree with those sentiments because she still didn't know how her mother could be friends with Judy Fabray of all people. Judy Fabray wasn't anything like her husband but she still married a hypocrite of a man who did nothing but preach about the way everyone should be while not following it himself. Santana also knew that Quinn was alive now because of her mother. She had overheard part of a conversation between her mother and Judy when it happened. At first she hadn't understood what was going on since she only heard her mother's side of the conversation. She had heard her mother cursing some man in Spanish and yelling about how some man could even think to put his hands on his daughter let alone choke her. It hadn't been until Santana was in college herself that Quinn finally told her the real reason she had been in the hospital. Brittany had never looked sadder in her life. She never expected something so cruel and horrible to happen to her best friend. Worse than the thought of losing Santana and never being with her again … Brittany almost lost her best friend forever.

Santana didn't make the connections at first upon hearing her best friend's tale but she suspected. There was a niggling in the back of her mind that said that there was something about it that sounded familiar to her. It was two weeks later that she made the connection between her mother's frantic phone call and Quinn's story. She had been livid and sad all at once. She remembered her mother asking if whoever it was called the police and if she was able to save her daughter. She did say that she managed to save her daughter at least from what Santana gathered. She had heard her mother say 'thank god' to something but then only moments later a frustrated 'dios mio' left her mouth. Just from hearing that alone it made Santana realize that it had to have been Judy Fabray who her mother had been talking to that night.

She was brought out of her thoughts by Quinn squeezing her hand and jostling it around to get her attention. "Hm?" Santana hadn't meant to get lost in her thoughts but Quinn's comment brought her back to a dark time in both of their lives.

"Where did you go just now?" Quinn asked softly. She could tell that Santana was thinking about something very serious. Or at least she had been until Quinn decided she didn't want to just stare at Santana's thoughtful face anymore because she felt like a bit of a creep.

Santana shook her head slightly to get rid of the thoughts that had come unbidden. "Nowhere Q, I was just thinking about how weird our mothers' relationship always did seem to me." Santana looked thoughtful and almost poignant from what Quinn could see of her expression. Almost as soon as it came it went away and Santana was back to being Santana. "Don't be a coward like me and shy away from what you're feeling but don't chase her either because you're not sure how she feels about you other than the fact that you're partners. If you really want her to sleep elsewhere then you can go ahead and ask her but don't lie to her about why because that would just build up an empire of hurt when she founds out the _real_ reason you don't want her sleeping in the same bed as her." Santana was quite serious. "It's either tell her the truth or just don't say anything at all. Lying hurts more than the person who speaks it … it hurts everyone who hears it." Santana was always speaking wisdom when it came to something serious and she made no apologies for it. She often spoke many truths that made it hard for Quinn to do what she usually wanted to do: run away from everything.

Quinn shook her head at the Latina with the tiniest smile curving her lips upward. "You are impossibly wise when you're serious about something San. You know this because Brittany's the same way only hers usually only make sense to us because she thinks differently than most people." There was a pause as they both thought about 'gay sharks' and Brittany's take on them. They even said it out loud simultaneously and smiled over it.

A seriousness came over them both again as Santana spoke up once more. "Seriously though, Q, make the right decision for you so you don't regret it. You _can_ talk to her about this if it will make it easier on you but just do whatever you think is right, whatever _feels_ right to you Q. That way you won't have any regrets after the fact."

They enjoyed their talk despite the serious nature it took on after Santana's slightly comical surprise; however well hidden it truly was to any onlookers. Quinn left feeling a little bit better about her situation with Rachel. She had to think about what she wanted to do though, how she wanted to handle what she was going to say to Rachel, if anything at all.

It was Saturday evening and Quinn and Rachel were settling in for a movie marathon. They would be watching some classic horror movies from Quinn's very expansive collection of movies. The woman literally had movies from every genre imaginable in her home theater collection and then some. She had very eclectic tastes after all and she even surprised Rachel by having Broadway classics made into films and Broadway productions filmed from the very theater they had taken place in and sold very limitedly when they came out. Rachel literally swooned at the sight of titles like _Wicked_, _Funny Girl_, _My Fair Lady_, _Les Misérables_, _Evita_, _Cats_,etc. They were the originals and they were all legendary and she swore that she just fell in love with Quinn a little bit over seeing them for the first time just the week before.

Rachel was cuddled up to a little stuffed lion she had and she laid her head on Quinn's shoulder as the beginning of 'Ringu' started. This was a subtitled version just for American audiences who wanted to experience the original firsthand even if they needed subtitles in order to understand it. Despite the fact that it was a 1996 movie the quality was quite good for an older movie considering what the technological advancements of today had to boast. Rachel cooed at the little boy in the movie quite a bit because he really was quite the adorable little Asian tike and she was probably imagining what Mike would have looked like when he was just a young toddler.

When Sadako was first shown Rachel squealed quite adorably and latched onto Quinn's available arm and hid her face into the crook of Quinn's neck. The corner of Quinn's lips quirked up into her small smile at the brunette's extremely endearing and adorable reaction to seeing something scary. Quinn put her free arm around Rachel as she watched Rachel peek over at the large LCD screen after a few moments only to look away again. Quinn wanted so badly to coo at her and fuss over her scared partner but withheld the urge with barely there restraint. _She's being so freaking cute! I can't stand it!_ Quinn decided cooing in her head was the safest option considering Rachel wouldn't be able to hear her thoughts.

Quinn was barely watching the movie and was concentrating more on watching Rachel's reaction to the movie since she had already watched it several times since she first bought it. Sadako's character design was more haunting than the look of Samara from the American remake from what Quinn had seen. Rachel liked watching scary things just to be scared and she was definitely being scared now. She was now nestled into Quinn's shoulder and watching with rapt attention until something scary happened, during which she would bury her head into Quinn's neck again. Quinn's heart raced every time she felt Rachel's breath on her skin and felt her reaction to the movie.

Quinn didn't even realize that the movie was over until Rachel gently extracted herself from Quinn and stood up from her seat. Quinn fought the feeling of disappointment washing through her as best she could for a moment before she gave up on that venture. She looked up to see the ending credits rolling and grabbed the remote beside her to open the DVD player. "What do you want to watch next?" Quinn asked this mostly to distract herself from the thoughts running through her head. The other part of her just wanted to let the brunette watch whatever she wanted so she could watch her react to whatever movie it was they would be watching. She liked watching her reaction not only because it was amusing but also because she was the most adorable creature she had ever met. There were a plethora of reasons for the blonde to like the brunette and she seemed to only find more with each passing day they spent together.

Rachel went up to the entertainment center and took a long look at all of the available movie options. She narrowed down her search to just a few different genres when she heard an amused laughter. She looked up, mirth in her eyes, and looked over to the softly chuckling blonde. "What? What's so funny?" The blonde merely shook her head and continued to smile her slightly upturned lip smile that Rachel found mysterious. She never knew what the blonde was thinking when she had that kind of smile on her face, with the slight upturn of the corner of her lips. "Seriously … what's the joke?" Rachel really wanted to know because she had to know everything that was going on no matter how trivial it might be, even if it was a trifling matter she needed to know.

Quinn shrugged her shoulders in response and the tiny brunette huffed out a breath of frustration. The diva continued to look at her until she gave in to her demands to know what it was Quinn found so funny. "Okay … okay I'll tell you." Quinn looked serious as she said this. "You … are … so …" she left pauses in between each word which aggravated Rachel just a tiny bit in a good way. She was hanging on to every word the blonde spoke and nodding along in slight exasperation. She was too impatient for her own good after all. "Very … _PICKY!_" Quinn yelled the last word to startle Rachel and it worked perfectly because the little diva gave a jump and her eyes were wide in surprise. She hadn't been expecting the blonde to suddenly raise her voice. She placed a hand over her heart as it raced but she didn't know if it was due to being startled or if it was because of the delight written all over Quinn's face. It was probably the latter.

"Quinn! Don't do that to a girl! You could have given me a heart attack!" Rachel's eyes held mirth within them despite the disapproving tone she was speaking with. "I, for the longest time, was paranoid about burglars coming into my parents' house and I once even went as far as giving my father a black eye because he had come up to get me for dinner." Quinn's laughter grew from giggling to true laughter looking at Rachel, in all of her seriousness, talk about giving her own father a black eye. "What? He's a very athletic, tall black man and he should have known better than to approach his daughter while she was listening to music on her iPod while she had earphones in. He nearly gave me a heart attack and I swung my arm around and managed to sock him right on the skin under his eye." There was just something funny about her delivery and the way her entire body seemed to tell the tale. "I felt _terrible_ after I realized what I had done but he only laughed and it made me feel so much better about it but … well I just socked my own father in the eye because I thought he was a burglar. That was definitely not his favorite welcome home present from me, that's for sure."

Quinn just could not hold in her bellyful of laughter anymore and burst out laughing in a way she hadn't in _years_. Rachel took it all in with a smile on her face. This was the beginning of a wonderful, working, friendship. Rachel could just tell that they were going to be the best of friends from this single encounter.

When Quinn finally managed to calm down she spoke up, "you definitely have paranoia problems but I sure hope you don't end up punching my nose and breaking it one day because I was out with Brittana or I stayed in the office too late and come home to find you doing something and I end up tapping your shoulder only to find your fist. That would just be horrible!" Rachel gave her a dry look in response, clearly not amused by her unflattering portrayal of her paranoia.

"Well … you might deserve it if this is how you treat my case of slight paranoia." Quinn scoffed upon hearing the word slight.

"More like an extreme case. 'Slight' my butt Rachel Berry." Quinn said with disbelief coloring her voice. "I would say it's more like a very serious case of it because you punched your own father in the eye. You might want to get that checked out by a therapist or psychologist. I happen to like the one I'm going to now and I might be able to get you an appointment with her if you want."

Quinn was joking of course but Rachel was fixated on the fact that Quinn had sought out help like she asked of her. "You … you're seeing a therapist Quinn?" Quinn looked embarrassed but she nodded in spite of it. Rachel looked so happy and sad at the same time. She was relieved that Quinn had taken her suggestion to heart and found help but she was also sad because Quinn looked embarrassed to have sought out help. "You don't have to be embarrassed Quinn. I think a good percent of people in the world these days need to see a therapist at some point in their lives because there is so much horror, chaos, strife, stress, pain, depression, and so much sorrow going on in the world right now. There is just so much going on in the world and not all of it is right and people need to have some professional help. They need an outlet that's stronger than just a support system and that would be a therapist. It's nice to talk to your friends but sometimes they don't know what to say or do to make things better even they can be there to listen. A therapist can help in that area and you need it so much more than some people who seek help as well. You've been through something traumatic and it's only right for you to help yourself by seeking the help of someone with the profession to give you the right kind of advice." Rachel always seemed to have a speech ready for every occasion no matter how sudden the topic might be.

Quinn was looking at the floor of the apartment as she let Rachel's words roll around in her head. When she looked up it was to see that Rachel was looking at her with kind, warm brown eyes.

They just looked at each other for several moments longer before Rachel turned back to the DVD rack and picked out the movie she had been eyeing earlier. "I think we should watch something funny and heartwarming so I want to watch _The Proposal_ if it is all right with you." She turned back to look at Quinn who had an expressionless face. Quinn nodded since she knew she needed the humor of that movie too. It was one of her favorite romantic comedies for sure.

"Yes, I'm fine with that movie. It's one of my favorites because of how witty it truly is." A small smile appeared on Quinn's face again and it reached her eyes, for which Rachel was glad for.

And so Rachel put the movie in and Quinn once again chose to watch Rachel's reaction since she had also watched this movie several times. She was careful in how she watched to make sure Rachel didn't notice that she wasn't watching the movie. She made sure to watch her out of the corner of her eye and to look over at her and laugh at all of the right moments so Rachel wouldn't suspect a thing. Quinn really liked being able to get to know the diva like this, so intimately, without the repercussions of blatant staring (observation).

"That was a really good movie Quinn! I'm glad we watched it." Rachel said while the last extra scenes played with the credits. Quinn just smiled her small smile in response as Rachel's eyes glanced back to the TV screen. "I … I don't think there's a romance like that in real life … I think that love is … it just doesn't exist and I will never fall in love again." Rachel said suddenly into the room.

Quinn was startled by hearing such a thing so suddenly. "Where … where did that come from?" Quinn was confused to hear such a defeated thing coming from someone as persistent and determined as Rachel. "And what do you mean by that?"

Rachel turned to look Quinn in the eyes as she spoke. "I don't think real love exists because from my experience in the romance department … people often just settle. I've never really seen two people who are truly in love. Your best friends are the closest thing I've ever seen to that and they just might be the exception to it." Rachel paused to take a deep breath before releasing it and continuing on with her thoughts. "Watching this movie … it makes me think that, that true love doesn't really exist and it's just something in movies that sell. It's just a ploy in books, movies, TV shows, and theatre. It's just make belief. It's as real as fairies, dragons, and witches and that a kiss being all it takes to save the princess. It's just … all fake and a way to make money because people _want_ to believe that it's the real deal, that it can really happen in real life." Rachel explained everything with so much sadness in her voice that Quinn knew that she was still upset over Jesse St. Garbage, as dubbed by Santana.

Quinn wanted to reassure her that it wasn't make believe … that it really could and does happen in real life but she didn't know what to say. She just knew she needed to say something. "Don't … don't give up on love just because you've been hurt by some jerk. He may have led you on but he really did care about you. I know … I know what I'm saying may be hard to hear but … he was trying to protect you in his own selfish way. He didn't want you to find out the way you did but the reason it was so hard for him to come clean was probably because he didn't want to hurt you." Quinn was looking right into Rachel's eyes with compassion. "You should let yourself get over him and let a new love in. Just don't give up on love and find someone new, someone better who loves you. Find someone who understands you and just … gets you and loves you for all of your quirks and flaws even if it takes some time to realize that they really, genuinely, care about you wholeheartedly." Rachel looked like she was on the verge of tears and when a single tear fell Quinn gently brought a hand up to wipe it away. Rachel pressed her hand into the skin of Quinn's hand, desperately in need of the contact, the comfort she presented.

"You are so wonderful Quinn." Rachel nuzzled into her warm hand and looked at her with her big brown eyes. "It's a mystery to me how someone as gorgeous and warm as you hasn't found anyone yet. I mean I've never seen you bring anyone over other than Brittany and Santana for dinner movie nights and play dates." Quinn was blushing profusely at the compliments. "Logically you probably have many admirers who haven't worked up the courage to actually talk to you yet let alone ask you out though." Quinn was glad that Rachel hadn't used the word 'guys' because that would have been presumptuous, which Rachel wasn't. "Why are you still single?" Rachel was always one to speak her mind.

"I just … I have my eye on someone but … they haven't opened their eyes yet to really _see_ me." Quinn said cryptically, leaving Rachel wondering.

Quinn may have been in denial about some things but this she wasn't. She was in denial about how strong her feelings for Rachel were but she could not deny that she really liked her, felt a strong attraction, a pull, to her. That much was obvious but she could deny until the day she died that she was falling in love. Quinn never mentioned anything about changing the sleeping arrangements because she was a masochist for one Rachel Barbra Berry.

So yes the chapter's late but at least it's a very long one! I hope it is thoroughly enjoyed!^^ Thank you for reading and please leave me some nice reviews about what you all thought about this chapter!^^

姫宮光る


	9. Wake Me Up

Chapter 9

Wake Me Up

Quinn was having a terrible nightmare again. She was fidgeting in her sleep. Quinn was normally very still when she slept other than shifting every once in a while in her sleep but tonight that was not the case. She was twitching and moving her head from side to side while her body kept jerking every few minutes in her sleep. Her dreams had been pleasant the last few weeks but tonight a nightmare plagued her.

_She'd just gotten home from her class courses at the police academy and went straight to her room. She'd noticed the car in the driveway and knew her father was home because it was his car. She tried to make sure they didn't have a confrontation by going to her room as quickly as she could. Just another hour and her mother would be home and then things wouldn't be as bad. Her mother was the much more reasonable one between the two and she often showed she cared in small ways but it wasn't enough for Quinn, not when she was suffering in silence. It wasn't enough if Quinn had to endure the abuse of a man who was a drunkard more often than not and he abused her physically and emotionally._

"_Quinn!" he had yelled from wherever he was in the house. "Come downstairs! We need to talk!" So he was most likely in the kitchen. Quinn was frightened by the sound of his voice, the tone in which he spoke to her. "Quinn! Now!" he called only a moment later, barely giving her a chance to take so much as a step before yelling again. And then he was stomping up the stairs and she ran to her door and locked it with fright. And then there was a frightening pounding on the door and from the sheer force of each blow she knew he was using his body to slam against it in an attempt to open the locked door. "Open up now! I want to talk to you about something!" He was shouting, he was yelling, he was angry sounding and he was terrifying._

_Quinn pushed her body against the door in an attempt to keep it closed so her father couldn't come in. Adrenaline was pumping through her veins as she continued to strain to keep the door from opening despite its locked state. Eventually though he slammed so hard that the door's knob came loose and Quinn fell back several steps away from the door from the impact. The door slammed open and hit the wall next to it with a loud bang echoing in the large house. The looming figure of her father with his fists clenched at his side caused a shiver to run up Quinn's spine. The angry look in his eyes caused goosebumps to crawl up Quinn's arms as fear overtook her senses easily. For a single moment they just looked into each other's eyes before his body twitched with movement causing Quinn to react to him immediately. She grabbed his wrists with her hands and tried to keep them from rising up to where they wanted to be: around her neck. Quinn was fighting a losing battle._

_Before Quinn could understand what was happening she was on the ground and there were strong, warm hands around her neck. The warmth radiating from those hands were entirely deceiving because they were doing a terrible deed. They were the hands that were supposed to comfort her and make her feel safe and secure. Those hands that she used to hold onto when she was a child were now around her neck and squeezing harshly with a firm grip that she couldn't loosen no matter how hard she struggled. Her hands were useless because she couldn't breathe. She was choking, gasping, trying to force air into her lungs with very little success. How long had it been now? A minute? Two minutes? Five? Quinn didn't know how long it had been but she was losing consciousness very quickly because there was no air in her lungs to save her from her father's strong hands. She had stopped struggling several minutes ago and now her consciousness was fading fast. Her head throbbed from the feeling of losing life saving oxygen from not only her lungs but from her brain as well. She could barely feel her heart beat thrumming quickly through her chest in a vain attempt to keep her alive._

_A loud noise could be heard echoing in the mansion of a house but Quinn merely heard a soft thump. A darkness was coming over her still, almost lifeless, body as pounding footsteps echoing in the otherwise silent air thundered up the stairs and the scene unfolded in another set of eyes. And the last thing Quinn was conscious of was the feeling of air rushing back into her body as she gasped it in greedily. And then all consciousness was lost. In her mind she was screaming, "I need help! I need somebody right now! I'm not breathing, I don't know what to do … I need help!" but she knew there would be no help, no one saving her. She knew that help was not coming and that she was surely going to die._

Rachel was shaking Quinn's shoulders gently and Quinn was twitching, fidgeting, and jerking in her sleep. There were tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes as she cried silently in her sleep. Quinn's constant tossing and turning had woken Rachel up because she slowly became aware of her pillow, Quinn's chest, moving around and around and it woke her up. At first Rachel wasn't aware of the reason for her gradual awakening but the more alert she became the more aware she became of Quinn's unsettled sleep. Quinn's head was turning from side to side, her breathing was erratic and shaky, and Quinn's upper body kept shaking with her twitching. Rachel wanted to wake her because it seemed like Quinn was having an unpleasant nightmare from the way she seemed so disturbed in her sleep.

"Quinn," Rachel whispered urgently into her ear as she continued to shake her gently in an attempt to wake her up. She started shaking her a little bit more urgently when Quinn continued to sleep in her uneasy way. Quinn was blatantly uncomfortable in her sleep and it showed in the way that she continued to shift and twist about in a fitful sleep. She started to shake Quinn's shoulder a bit more forcefully when there was a sudden loud gasp pouring forth from dry lips. "Quinn?" Rachel whispered into the still air that followed such a loud, deep gasp for air. Quinn shook her head from side to side in an almost practiced motion and her eyes were squeezed shut as tightly as possible and she had brought her hands up to her neck. It all worried Rachel greatly. "Quinn, are you all right?" Rachel asked in barely more than a hushed whisper.

Quinn appeared startled to see Rachel leaning on her side next to her. "What … when … I don't," there was no clear sentence to be seen because Quinn's thoughts were erratic and scattered from having just woken up from a nightmare. She was expecting to still be in her world of vivid horror and unspeakable pain because of her sudden jolt to awareness. She had been expecting to wake up in the ICU in a coma like she had after her night of terror and almost death. She had brought her hands up to her neck instinctively upon realizing she was awake and they were still there, checking for phantom bruises that no longer existed. Quinn was still in a frightened and fragile state of mind as it was but Rachel's presence alone soothed her to the point that her heaving, deep breaths slowed down within moments.

"Quinn, you're safe. I'm not going to hurt you." Rachel was so concerned with the Quinn she was seeing, a side she had never seen of Quinn before. She had seen Quinn trigger into a past traumatic event once and then it wasn't nearly as bad as what she was seeing before her. Rachel didn't like seeing Quinn so terrified and broken. "Come here Quinn … let me hold you?" She didn't want to scare Quinn off and back into whatever world she had been in and so she phrased it like a question. She wanted to give Quinn a choice in the matter because Quinn looked like she needed to realize where she was and that she was safe. The best way to give Quinn a feeling of security was to give her the feeling of power over what happened to her. Quinn had a wide eyed look of alarm in her beautiful golden emerald eyes, full of emotions. "Please?" Rachel tried once more with a slight pleading in her voice. Quinn's eyes darted about the dark room before landing on Rachel once again and the wild look in her eyes had calmed down to an almost peaceful look. There was an underlying fear in her eyes as she looked into Rachel's eyes with a deep and meaningful look.

"Okay," she whispered finally, her voice sounded broken in how it nearly cracked while the single, lone word left her lips. As soon as that word left her lips Rachel was holding her in warm, safe arms and laying her head against her soft chest and Quinn blushed slightly at the feeling. Quinn's heart was still beating wildly in her chest, that Rachel's presence could not cure her of however soothing her aura was for her.

They just lay in silence as Quinn's heart slowly calmed down to the beat of a regular heartbeat at rest. Quinn was careful to keep her hands on the small of Rachel's back rather than doing a stroking motion her body urged her to do. Rachel had been humming a tune that Quinn vaguely recognized into the otherwise silent air. After several more moments of just soft humming Rachel broke the silence to speak.

"I know that you have been seeing a therapist after I suggested you seek help and I'm very proud of you. I just want you to know that Quinn … and that even if you can't tell me what happened, why you've become so traumatized … I'm here and I always will be. I thank God everyday for bringing me into your life … for allowing me to come to know someone as amazing as you despite how damaged and broken you've become because of whatever terrible deed has been done to you to hurt you so much." Rachel took a deep breath before continuing in a soft whisper that left Quinn breathless for a moment. "No matter how late into the night it is or wherever I may be I will always be willing to listen to you and comfort you in whatever capacity you need me to comfort you. I'll be whatever you need me to be whether it be a friend, a colleague, a confidant, a partner, or just as me, just Rachel."

Quinn's heart melt a little further into the puddle it had slowly become since she first started noticing Rachel. When they first met Quinn's heart had been similar to a block of ice; unyielding and strong but with a few weaknesses to be found. Warmth could melt her and chisels could chip away at her and Rachel was the warmth that was slowly melting her heart of ice with every moment they spent together in this condominium alone. Quinn hadn't realized it but the things she had found annoying were just things she instinctively sought out as things she disliked for a reason to dislike this person she knew she shouldn't like.

Quinn squeezed her eyes shut for a moment to gather up her strength to keep her voice from cracking and shattering like it so desperately wished to. "Thank you … for your kindness and for being so … caring to someone like me. I'm not … I'm not the easiest person to get along with because sometimes I am mean, harsh, and downright cruel. You can ask anyone at the station and they'll tell you that I can be all of those things sometimes when I'm not being distant—"

Rachel interrupted her heatedly. "You don't know what everyone else thinks of you Quinn! Don't say things like that!" Rachel was almost annoyed by Quinn's self-deprecating ways but she had a soft spot for Quinn that she didn't understand herself. "I know that Brittany and Santana aren't the only ones who care about you and see you for who you really are! Kurt might call you a fierce bitch but you know he means that in a good way. Sam and Puck treat you as if you're they're sister! Mercedes, Mike, and Tina all think of you as a close friend! Will treats you like you're his daughter by doting on you and treating you to your favorite coffee from the Lima Bean every morning! Even Sue has a soft spot for you and she doesn't seem to like anyone all that much other than her deceased sister!" Rachel had moved so that she was supporting her weight and looking down at Quinn sometime during her passion filled speech. Rachel wasn't just speaking to say something … she was making a point to Quinn. "Why can't you see the good in you?" Rachel whispered softly in a voice that made Quinn's arms become alive with the feeling of goosebumps and alertness.

Quinn had to pause briefly to give a politically correct answer, as had been ingrained in her brain for so long. "I don't have much good qualities that I can see. I'm rather ordinary and plain so there isn't much to be proud of." What Quinn didn't realize was that this was not only going to not placate Rachel but it was just going to make her even more passionate and heated in her quest to quell Quinn's self-deprecating nature in some way. Rachel was a considerable force to be reckoned with on a daily basis but Quinn fueled the fire with more than just wood … she doused it with gasoline and alcohol as far as Rachel was concerned.

"There are absolutely many things for you to take pride in and see the good of in you Quinn!" This was the closest the two had ever gotten to in terms of an argument in the last month Rachel had been living with Quinn. Things were heating and escalating quite quickly between them. "Don't you understand what you mean to me? To everyone at the station?" Quinn's eyes were squeezed shut tight as she lay on the bed, hearing every word Rachel was saying. "You have nothing … to be scared of. You're a very pretty girl Quinn … you're the prettiest girl I've ever met but … you're a lot more than that." Rachel was pleading for Quinn to listen to her, to really hear her out and take her words at face value. Quinn didn't understand why it was that Rachel was, and had been, so kind to her ever since they first met. She had known many of the people at the station since she herself was in kindergarten. Rachel however was kinder to her than any of her last 24 partners in the last 6 years she had been working. Rachel was number 25 in the string of partners because for the most part her partners transferred within the first three months of working with her if they lasted that long. There had been a few who stuck around for a little past the three month mark and some who had lasted much less time than that.

Quinn didn't understand kindness in the form of someone who was practically a stranger to her in terms of how long she had been working with her and had known her overall. Santana was wary of Rachel and all of the power she held over Quinn. Quinn knew that she took things too personally every time a partner transferred and it plagued her with tension and high levels of stress just thinking about it. Quinn had been taught by her family not to trust anyone and their intentions because no one in the world did anything just because they were inherently good. She had been taught from a young age that the only people who would ever look out for her and do anything good just to be nice were family. And that even that seemed like a lie after everything her 'family' had done to her in her life. They lied, they cursed, they drank passed numbness, they fought, they abused, they screamed … they did everything wrong to each other. The only one who had ever shown her any mercy had been her older sister when she had helped Quinn hide when she was younger. Quinn's sister, Francine, had been the golden child … the one who did no wrong and so she was able to protect Quinn and shield her from some of the pain that would have otherwise been inflicted upon her. Francine knew she was the favorite because she listened while Quinn would rebel and she would pay the price for it. As soon as her older sister saved up enough money she moved out with her boyfriend into an apartment away from the stifling Fabray household. Quinn didn't have the luxury of her sister saving her anymore by the time she turned twelve and she experienced a hell worse than she could have ever imagined.

Quinn experienced so much pain and torment in the next six years without her older sister being around to protect her. Francine couldn't take being in the stifling house anymore and so she left as soon as an opportunity presented itself to her. Quinn felt abandonment issues from knowing that her sister had escaped whereas she could not for another six years. The next six years of her life nearly cost her, her life and she was never the same again after something as detestable and horrid occurred to her, happened to her, because of her father's hatred. The daughter who could no wrong did the one thing that was wrong to her father and she was not allowed in the house again without him being present in the house itself once she left. She left with what their father considered 'good for nothing trash.' He had said many times how she went out of the house found trash and brought it back home in the form of her boyfriend Julian T Ungerman. Quinn didn't have someone to help her out of her parents' house like her sister did and by the time she was finally able to leave she had become someone she didn't even recognize. She had become someone so cold, distant, and aloof and so very broken hidden behind her cold façade.

When Santana had first seen her again after not seeing her for two years, between the ages of twelve and fourteen, Quinn had undergone a radical transformation. Santana didn't recognize her at first not just because Quinn was older than she had remembered but she was also so different from who she remembered. Quinn's face had changed and matured in the two years but most of all her aura and presence had become so unlike whom she had seen two years before. At first Santana had thought she had gone to the wrong house to visit Quinn only to hear her name from the stoic blonde. There was an underlying brokenness that Santana couldn't even see until much later on. Brittany was very intuitive when it came to the emotions others were feeling and how they were on an emotional plane and it was sometimes psychic how she could see things others missed. It was as if Brittany had a sense that came with being unable to articulate things in a way for most other people to understand her and she made up for it entirely with her uncanny intuitiveness.

Quinn was so lost in her world that she was startled when she felt the softest lips pressing against her cheeks in a soft, reassuring kiss that left her breathless. All of the air escaped Quinn in a rush and all she could feel was the warmth that spread throughout her body, encasing it in a warm flame. It was a feeling she had not ever felt for anyone she had ever dated, though those numbers were very low to begin with, and it left her feeling a rush in her body. Quinn was left speechless from all of the feelings that rushed throughout her body swiftly as a result from that simple, single touch. It ignited a fire that had been a mere candle flame and it became a roaring fire.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked hesitantly, full of reservation and nervousness. She had no idea where the reassuring soft press of her lips against her now too warm cheek came from but a flicker of hope flashed in her eyes and in her heart.

Rachel was looking into her eyes and there was so much emotion in the warm brown eyes that she was slowly falling for. There was so much to see that she felt herself drowning in the eyes of the person she found herself falling for little by little with each day they spent together.

Quinn wanted to be brave, wanted to lean those scant few inches forward to connect their lips, but a part of her knew that now wasn't the time to do something like that. She didn't know what Rachel's feelings were and just the week before, when they had been watching movies on Saturday, Rachel stated that she didn't believe in love. Rachel had outright told Quinn that she didn't think true love existed in real life and that it was just something that the media made up to profit. It was something that Quinn had felt more than a little disappointed by and it made Quinn think that any possibility of a relationship happening between them didn't exist. It was something that Quinn could tell would be a deciding factor in whether or not Rachel would date anyone ever again … let alone give her a chance at finding happiness with the petite powerhouse diva.

"Yes Quinn?" Rachel's breath hitched at seeing all of the emotions swarming in the beautiful hazel eyes that seemed to be an intense jade green in the stark darkness in the room with the sparse moonlight reflecting in them. Rachel had never seen more beautiful eyes in her life and she felt mesmerized by their incredible and majestic beauty. There was something in those eyes that made her fee breathless and her heart race under the intense feelings that shone through them. "What is it?" Rachel asked almost breathlessly.

Quinn's eyes darted over to her right to look at the clock located on the nightstand next to her bed briefly before looking back at Rachel. "I … well it's 5:42 right now and … well since we need to be in the station by 8:00 I thought I would take a shower now and then … I wanted … well there was … is something I wanted to talk to you about. I want … I want to tell you something very important … that is if … you know … erm," Quinn took a deep breath and let it out slowly to calm her nerves down. Rachel was surprised to find that Quinn didn't have morning breath when her cool, minty breath reached her face. She would have to ask how Quinn managed such a thing later because Rachel felt self-conscious about her own breath at the moment, knowing without a doubt that it smelled of morning breath. "It's … quite personal but … if you don't mind listening … I would like to tell you about what happened to me … what caused me to become … how I am now."

Rachel gasped upon hearing Quinn's request. Rachel was blown away by the trust that Quinn seemed to have for her because she knew that Quinn didn't entirely trust anyone in her life and the most trust she had for anyone one person was for Brittany and Santana. She wasn't sure why Quinn seemed to trust her so much when they had only known each other for little more than a month at this point but she was entirely flattered. Rachel nodded her head before giving a verbal response. "Of course I would be willing to listen to whatever you have to say to me Quinn. I am more than willing to listen … to hear what you have to say to me. Always, Quinn." Quinn smiled warmly at Rachel for her kindness.

They just looked at each other for another few moments before Quinn interrupted their staring with a cleared throat and a sheepish look on her face. "Um … I would like to shower now …" Quinn said awkwardly. Rachel blushed slightly in response.

"Oh of course! Go ahead Quinn!" But Rachel failed to realize that she was blocking Quinn's exit by nearly lying on top of her form as she was currently.

Quinn's pink cheeks continued to increase in blush until it was a full blown red color on her warm cheeks. "I … sort of need you to move … so I can … um … get up Rachel." Quinn squeaked at the end with her extreme embarrassment and her realization that Rachel was so close to her, so close that just a few inches more and she would be kissing her soft, moist lips.

Rachel's cheeks flamed at the sudden realization and she moved back abruptly upon the realization truly setting. "Oh! I'm so terribly sorry Quinn." Rachel quickly pushed her body to the side and Quinn immediately missed the warmth and the pleasant pressure that had been Rachel's body on top of her own, pressing deliciously together.

Quinn got up slowly while she thought. One of Quinn's ways of releasing stress from her sometimes overwhelmingly stressful life was singing a song that matched her feelings while she was in the shower. Right now, though she was hesitant to do it with Rachel being in the room adjacent to the shower as it was. Quinn grabbed a change of clothes and a towel from her dresser drawers and made her way over to her bathroom without another word.

She was standing outside of her shower, waiting for the water to warm before she stepped in. She made her decision as she stood under the gentle spray of warm water. She needed to sing now more than ever after what had happened, after the nightmare she had seen occurred once again. The nightmare that was the day that wouldn't stop haunting her, wouldn't leave her be no matter how many years had passed.

Skies are crying

I am watching

Catching teardrops in my hands

Only silence as it's ending

Like we never had a chance

Do you have to make me feel like,

There's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have

You can break everything I am

Like I'm made of glass

Like I'm made of paper

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper

As the smoke clears

I awaken and untangle you from me

Would it make you feel better,

To watch me while I bleed?

All my windows still are broken

But I'm standing on my feet

You can take everything I have

You can break everything I am

Like I'm made of glass

Like I'm made of paper

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper

Go run, run, run

I'm gonna stay right here

Watch you disappear, yeah

Go run, run, run

Yeah it's a long way down

But I am closer to the clouds up here

You can take everything I have

You can break everything I am

Like I'm made of glass

Like I'm made of paper oh whoa~

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper~

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper

And by the end of it the liquid running down her cheeks wasn't purely water anymore. Quinn sighed as she washed her hair out and closed her eyes tightly and tried to regain control of her flowing tears and rein in her emotions.

Once her hair was clear of all of the shampoo suds and her body was somewhat relaxed from the feeling of the warm water gently beating down over her tense body. Quinn reached over to the brush on one of the grooves on the side of the shower made for placing shampoo bottles and other various shower things. She brushed her hair out while the water ran over it. It was something Quinn started doing when she was younger because she found that it made it easier to brush her hair while water helped in getting the tangles out more easily. Brittany and Santana were the only ones who knew about this habit of Quinn's and at first Santana, when she initially found out, had made fun of Quinn for it. It wasn't in a mean way but she had thought it to be something rather strange in a funny way. Brittany just thought it was a good way to keep her hairbrush clean and that it was smart of Quinn to do so. Quinn herself just thought nothing of it and told Santana that it wasn't a big deal and that she was sure other people did it too.

Quinn dried herself off with the towel slowly as she thought about what it meant to live with these nightmares. "Wake me up before the dream ends … wake me up before it becomes a nightmare. Please … just wake me up before I die again." Quinn spoke so softly she could barely hear her own voice. Quinn didn't want anyone to hear her silent and soft pleading … she wondered if her Lord and Savior could hear her prayer. He never answered in all of the years she prayed for something, anything, to change … for someone to save her. Each year her faith became shakier and shakier until she didn't know who she was even praying to anymore. She was sure that if there was a God then he surely would have done something to save her. She had never prayed for a miracle before … only for someone to be sent to save her from the nightmares of going insane from all of the pain. "I'll forget you, I'll get over you, just you wait because I'll show you … I'm gonna be better even without you in my life. You make me go insane, you give me so much pain, and I won't be back again." Quinn was singing softly when she heard the distinctive sound of Rachel's nightly routine. Quinn could only smile to herself as she heard Rachel's vocal exercises.

Quinn was glad that there was a chance that Rachel hadn't heard her singing but then she realized that there were vents in both of the bathrooms and the bathrooms were built next to each other. There was a very high chance that Rachel had indeed heard Quinn singing if she was in the bathroom when Quinn was showering. That left Quinn feeling unsettled and nervous that she had, possibly, shown her vulnerable side to Rachel yet again. Quinn often found herself uncomfortable with how much she revealed about herself when it came to Rachel because of how introverted she was. She had taken much more time to even reveal half of the shit her father had done to her to Santana and that wasn't in vivid details even then. She didn't think Santana would take it well, as most anyone wouldn't, and she feared that Santana would take drastic measures to ensure her father pain double what she experienced. That would have just caused Santana problems in the future and she would never have been able to become a detective if that had happened let alone a police officer on the force. Quinn didn't want any of those things for Santana and so she held back the majority of the gruesome details from one of her best friends.

Here and now though, Quinn found that she was willing to divulge such secrets, such terrible things, to someone who was practically a stranger compared to her best friends. She'd only known Rachel for barely more than a month, just six weeks, and she was already ready to spill the deepest darkest secrets in her closet. She didn't know what was more frightening: the thought of how much she was coming to like and trust Rachel, or the fact that she was entrusting the ultimate secret to her while barely knowing her. On the one hand she could pass the thoughts off as wistful thinking and the secret revealing as just something that Rachel made her feel. Rachel was very easy to talk to and she was a very good listener and she gave great advice. She really was very much what Quinn had imagined her other half to be without even realizing it, without trying to be _it_ for her. Quinn couldn't decide if she liked this development or not.

Before Quinn was completely prepared for the talk she was about to have with Rachel the door opened and revealed a freshly washed up Rachel and Quinn's tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth and her lips were dry. Rachel was wearing a tank top that barely covered her assets and shorts that were criminally short. Quinn knew that if they were still in high school that those shorts would have definitely not been school appropriate. Quinn's lips, tongue, and throat were all oh so very dry at the sight of the tan brunette. She was quite a vision to behold on a daily basis as it was but now … with her so vulnerable and carefree about what she was wearing … it was driving Quinn crazy with desire. Desire was something Quinn had never really experienced before in her life. She had only ever had two very serious relationships and even then she had been younger than all of the people she had dated and so they all held her back at arm's length. Her most serious relationships had only lasted little more than half a year each and even then she had never known true desire. This was something she had never known existed … this feeling of absolute need and desire. Quinn let out a pained grunt after having run into something.

Rachel immediately went into action having heard such a noise come from her. Quinn looked down to see that she had run into the corner of her desk and tentatively touched her thigh. She hissed upon realizing that there was most definitely an open wound on her thigh. She saw the light sheen of red coating her fingers and looked away quickly. She didn't like the sight of fresh blood and this time was no exception. Quinn was more than a little uncomfortable at the moment and she was on the verge of passing out when she felt an arm wrap around her waist to help support her. They both walked over to the bed quietly as Quinn tried to keep her mind off of the blood that was running down her leg slowly now. Rachel set her down on the bed gently and quietly asked where she kept her band-aids and went to retrieve them upon hearing the blonde's answer. It should have been a quick and painless affair but it seemed like more than several minutes passed as Rachel wiped the blood off and cleaned the wound with sanitizing wipes. Quinn, though quite a bit pained, held back any whimpers or cries that wanted to weasel out of her throat by squeezing her eyes shut and holding her breath.

Before more than two minutes could pass by Rachel was done and putting away the little band-aid kit and sanitizing wipes. Quinn took the time it would take for Rachel to put it back to take a few calming breaths and decide how much she wanted to tell Rachel and how detailed it would be. She was just going to wing it and see how that went. This was her story and she would tell it however she wanted to and if that meant telling in gruesome, vivid details then that was what she was going to do.

"Rachel," Quinn started hesitantly. She licked her dry lips and took a deep breath to compose herself. "What I … well I … the thing is … I wanted to tell you something very serious because … for reasons I can't explain … I trust you implicitly. There is just … something about you that I … that just, somehow, makes me _feel_ trust for you even though I've never felt it with anyone else in my life." Quinn looked into Rachel's eyes with unspoken trust and there was something dynamic, magnetic, and gravitational about the look Quinn was giving Rachel. It pulled Rachel in deeply with something akin to the gravitational force of the sun, keeping the entire universe aligned as it did.

"Okay." That single word was heartfelt and reassuring and it gave Quinn the strength she needed to tell Rachel everything about her home life. It gave her the strength to reveal just how abusive the environment she grew up in was from the way her father gave her very violent beatings to the way he called her nasty names no child should ever have to endure. The moment of truth was the life changing event that occurred when she was nearly killed almost seven years ago.

"I … I've only ever told two people about this my entire life. I think … well I'm sure you know who those two are without me having to say anything."

Rachel nodded and whispered, "Brittany and Santana," to which Quinn also, subsequently, nodded in answer to as well. Rachel had been quiet and attentive throughout Quinn's tale of horror. Rachel looked extremely pained and sympathetic toward her but otherwise said nothing to interrupt Quinn's terrible home life.

"There was … a day … that," Quinn paused and tried to regain the strength and confidence that she had started with. Rachel's hand immediately came out and held onto Quinn's other hand and squeezed both hands gently and encouragingly. Quinn closed her eyes and drew strength from that gesture alone to try and continue on with her story. "I … had just gotten home from my classes at the police academy and my father … the moment I came home I knew he was in a foul mood. I knew, without a doubt in my mind, that he was angry, that there was something in his entire demeanor that felt livid with fury. He was tense and I could feel it the moment I came home. I didn't have to see him to feel it. I ran to my room immediately and before even a moment could pass … he was yelling for me and it was only another moment before he was coming up after me. And then … I locked the door because I could hear … I could _feel_ his footsteps thundering up the stairs to my room. Before I could even step back from the door there he was … pounding on the door to try and open it to get to me." Quinn was visibly shaking and there was redness to her eyes though no tears fell from the beautiful hazel that shone with pain and fear. There were so many vulnerabilities for Rachel to see that it almost shocked her to see all of the emotions showing through someone normally so stoic and unflinching like her.

Rachel pulled Quinn into a warm hug that left her feeling so much comfort in all of the sorrow and pain she was feeling from recalling such a horrid event. Quinn definitely needed the comfort and Rachel could fee her need and fulfilled it in the only way she knew how: by giving her the warmth of closeness and kindness. Quinn felt herself calm just enough for her tears not to fall down slightly red cheeks.

"I know … whatever it is you must say … I know that it is difficult to say. Know this Quinn: I will listen to whatever you have to say but if you can't tell me, if you don't want to, then I understand completely and I will still be here regardless of what you have to say next. You don't owe me any explanation and whatever it is you need to tell me you can say without worry that I will judge you for it. I will be whatever you need me to be." Quinn knew that Rachel didn't understand what it was she was offering to her by saying that and it made Quinn's heart ache in a different way. She took the pain and turned it into strength.

"He tried to kill me." Those five words left her dry mouth with the weight of a boulder crashing through a forest and creating havoc in its wake. Rachel let out a gasp as Quinn continued, "he tried … to choke me and … I … I-I lost consciousness and I woke up in a hospital." Whatever Quinn was about to say next Rachel never expected to hear let alone imagine it could happen in real life. "After ten days of being in the hospital I found $100,000 in my savings account." From Rachel understood of that statement her father had basically bought her off so she wouldn't call the police. He bought her silence. "I didn't want the money but I couldn't tell him to take it back and I still, to this day, don't know why he gave it to me. He had never given me money before other than for birthdays, holiday celebrations, and as a college fund only because my mother always told him to do so."

Quinn looked as lost as she felt and Rachel could see it clearly. She didn't know what to say to make it better but she knew she could say one thought that struck her mind as a possibility.

"Maybe … some part of him felt guilty for what he had done to you and he was trying to make up for it by giving you something you would need." Rachel said softly with only slight hesitation in her words.

Quinn didn't know what to believe but she certainly couldn't rule out the possibility that Rachel was right. She wasn't a psych major whereas Rachel had begun college as one. There was one thing Quinn knew for certain though: she was never going to ask her father to find out what his reasons were.

My sincerest apologies for this taking so long but I've been so busy working that I just couldn't find the time to write this! I actually would have finished writing this last week but my six days off turned into four days because I had to take someone's shifts because they called off of work! Well it's out now and it's a little bit longer to make up for how long it took. Again sorry and please review, pretty, pretty please?

姫宮光る


	10. Struck

Chapter 10

Struck

Rachel and Quinn were heading off to lunch when word of a bank robbery in progress came on through their car's walkie-talkie unit. Quinn was driving and at a red light when it came to life calling all available units and so Rachel answered it.

"This is unit one eight responding to the call with Head Detective Fabray and Detective Berry here. What is the situation?" There was static as another voice came on.

"This is unit three five calling from the location of First Niagara Bank on West Point Road, building address 432, West Point, Lima. How far away are you unit one eight?" The voice spoke through the static of the speakers.

Rachel quickly checked the surroundings before responding to the question. "We're about a mile and a half away from the bank. We can be there in five minutes." Rachel paused for just a second before she asked a question, "Do we have a hostage situation?" There was tension in the car as the static came over again and the other officer spoke up on the walkie-talkie unit.

"Yes … we have about twenty hostages in the bank because it is afternoon. We are waiting for someone to come to start negotiations with the masked and armed robber, who we have yet to identify. We are watching the situation closely and we currently have five troops here and the S.W.A.T team is on the way right now. You will be the sixth troop. We're all already suited up and ready to go. Is your partner able to run the negotiations until the S.W.A.T team arrives?"

"Quinn?" Rachel asked softly into the air. Quinn nodded tersely in response. "Okay. We're here." And with that they quickly left the car and went to one of the vans on the scene with all of the equipment necessary for an emergency situation. They put on protective vests, tactical boots, tactical gloves, and a protective helm. Quinn went to one of the officers standing by to ask him about what the situation was now. After conversing for a single moment, Quinn immediately went to another officer with a disposable cell phone to call into the building to start the negotiation process with the robbers to stall for time. Rachel looked around to see that there were people lined up around the police tape, looking into the scene of danger right in front of their eyes.

Rachel felt a feeling of dread come over as she moved so that she was the closest person to Quinn but still far away enough so that she wouldn't be a distraction to Quinn's negotiation process. She could hear Quinn's voice, cold and unyielding and yet somehow still soft, as she spoke to one of the robbers. It was only a few moments after Quinn had started negotiating with them that the S.W.A.T team pulled up onto the scene. It was then that Rachel heard something change in Quinn's voice. She looked over to see that Quinn's entire body language showed tenseness and stiff anxiety. Rachel looked over to where all of the S.W.A.T team members all got into position to shoot if any shot was available. They were positioned in various places with views of the glass windows and doors taking aim with their guns. The robber who seemed to be in charge of the group immediately grabbed an available hostage to shield himself with and hung up the phone, "negotiations are over Head Detective Fabray," and without warning shot at the closest person to the building.

The feeling of dread Rachel felt intensified in that moment. Her uneasiness was her sixth sense and she just knew, in that moment, that something terrible was about to happen and she was not wrong because only moments later something did happen.

Quinn felt a sharp, searing pain in her lower abdomen and upper arm before she was on her knees. Just at the moment the hostage, Blaine Anderson, elbowed the masked robber sharply and efficiently in the stomach taking all of the breath out of him, and ducked somewhere. At that exact moment a S.W.A.T team member shot the presumed leader and another one threw tear gas into the building where the glass had broken and completely shattered off after Quinn was shot. Quinn was falling forward when Rachel surged forward passed the few feet separating them and gently grabbed her uninjured arm, preventing her from falling to the ground.

Blood was gushing out of her wounds and some blood was seeping out of her mouth as well. Rachel knew that meant that Quinn had internal bleeding somewhere. Quinn had been shot under the vests reach from what Rachel could see and her heart was hammering in her chest seeing her partner so injured. Rachel was in a panic. "Somebody, get help! I need a medic over here! Now!" Rachel was frightened to see all of the blood loss accumulating on the ground and in her hands. A few officers broke into action after seeing the Head Detective fall to her knees.

"Officer down, officer down! We need a medic over here _now_! Hurry!" Someone shouted into the walkie-talkie. There was an ambulance with medics at the ready not far from where the chaotic scene was unfolding. They had arrived on the scene sometime before the negotiation turned sour and shots were fired.

Everything was happening in a blur around Quinn. One moment she was in severe pain and in the next moment she found herself in Rachel's arms as she screamed something over her shoulder. It seemed like everything was happening slowly and the words and sounds all jumbled together to form an incoherent mess. Quinn couldn't understand any of the words being spoken or what was happening around her and before she knew it she was being driven somewhere. Quinn was strapped into a stretcher and there were various machines hooked up to her. She heard a loud beeping noise and could feel her heart thudding in her chest painfully as she was being driven somewhere. The one thing that gave her relief throughout all of the chaos was the feeling of someone's warm hand holding her own and the softly whispered words of reassurance. Quinn couldn't remember anything after that and she was sure that it must have been because she lost all consciousness. The warm feeling of someone holding her hand stayed with her though even through her unconsciousness.

Throughout all of the havoc that followed the sound of bullets coming out of their shells and screaming hostages Rachel felt herself lose her professionalism. She ran straight for Quinn and stayed with her even as she was being carried to the ambulance on standby and at the ready and as she was being driven to the nearest hospital. She didn't see the S.W.A.T team, geared up with masks, entering the fray where the tear gas had been let loose to subdue the robbers. Rachel didn't see the S.W.A.T team coming out of the smoky bank with three men cuffed and other hostages being helped out of the building. All Rachel saw was Quinn and how frail, pale, and so weak she looked.

It was a sickening sight, all of the blood still gushing out of her. The medic team was working hard to stem the flow of blood still flowing out of her fresh wounds. Quinn's eyes were barely open and she looked so broken and small on the stretcher. Quinn was paler than Rachel had ever seen her before and it was frightening to see her in such a fragile state. Rachel was asked several questions about Quinn and she answered as many as she could while forcing herself to remain as calm as possible.

Rachel kept hearing phrases like "she's losing too much blood," and, "try to bring her blood pressure down," and, "we need to give her something to calm down her heart rate before she dies!" And the more she heard the more worried she became for Quinn because Quinn had been so kind to her already. Quinn had gone through so much in her life and done so much to help others. She didn't deserve to have it all end here and now, not when she still had so much more life to live. Everything she heard was making her worry and her anxiety spiked even further when she had to let go of the hand she hadn't even realized she had been holding onto so tightly.

It was just out of nowhere that this bullet came and struck Quinn and Rachel felt like she should have known to do something. She understood that there was no way of her knowing that something terrible was going to happen to Quinn but she still felt like she had been powerless to stop something from happening to her. Quinn was her partner so she should have done something more for her. Quinn wasn't just her partner … Quinn was her friend too and she was becoming the best friend she had been missing in Jesse. Quinn was an even better friend than Jesse was to her sometimes even though she had known Jesse longer. Quinn had many similar interests in music, movies, TV Shows, and she even enjoyed Broadway! How many other people in this city could she actually find that enjoyed Broadway? She knew that Kurt was a fan of Broadway and Quinn was just a casual fan of Broadway but it still made Rachel ridiculously happy to know that Quinn enjoyed some Broadway too. She could gush to Kurt about all things Broadway musicals and talk to Quinn about other things. That was how it went the last few weeks since she had gotten to know everyone at the station better little by little.

The one thing that Rachel still could not do somehow was avoid Santana's dislike for her. Sure she was civil most of the time but she still had her cutting remarks, as witty and sometimes amusing as they were they were still insults. Rachel could go without that, without the insults. And on occasion Santana looked like she was just a few seconds away from bolting after Rachel when she was being particularly OCD, perfectionist, or too much of a diva for her taste. Overall though, they were okay around each other and they usually weren't on the verge of fighting to the death. Rachel knew that a large part of that was thanks to Quinn and her fondness of her. She was grateful for Quinn's presence in her life because she was always defending her and protecting her from other people who weren't kind to her for one reason or another. The most trouble Rachel usually encountered was on Friday nights when their group of friends from the station all went to the karaoke bar where many of the patrons who were female would boo her while she was onstage and then, sometimes, further antagonize her after she stepped off. Quinn always made sure that she was near the stage after the first few incidents happened and make sure they didn't get to say very much to her. If she saw the ones who usually bothered Rachel approach she would glare and if that didn't work she would then state that she was very much capable of filing harassment charges against them. They would usually back off after that but it was the same routine every week because those women were always drunk when they went after Rachel.

Many thoughts kept running through Rachel's mind about all of the things Quinn had done for her ever since she met her. All this time she had been taking Quinn for granted and just enjoying the time they had together instead of showing her appreciation for Quinn and everything she did for her. Quinn had started learning how to cook vegan food the first week Rachel moved in. She even took the time to research vegan friendly restaurants for her after she first found out about Rachel being vegan. She had been surprised because she had never met a person who was vegan before and so it began with just looking through a phonebook to buying a recipe book. Rachel had never been so touched by another person's kindness before because no one had ever done something like that for her in her life. One of her own fathers was vegan and so it wasn't much of a sacrifice for him to cook for her and for her to eat homemade vegan food. Quinn though … Quinn was an average person who was part of the Christian faith and so … she was the opposite of vegan in every way … and despite that she still attempted to learn. Quinn was trying so hard to help Rachel feel like a guest in her home and she was doing everything she could to make sure that Rachel felt like she was home in that condominium and not … a stranger encroaching on her privacy. Quinn was making every effort she could to ensure that Rachel felt like a welcome person and not an unwanted guest.

Rachel continued to pace in the room they had placed her in after Quinn had gone into surgery because it had been established that there was no exit wound and the bullets would have to be removed from her body. Rachel shuddered at the thought that there was need of such a thing because Quinn had been losing so much blood as it was and now they would have to remove bullets from her body. Time was moving by so slowly, oh so very slowly, and Rachel's anxiety and worry was mounting to a ridiculous high when someone finally came from surgery to tell her about Quinn's condition was and Rachel stopped pacing long enough to hear what they had to say.

"Detective Berry?" Someone covered in blood asked and Rachel blanched at the amount of blood smearing the doctor's operation garb. Rachel nodded her head and moved as close as she dared. "We managed to remove the bullets successfully from her body and though she had some internal bleeding we believe she will be okay because we gave her a blood transfusion. Her condition is stable now but she will have to sleep here overnight and stay here for a while because we would like to keep an eye on her. With blood transfusions there are some cases of the recipient actually rejecting the blood transferred during the process and so we will have to keep an eye on that. If the blood transfusion is unsuccessful and she starts to reject the blood we will know within six to twelve hours after the transfusion has occurred." Rachel was following along as best as she could and trying to keep herself calm enough so that she didn't just started running passed the doctor in search of Quinn's room. The doctor seemed to anticipate this and told her directly about visiting. "You can visit her for a few minutes now because she is awake but she should rest as soon as possible and we do have her on some very strong pain medications. We'll have to see how long she will be here before she's moving again because we don't want her to tear up the stitching on her stomach and have to stitch it again." There was a pause before Rachel just nodded her head in acceptance and she thanked the doctor for saving her partner, for saving Quinn.

Rachel then rushed to the room number he had yelled out to her as she jogged passed several rooms before reaching her destination. Rachel just stood at the door, anticipation and anxiety coursing through her body in waves, before she finally felt herself gather enough courage to knock on the door softly. A soft voice beckoned her forth and she found herself standing next to a bed with a very weak and pale Quinn looking up at her with dazed eyes. "Does it hurt a lot?" Rachel asked in a gentle whisper, voice barely audible over the sound of beeping machines. Quinn was silent and she just shook her head very slightly before looking up at Rachel again. Quinn's hand, which had a pulse reader clamped to it, moved from the bed until she was holding Rachel's hand in her own causing the tears that had been welling in her eyes to fall before she could blink her eyes. She bent down to Quinn so that she was holding her as best she could while Quinn was lying in this stark white bed.

After a few moments Rachel pulled back and tried to keep herself from crying any further, taking a few deep breaths to calm down. "Don't cry Rachel … I'm, I'm okay. Really I am. Don't worry about me. Everything's okay now because they … they were able to remove the bullets and … and give me more blood to make for the fact that I lost so much. I'll … I'll be okay Rach, so don't worry about me too much. I'll be home before you know it and I'll be as good as new and it will … it will be as if this day never happened." When Rachel didn't look reassured by anything Quinn said Quinn tried a different tactic. "This isn't the first time I've been injured on the job and it won't be the last either. This is all a part of what being in the police force is and I know that you're new to it so … you're just in shock over it right now but … it will be okay. I will be okay and I promise you that." Rachel nodded her head in acceptance of what Quinn was saying but she was still worried nonetheless.

"You promise … you promise that you'll be okay?" Rachel had never had to deal with someone getting seriously injured like this before and so it frightened her greatly to see Quinn looking so pale and weak in a hospital bed amongst stark whiteness. Sure, Sam had gotten injured once early on but a broken nose couldn't compare to the seriousness of being shot multiple times. "You're promising me that … you'll … you'll be moving around again a-and that … that you'll … soon you'll be back on your feet and at 100% okay?"

Quinn looked up and saw all of the vulnerability in Rachel did the only thing she could to reassure Rachel: she was honest. "I … well right now I don't really feel too much pain because I've been numbed by the pain medication but … honestly I … I will be okay. I know I will be after a few weeks of bed rest. I'll be good as new and we can go back to working and hanging out in our free time. We'll be singing on karaoke nights every Friday like we used to and we'll sit around and talk or watch movies or … or just do whatever! This is just temporary because before you know it … I'll be walking around and sleeping in my own bed before you know it." Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand, the hand she hadn't let go of yet and was unwilling to part with, "this I promise you Rachel Barbra Berry." And that had Rachel crying again. Rachel was an emotional being and seeing someone she cared about so much in this state had her severely sensitive.

Rachel nodded her head in acceptance and squeezed Quinn's warm hand back. She was glad to know that Quinn's hand was warm because warmth meant life. "Okay … thank you Quinn … I'm so sorry that this happened to you." Quinn attempted to move herself so that she was upright but before she could do that Rachel's free hand was on her shoulder, preventing her from moving any further. "Quinn you can't possibly move right at this moment because you'll tear the stitches on your stomach open if you attempt to sit up and I would rather not have you do that. You are already injured enough as it is, there is no need to do further damage to yourself by moving too soon."

A nurse came into the room and broke the trance they were both in from looking into each other's eyes so deeply. "Detective Berry? I'm sorry but I must ask you to leave now because we need to let Head Detective Fabray rest now and monitor how well she is taking the blood transfusion." Rachel nodded over to the tall blonde nurse and looked back at Quinn one last time, squeezing the hand that neither had been able to let go of.

"I'll visit you every day … every day until I can take you home and … and when you come home _I_ will take care of you for a change." Rachel looked down at Quinn meaningfully, causing Quinn to chuckle and then gasp from slight pain in her abdomen. "Okay, no laughing Quinn … that's an order from me!" Rachel said sternly causing Quinn to smile that little, small smile of hers that was always a little mysterious.

"Okay … whatever you say … _momma_ Berry." Rachel rolled her eyes at Quinn's antics but was glad for the fact that Quinn seemed okay and her calm behavior helped ease Rachel's worries more than anything else did. "I better see you and the others tomorrow because if I don't … I'll … I'll … I'll think of something witty when I'm not so drugged up! That's what I'll do!" And that had Rachel giggling.

"I'm sure … I'll tell the others your exact words for sure Miss oh so very threatening and scary." Rachel looked at Quinn fondly once more before she bent down and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. "You know … there's this saying that my parents always told me … and that is that all kisses have different meanings … and the one I just gave you, on your forehead, means friendship."

Quinn's eyes widened in surprise and only a moment later the tiniest bit of sorrow crept into her expression before it was quickly masked. "Thank you Rachel." Rachel was sure she had imagined that trace of sorrow and so she shrugged it off and smiled and waved as she left.

Over the next week Brittany, Santana, and Rachel all visited Quinn daily to see how she was doing. Finn visited one the entire week, the day after the incident, while Sam and Puck visited every other day. Sue and Will made an effort to visit her when they could and when they couldn't visit they would send things in with people they knew were visiting, things like food, flowers, cards, and plush toys. The gossip whores, Kurt and Mercedes, often came in with the Asian lovebirds in tow.

Kurt had squealed over the fact that he had spoken to a witness at the bank who was a real "hottie" as he put it. Kurt had gone on about how there was no way this hunk was _not_ gay and that he would give anything to do sinful things to him if he couldn't date him at the very least. He had mentioned that he was in the music industry and was only back in Lima to visit his family. Kurt was crushing on this guy big time and he wasn't afraid to show it. He kept going on about some guy named Blaine Anderson and he was showing no sign of letting up. Mercedes was very supportive for the first few days of Kurt's constant simpering but eventually it got to the point that she lost interest because Kurt wouldn't ask him out directly. Mercedes had her eyes on a guy anyways and she was focusing on getting him to notice her now more than listening to Kurt's rambling. The guy she liked was … Sam Evans, partner of Puck and suspected gay man. She kept saying that if he was suspected to be gay there was no guarantee that he was at all. She'd been trying to give him some subtle hints for a little while now but Sam was one of the densest guys in the group of friends … only third after Finn and Brittany.

Mike and Tina would just roll their eyes at Kurt and Mercedes' antics but Quinn understood that it was all just to cheer her up. They were the kind of friends who would act like nothing was wrong so she didn't have to feel sad about what was going on with her. Their gossiping was a form of medicine in and of itself because it made even her cold façade melt a little and she would just smile and shake her head in amusement at the pair being silly. Mike and Tina would talk about their day and how much everyone at the station missed her and wished her well.

"Rachel has looked pretty miserable working with her temporary partner. The person filling in for you is … well, as Rachel put it when she complains, 'incompetent and absolutely nothing like Detective Fabray!' She has been rather … well … more forceful than usual and it's a shock that Santana has yet to throttle Rachel. She keeps shooting looks her way and muttering under her breath and we can all imagine what it is Santana is muttering under her breath. Brittany is always saying something to her while looking at her disapprovingly." Tina said animatedly. "Rachel has been really, really anal and controlling and well … very demanding … just a big diva since you've been cooped up in here. Just the other day Santana had a screaming match with her about her being incessantly annoying and Brittany and Sam had to hold her back from hurting Rachel. Rachel actually screamed, but I'm still not quite sure if she was screaming because she was scared or frustrated. Either way it got pretty heated around there."

Mike nodded his head and inserted his piece about it, "I seriously thought that Santana was going to hit Rachel because she was saying some stuff in Spanish … her angry sounding Spanish, too!"

"We were all, 'dayum girl! You need to cool it," Mercedes jumped in with serious eyes.

"You know that Mercedes and I are pretty chummy with her but she has been annoying us lately too with her diva attitude." Kurt said, brushing something off of his very expensive looking coat. "The thing is … well, I think she's acting this way because she's really worried about you and she's handling things the only way she knows how to … her coping mechanisms are really annoying though." Kurt rolled his eyes and went back to exchanging gossip with Mercedes and talking about his manly man crush on _the_ very _sexy_ Blaine Anderson.

Needless to say Mike, Tina, and Quinn tuned them out as they continued to talk. "So the other day I saw Santana glaring daggers at Rachel and she even went as far as to crack her knuckles and crack her neck. She looked like she was getting ready to get out of her seat and just _lunge_ but then Brittany intercepted her and whispered something into her ear that I'm sure none of us want to know from the smirk that appeared on her face afterwards." Tina said with a slightly disgusted look on her face, her nose even wrinkled slightly in distaste reminding Quinn of Rachel's face after she tried eating fake shrimp once. Needless to say she never tried it again and often her nose wrinkled in disgust when Quinn ate _real_ shrimp in front of her even though Quinn protested that the real thing tasted _so_ much better. Rachel could be snooty but it didn't bother Quinn one bit. She actually thought it was rather cute when Rachel showed that side of her when they were alone together in Quinn's condo.

"I'm pretty sure everyone in the room had that same expression as you Tina … Mike has that face right now, too I can see." Quinn was smiling her small smile at them and they just shook their heads to rid those rather unpleasant thoughts from their heads. It wasn't actually unpleasant so much as disturbing for them considering they didn't like to think about the possibility of what Brittany and Santana got up to at night … or any other time during the day. That was private and private things should stay private. "Let's … let's talk about something else now since that subject is rather … private and I would rather not think about that … or imagine it for that matter." Quinn was probably the most uncomfortable out of the three because she had seen far more than she ever wished to because they were her best friends after all and she spent most of her free time with them. She already saw them do things like kiss, make out, and sometimes they would grope each other when she wasn't expecting it and she would walk in on them doing something serious, forgetting where they were at the moment. Quinn supposed she could understand that but sometimes she wished she could bleach certain memories from her mind because of what she had been witness to over the years between them.

"Oh … well do you know when you'll be let out of the hospital Quinn?" Tina asked with a hopeful tone of voice. Mike nodded his head in agreement; also curious about when she would be getting out of the hospital.

"Yeah you've been in the hospital for nine days now I think … well I'd ask Rachel but she'd probably freak out or something. She might have a stroke or get an aneurism if I asked her how long you've been in the hospital because her major freak outs happen when someone mentions you." Tina nodded her head vigorously in agreement to Mike's statement. "You'd think she was acting that way because she thinks you're dying or something." Those words struck something in Quinn, a feeling, that gave her an idea as to what was potentially bothering Rachel so much. It was just a theory she had anyways and nothing necessarily concrete.

Just then someone else walked into the room, "Quinn. I brought you some soup so you'd better be grateful because I nearly busted my ass going through security!" Santana yelled into the room, causing everyone to shush her because they didn't want to get kicked out.

"You're going to get us all kicked out if you keep that up Santana!" Kurt hissed indignantly. Santana narrowed her eyes at him.

"You hissing, like that, _isn't_ any better than me talking loudly like the fierce Latina that I am." Santana snapped back, "and anyways Aretha Franklin, Chang squared, or you, dancing Queen, have to leave so that Brits and me can gets into the room. They don't want more than four visitors at a time or whatever." Santana sniffed, looking at her nails with a bored expression on her face. It was so typical of Santana that everyone in the room just rolled their eyes at her slightly offensive, but mostly accurate, terms of endearment for the four. "We wants to actually visit Q any day now … preferably before I become a seventy year old virgin if you don't mind."

This had everyone rolling their eyes, "I'd tell you to quit with the sass but I think you were born that way so I'll just let it slide." Kurt sniffed with only slightly rosy cheeks and a raised eyebrow. "Mercedes …" he waited for her to look at him, "let's be off before she starts insulting the magnificent hair that is entirely ours or worse … our fashionable sense." Kurt turned on his heel and walked out with diva swag and a slight huff as Mercedes followed with a strut of her own.

Santana chuckled into the silent room, aside from the consistent beeping of the machines, "well that was easier than I thought." There was a distinctive smirk on her face, and it was even evident in her voice that she was smirking, her trademark smirk of triumph. She turned around, her hair whipping around with her, and she acknowledged Mike and Tina by saying something that was a stereotyping quip. "Open your eyes Chang squared," and they responded exactly the way she had anticipated.

"They _are_ open!" Tina said it with a little bit more attitude than Mike but it still served to amuse her without fail every time she said it. Quinn even gave a breathy chuckle at how predictable they were with their automatic response to such a statement. "Ugh … every time you do that … I just want to face palm so very terribly Santana … I really do." Tina said with an arched eyebrow and a hand on her cocked hip, a sassy stance that Santana definitely took notice of immediately.

"My, my, my _some_one is being rather … _sexy_ …" Santana's look was definitely predatory as she looked at Tina and without blinking she started saying something that had Tina shivering slightly. "Hey Mike, do you thi—" but she was interrupted rudely and swiftly.

"No, absolutely not! Never going to happen Santana!" Mike said with a slight glare in her direction without having to hear her finish her sentence he knew, instinctively, what Santana was going to ask him and he did not like it. "You already asked about that before and I'm going to say it again, Tina is my girlfriend and I am not sharing her even if you offer me 'the night of my life' as you put it." Mike said with air quotes included. Santana only chuckled in mirth and amusement over his protective stance in front of Tina now. The only reason Santana persisted in asking was because Tina had always wanted to try a threesome with another girl but she didn't know how to tell Mike about it. Tina had her fantasies too and they included making out with another girl and then some. Tina only looked slightly disappointed behind Mike's protective towering frame but she managed to hide it when he peeked over his shoulder to look at her. "We should get going Tina. It's already almost 8:30 now and we need to go over to your mom's for dinner. We're already going to be cutting it close since she lives on the opposite side of town from where our apartment is." Tina nodded and they both said their goodbyes to Quinn, Brittany, and Santana, Mike was looking at Santana warily because she was still giving Tina a look.

"Tina really needs to tell Mike the real reason I keep asking them that. Oh well, it's not my problem anyways so what does it matter to me." Santana said with a shrug and a smug look still on her face. "Hey Brit?" Santana called softly, linking her tan pinky with Brittany's much fairer complexion. Brittany looked up with a bright smile.

"Yeah San?" Brittany's innocent, soft smile was always contagious and Quinn could often be seen smiling when Brittany looked at her like that. It was no wonder though considering how sweet Brittany was and how naïve she was still even now despite the fact that a great many things she did were not considered innocent at _all_. Brittany was also a Police Detective too so … it was a wonder Brittany still managed to have the bright and innocent outlook on life like she did. Either way Brittany's innocent mind was something that Quinn and Santana both tried to protect.

"Did you bring in the soup from the car? I'm pretty sure Q has had every soup imaginable on earth but she's still not allowed to eat solids yet." Santana shook her head, "I don't know how you're doing this Q … seriously living on soup can't be that easy." Brittany nodded her head in agreement to the statement.

"I remember when my dad had a surgery for his stomach once he couldn't eat anything heavy so all my mom made was soup everyday and I had to eat it too. I didn't like soup after that for a while." Brittany said with her innocent voice that was sometimes just too childish in a cute way that had the tough Latina and cold detectives swooning a little bit.

The peaceful moment between friends was broken when another person entered the room, one that immediately soured Santana's mood. "What are _you_ doing here _hobbit_ from hell?" Santana asked snidely causing Quinn to yell out a protest and Brittany to nudge her gently.

"Santana! I thought we talked about this!" Quinn said angrily, attempting to sit up straighter and hissing in pain from the effort. "Damn it!" Quinn cursed under her breath when she felt the stitches in her stomach stretch more than they should.

Rachel was immediately by her side, "are you all right Quinn?!" Rachel's package for Quinn lay forgotten on a nearby chair and she was gently holding Quinn's shoulders to help her sit back against the angled upper half of the bed. "You need to be careful with how you move because in case you've forgotten you have two stitched up bullet holes in your body." Quinn understood why Rachel said what she said but Santana on the other hand took it very personally and in the wrong way.

"Hey dwarf, why don't you back off a little huh? She's, like you said, got two fucking bullet holes in her fucking body so lay off of her will you?" Santana's stance was one of authority with how her hands were placed on her hips and how she seemed to be looking down at Rachel from where she stood, several feet away from her. "She doesn't need a reminder of why she's here."

"San," Brittany whispered softly, shaking her head in disapproval of Santana's entirely uncalled for reprimand.

Just when Rachel looked like she was about to give a retort of some sort Quinn's hand covered Rachel's arm gently, causing Rachel to look over at her. "Don't," she whispered softly while shaking her head. Rachel just nodded her head in agreement after looking into Quinn's soft golden green gaze for a moment. "Santana … there was no need for you to say those things even if you were upset. I know that Rachel isn't your favorite person but she's my friend too so please … just for my sake don't say things like that anymore even if I'm not around. I've heard about you two fighting like mortal high school enemies … or petty Chinese mythological gods do according to Mike and Tina. From what I've been told Rachel has been … less than pleasant to work with but if you just ignore the fact that she is someone you dislike things like this wouldn't happen. So, please, for my sake stop fighting with her." Quinn looked so exhausted, and she really was, despite being in a hospital and resting most of that time. Santana softened around the edges immediately and she nodded her head once, looking more like she was inclining her head. Quinn sighed in relief and then turned her attention to Rachel, "as for you Rachel … don't think you're getting off the hook just because you're a tiny little thing. Please don't try to antagonize her … or at the very least ease up a little at work. I've heard that you've been a tyrant worse than Sue even and the only reason she has been tolerating it is because she 'sees a young, prettier Sue Sylvester' in you as I've been told by _several_ visitors from work." Rachel looked away from Quinn's gaze for a moment, sheepish looks gracing her features. "I know this has been hard on you but always remember that I am here if you need to talk about whatever it is bothering you."

"I … I'm sorry about my behavior at work Santana." Rachel was looking over at Santana as she spoke and Santana just nodded her head in acceptance again, making it look like it was merely a head inclination once more. "I promise that I won't be as … unreasonable as I have been at work. I really haven't been easy to work with and I … I will make sure not to be that way anymore if I can help myself." Santana rolled her eyes at the last part but managed to hide it turning her head to the side a little bit as she prepared herself for her apology to the aggravating midget in the form of Rachel Berry.

Looking at the wall to her right Santana stumbled through her apology … well sort of apology anyways considering it was her. "I know that I said a lot of mean things and that most of it was … undeserved … but you still pissed me the hell off so … you can't really blame me for that. I know that most of it was just me losing my cool because I dislike you … and all that but I'll try to keep myself from ripping your head off one of these days because you're so damn annoying you piss me off so much." Rachel actually sat where she was, jaw hanging open slightly, silent with incredulity because what the heck kind of an apology was that? Rachel had never heard a more backward apology in her life … a more insulting apology than the one she just had to sit through and remember for the rest of her life with her memory being the way it was. Quinn herself cringed internally but externally she gave Santana a disapproving glare, hoping Santana would look over to see it any moment now. Santana finally looked over after the silence lasted too long, "what?" she asked, noticing the look on both Quinn and Rachel's faces. Quinn she was more worried about than Rachel.

"Santana … I know there isn't exactly an apology class or anything like that but … who taught you how to apologize?" Rachel asked her voice full of shock and wonder at how very insulting apologies could actually be. Rachel had never been more offended by a peace offering like the one just delivered by fierce Latina Santana Lopez.

"I … I …" Santana looked at the floor before admitting, through a nearly mumbled explanation, "I was never told to apologize for things when I was younger. The attitude was that a Lopez never apologizes for anything because even though we were poor we still had our pride."

Quinn felt her jaw drop open because Santana admitting something like that was so drastic the world might as well have been ending. Bring on the apocalypse now! It was an extremely private and personal thing for Santana to admit and for her to admit it was a big thing to begin with. Santana admitting it to Rachel Berry, who she detested very much so?, that was like the sun imploding and all of the natural light in the world dying for good. That was just unheard of and most importantly unseen.

Rachel was stunned as well by the admission. "It's … it's okay Santana … I … I understand and from now on you don't have to apologize to me for any reason short of you murdering me. I understand what it's like to grow up being different from other children … from other people; I suppose that's the better word for it."

And just like that, that was the end of the matter. And a week and a half later when Quinn was finally allowed out of the hospital Quinn swore she was never going to order soup to eat for at least a year because she was so sick of all of the soup she ate in the last two and a half weeks. She was swearing off soup for at least a year to recover her taste for them and those stitches would have to be removed at a different time according to the doctors. Quinn was just glad to be out of the hospital and back in her own home as well as having the privilege of having solid foods again. That was a definite plus in her book.

So sorry it took so long for me to update this story but I've been such a busy bee and then I got fired last week and I was really very upset over that and so I just took some time off of writing. I tried but I was just so upset about the entire situation because the reason for me being fired was quite unfair and I just needed to cheer myself up from all of that drama. Please tell me your thoughts on the chapter and I hope I receive a lot of love from everyone! Until the next chapter my lovely readers!^^

姫宮光る


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